Wishes
by AlwaysxAddicted
Summary: Sequel to Nightmares It's been almost a year since Lilly and Jackson's relationship ended and Lilly wishes that she's still with Jackson and not with Oliver. Will Lilly's wishes ever come true? Complete
1. Wishes Never Come True

**A/N **Hey people, well this is the sequel to _Nightmares_.

**Wishes**

**Chapter 1**

**Wishes Never Come True**

I felt two arms circle my waist, pulling me close against its hard body. I smiled as I placed my hands over his while staring into the baby's crib. I felt him nuzzle my neck and then I turned up to him.

"Jackson." I whispered and he lifted his head up from my neck. He placed a soft kiss upon my lips and then pulled me backward toward the bed. He put me on his lap and smiled once at me.

I looked back at the crib as Jackson kissed my cheek. "How's our baby?" He asked and laced his fingers with mine.

"You saw her, she's sleeping." I softly replied and leaned my head against his shoulder. I snuggled deeper into him as I kissed his neck. His hand around my waist tightened and he turned his head to kiss me.

I placed my hand on the back of his neck and smiled into the kiss. His thumbs circling the back of my hand as he places soft and small kisses on my skin.

He gave me one last kiss and soon we parted with smiles on both of our faces.

"I love you." I whispered and soon his smile was replaced with a frown.

"No you don't." He whispered back. He shook his head and released his hand fro my own.

"What?" I asked as I sat there completely confused with what he was saying.

He continued to shake his head. "You love Oliver. That's your baby with him." He said and I got up from his lap.

I gazed at him, completely confused at what was happening.

"This is not right you-" I started but soon was cut off from him.

"You broke your promise and didn't keep with us staying we were before. You don't love me, you love Oliver. "He got up from the bed and placed one last kiss upon my lips.

"I love you, but you forgot me." He said and soon walked out of the room.

-----------

I shot up from my bed and soon realized that it was a dream.

It had to be a dream, I mean nothing like that happens in real life and I guess it has to do with me missing Jackson again. I've been having the same dream for a while and it really hurts whenever it comes to the end.

I love Jackson, but I'm with Oliver. I know I broke that promise between me and Jackson and it's hard for me already.

Everything seems to be coming in as dreams and I realized that not all dreams come true.

I shook my head and then realized that my baby was crying. I stood up from my bed and made my way toward the crib as I picked up my baby girl, Lauren Ann Truscott. I went back toward the bed as I slowly rocked my arms from left to right, trying to get her to calm down.

I gave birth to her on Thursday, February 14, 2008, Valentines Day. So many memories on this particular date and yeah, if I were to still be with Jackson, we would've been together for a full year, but I'm not with Jackson, I'm with Oliver.

Anyway, while giving birth to Lauren, I was given the option to give her up for adoption, but I couldn't. The moment I laid eyes on her and held her in my arms, I knew I wanted to keep her. My parents and Oliver's parents weren't too pleased with my decision, but Oliver too wanted to keep her which shocked me the most. I thought he wanted to follow his parent's decision until he said that he couldn't let go of a baby. Our parents agreed and so here we are now with Lauren.

It's been about 3 months since she was born so my little girl is almost 13 weeks old and she's getting big. I'm home schooled for the rest of the term since I have to take care about the baby and it's really hard on me. My teacher gives so much work and it's so irritating because I want to spend time with Lauren, but I have to do my work.

I stared down at Lauren once she finally stopped crying. She just seemed so perfect, but it still affected me that she wasn't a planned baby.

I sighed deeply and looked up. At the door, there stood Oliver with a side grin spread among his face. Ever since Lauren was born, Oliver and I held an innocent and pure relationship. We've gotten really close, but not close enough for me to actually love him romantically. I'm still in love with Jackson and I can't let go of him. Jackson's my first and only love and that's all I want. None of my feelings for Jackson subsided even if I'm not with him and somewhat with Oliver. I just want him back is all.

"Hey you." He said as he stepped into my room. His room. Our room.

"Hey." I softly replied and looked down at Lauren. She was taking another nap by now and I smiled.

He walked over toward me and sat down next to me on the bed. "How is she?" He asked as he placed his head on my shoulder and looked down at Lauren with me.

"She's great."

He smiled. "It's amazing how she looks almost exactly like you."

"She is our baby; she has to take looks from the prettier person." I joked and put my head on Oliver's.

"Well, I'm happy she came out that way. She's beautiful, just like her mom." He grinned and I felt his hand just behind me.

I felt a blush creep toward my cheeks. "Anyway, how was school?" I asked, trying to change the subject. The only person who has ever called me beautiful when I didn't want to look pretty was Jackson and I wanted it to stay that way. It's just weird being this close to Oliver.

He sighed and lightly shook his head. "It's hard."

I looked up at him and smiled. "You're almost out for summer, just one more week until it's over."

"Yeah, but still… finals and projects. It's like that for every single class. I hardly have time to stay home now because I'm either finishing a project or at work." He sighed once again. "Anyway, everyone misses you at school. They can't wait to see you next year." He stated.

"And the next thing I know, people are going to call me slut here and there." I replied.

"Don't say that." He rubbed my back. "There are other people in school who have babies and do you see other people calling them sluts? All of us want you to walk with us at graduation."

"Okay, okay. I have three months to think about it, just drop the subject, please?" I told him. He kissed my cheek and went back to staring at Lauren.

I missed school a lot since I started being home schooled. It was the only thing I could do, I mean my mom and Oliver's parents suggest that I do it which I didn't mind. It was a lot harder than I realized it would be and I wish I as back at school, but I'm just afraid of people talking behind my back about me, Oliver, and Lauren.

I haven't kept in contact with anyone except Oliver and Miley of course. Not even my skater friends or my cheerleading friends. Wow, I'm 100 percent most likely off the cheerleading squad anyway; I don't even know why I tried.

I lifted my head from Oliver's and got up from the bed.

"You want to hold her?" I asked him and he nodded.

"Yeah."

I gently placed her in her father's arms and Oliver stiffly sat there while he slowly rocked her.

I crossed my arms and stared at the two.

Oliver's acting responsible and doing whatever to help support what we have now. I'm happy with what he's doing, but I just feel utterly confused. Why stay with me when he knows I'm still in love with Jackson? I know he still has feelings for Miley but its still makes me wonder how long it will take him until he finally realizes that from the beginning that this isn't right. Sure I love him, but that love isn't as strong as the one I had with Jackson.

_Jackson_…

I sighed and continued to watch Oliver and Lauren as he settled down and kissed her forehead.

I shook my head.

Oliver's here and Jackson's in college. I have a baby with Oliver, but I can't forget Jackson. My life has been so confusing ever since I started dating Jackson and now that I'm with Oliver, it makes it even more screwed up.

I just wished that there was an easier way to put this.

My dreams came true when I got together with Jackson.

My nightmares came true when Jackson left me for college and I got pregnant with Oliver's baby.

And even if I wish Jackson is with me right now, my wishes will never come true.

Wishes never come true so all I have to do is stay here and watch days go by wondering how it would be like if Jackson was with me and Lauren was really his baby.

**A/N **There you go. Hope you liked this chapter; it was so hard to write. Anyway, thanks for reading. Sorry if it sucks, there were so many possible ways it could start so it was really hard for me.


	2. So Wrong

**Chapter 2**

**So Wrong**

I was sitting in the living room I walked downstairs and found Leah sitting in the living room, watching TV. She was lying sprawled on the couch and as soon as she saw me, she sat down and smiled at me.

"And the teen mother finally leaves her room." She joked as I sat down next to her.

"Shut up." I took a pillow next to me and hit her face with it. I giggled and she poked my stomach.

Oliver seemed to be okay with Lauren and so I left him with her just for a little bit. I know I shouldn't be doing that, but he said it would be good for me to go out and relax a bit. I agreed with him, of course. As much as it's had for me to let go of Lauren for just a minute, Oliver persuaded me to go take a walk or a nice long shower, instead I just went downstairs to see what Leah was doing.

"So what, you want to go out? The father is finally having time alone with the baby; let's see how long he'll last until he needs to call you in to help him." Leah grinned and threw a pillow at me.

I shook my head. "No to going out and yes to Oliver having alone time with Lauren. I'm exhausted and I'm not leaving the house with a clueless dad, I mean he's Oliver, Leah." I leaned back and pulled my legs up to my chest.

Oliver is Oliver and I never really saw him as a father figure until now. He's really good with Lauren but he would constantly need help. He still has trouble with changing her diaper and it gets me angry that he always has trouble with getting it on right.

Leah huffed. "That's why we go shopping. I'm sure he knows what he's doing by now, he's been practicing and he's getting better at it." She nodded. "And there's three months of practice in between this."

"Whatever, I'm still not going. She's only three months old Leah, I don't plan on leaving her all alone at home with Oliver until she's like… a year or something." I sighed. "There's no point in going out anyway, I have no one to impress." I pressed my forehead against my knees.

"Oh gosh Lilly, can you get even more emo?" Leah said and once again hit me with the pillow. "There are lots of people who you can impress. I should take you out shopping or partying. You need to be more active Lilly, at least you lost all that weight from being pregnant… and you have a perfect body, you should seriously flaunt it." Leah took a strand of my hair and twirled it with her finger.

I shook my head and groaned. I knew she was only doing this to make me happy, but I'm not even happy. I don't want to go out and 'party' I don't want to go shopping. Why can't she just leave me alone? I want quietness and time to think, but she's making it harder for me to think.

As I continued to ignore Leah talking about me going out, I heard the front door open and close. I lifted my head up, watching the entrance to the living room.

"Is anyone home?" The person asked.

"In here." I shouted back as soon as I realized it was Miley.

She appeared at the entrance of the living room and smiled. She walked over and sat down beside me holding up her purse and a bag.

Miley finally forgave me a few months before Lauren was born and now we act like how we used to act like before. We pretend like nothing ever happened between us and it's pretty cool, I'll admit. Though, I know for sure she still has feelings for Oliver, even if she says she has no feelings for him, I know that's a lie. I see the way she looks at him and I feel guilty every time, so maybe one day they will confront their feelings for each other again. That is though, if Oliver doesn't follow what our parents want us to do, which is the "right thing" and end up getting married or something.

"Mommy is finally out of her room." She joked and handed me one of her bags.

I rolled my eyes and I looked inside of it, finding a little outfit for Jocelyn and on the tag was the label HM. It was a cute light pink shirt and the letter L on it. It's cute and it's for Lauren. Sometimes I think Miley gets these things for Lauren to spoil her. Miley got so many things for Lauren already and it's too much at times.

I laughed. "Giving your little niece a little Hannah Montana present now?" I asked and she laughed.

"Well, it's a new design and since I don't have any kids, I was like, "Why don't I give it to my best friend who happens to have a kid?" She laughed.

"That's cute." Leah said and reached for the clothes to look at it.

"So what's up with you? You're out and where's Oliver?" She asked.

"Well, Oliver told me that I needed to take a break and so here I am." I dropped my legs to the ground.

"Sounds nice of him." She flatly replied.

"Anyway, what's up?" I asked.

I knew she only asked these things about Oliver just to be nice or something. She talks to him too, it's just a little too awkward for them in a way with their past and whatnot.

"Well," She thought for a second while pressing a finger against her cheek. "Projects, concerts, finals, interviews, tests, photo shoots, Jackson's back, new album release-"

_Did she just say Jackson's back?_

"-more and more projects."

"Jackson's back?" I asked and held my breath. Is he really back?

She giggled. "Did I say that?" She shrugged. "So yeah, I'm just a busy person now."

"Don't change the subject." I said, sounding serious, and tilted my head at her. "When did he come back?"

"I don't know." She sighed while shaking her head. "All my dad told me was that he was back but I didn't get to see him yet."

It made me feel a little different. Jackson's back and not even Miley has seen him yet. It has made me curious. I wonder how he feels about me. I wonder if he forgot about me or if he has no feelings for me whatsoever. I miss everything about him and his sweet talks it just makes me think and thinking like this is wrong, but I can't help it.

I guess what I'm saying is, I wonder if he ever forgot about me. That promise he made and said he kept is the one thing I'm dying to know.

"Lilly, I'm not trying to put things in your head. You're with Oliver now so you do have to watch out if you ever see him." Miley said as she took my hand.

"What? I know I'm with Oliver-sorta. I just don't know what I'm going to do when I see him. It's been a while since I last saw him… Jackson…" I shook my head. It would be wrong for me to get together with him again. It would be so wrong and yet so right and I don't know what else to do.

"Lilly, don't you dare do something you'll regret. You have so many things going on right now and Jackson should be the last thing on your mind. You have a baby and Oliver to think of. Plus mom actually thinks your relationship with Oliver is working out and I don't want her to worry about you again. Seriously Lilly, don't do anything stupid again." Leah said firmly and nudged my side.

"Yes I know; will you guys just relax? Miley, you were the one who said that Jackson was coming back, you made me think about it so now it's going to be stuck in my head." I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "You know what? I think I'm going for a little walk." I smiled at them and got up from the couch.

I headed for the door when I heard Leah and Miley talk in hushed voices. With me being curious again, I stopped just before reaching the front door to listen to what they're saying.

"Do you think Lilly would actually go back to Jackson?" Leah asked. I walked out of the living room and leaned against the wall outside the living room to hear what they were saying.

"Well, I don't know. She's been depressed, I know it and I know she misses Jackson, but she can't ruin it between Oliver and herself. They have a baby and if Jackson messes it up between them, I would never forgive him." Miley whispered back.

"You know, maybe seeing Jackson would bring up her mood-" Leah started, but soon was caught off with Miley's.

"And then she'll fall back in love with him and then it would ruin her and Oliver. Leah, be smart." Miley hissed.

I rolled my eyes. I had enough of this. I opened the door and slammed it shut. I stepped out the house and crossed my arms over my chest slightly shivering. It's been a while since I went out of the house and already I feel insecure about it, but I have to face the fact that I may never get the chance to go out alone without anyone worrying about me.

I walked out of the patio and started heading out the sidewalk. I was still in my sweat pants and I had a tank top on so I guess it looked like I was jogging or something, but I had slippers on so it kind of changes in a way.

I sighed and pressed my fingers to my temples. Jackson's back and Miley hasn't seen him. It just doesn't sound right. He should see his sister while he's here on vacation, and only Mr. Stewart has seen him. What does that mean? Is he avoiding her or something? It doesn't make sense.

I sighed and narrowed my eyes to the ground, putting my hands to my hips and continued to walk the sidewalk. Maybe he's avoiding every contact that could remind him of me. I did ruin everything between us just by what happened between me and Oliver. It just really makes me mad that I can't do anything about it, but think.

I can imagine his soft lips against my skin, leaving feathery kisses along my neck. His hands around me with his soft voice telling me sweet nothings. I still can see how his lips twitched in satisfaction when I make him happy and the way he acted when he's trying to cheer me up. It's just so hard not to forget about it.

Everything about him is just so enticing and it's hard to keep focus knowing that I could see him anytime from now on. There could be that little spark we used to have when we first was together if we do end up seeing each other out of nowhere. I mean, he can be any where in Malibu and maybe I'll bump into him if I continue on walking or something.

I blushed. I shouldn't be thinking this way. Here I am having my usual dreams about Jackson back at the house and now knowing that he's back is affecting me, making me day dream about him. I don't even know if he still looks the same and I'm already hoping I'd get the chance to see him. I'm horrible.

I shook my head in frustration. I took this walk because I needed to clear my mind, but all I can think about is Jackson and I need help. This isn't healthy, I can't keep thinking this way, but it's so hard not to. It makes me think a lot of him and if he even wants to see me or make any sort of contact with me.

I rolled my eyes and thrust my foot forward, trying to restrain myself from doing anything stupid. Instead of hitting the ground, I stepped on a rock and found myself falling forward. Then suddenly, I felt someone grab onto me.

I grabbed onto the persons arm, steadying myself. Man, how embarrassing. I almost fell in front of this person. I must look stupid right now.

"Watch out next… Lilly?"

I looked up and the first thing that caught my eye was the blond hair.

**A/N **Okay, sorry for not updating in a while, I'm trying to finish a fic so that I can concentrate on this fic lol and I've been busy. I finish summer school next week and so I'll hopefully have more and quicker updates. Anyway hope you liked this and a lot more coming up.


	3. Old Friends

**Chapter 3**

**Old Friends**

"Stephen?" I shouted and with my eyes widening at the sight of him. Since when did he have blond hair?

He stared at me while he held me. He couldn't stop looking at me, it's kind of weird. He looked like the same old Stephen I used to know, with the cute face strong looking face and that cute crooked smile.

"It's been a while!" He said and hugged me. He held on tightly and it was making it harder for me too breathe; he was just hugging me too tightly. I could feel his breath against my cheek and I smiled as I patted his back.

It has been a while, I'll admit that. I just didn't find the need to call him or talk to him after what happened and how stupid he was acting when he found out about me and Oliver. He was being a jerk then and now that I haven't talked to him for so long, I miss him.

"Stephen, you're crushing me." I gasped out as I grasped on his shirt on his back.

He let go of me and chuckled. "I'm sorry I missed you. You haven't talked to me or Emily in a long time and we miss you, you know?" He said and lifted a hand to my cheek. "You still look the same, I'm happy."

I blushed. "Uh, thanks, but you… blond hair? Seriously Stephen, what were you thinking?" I asked and lifted my hand to his hair. I picked a piece of his hair and lightly tugged at it.

"It was the '_in_' thing and my friends and I wanted to try out." He shook his head. "Stupidest thing in the world." Stephen asked and started to walk toward his car. I followed closely behind him as he popped open the trunk.

"Right." I rolled my eyes looked into his trunk. He had a bunch of bags in there. It kind of confuses me. Why is he even here with a car? I turned my head toward the house. "Why are you here?" I asked. We were just about a block away from my own house and it's really weird.

"Well, I live here with Emily since my parents kind of kicked me out." He said and started to dig through his things in his trunk.

"Why did they kick you out?" I asked and he laughed.

"Well, I talked back to my dad and I sort of fought with him." He shrugged and turned to me. "I don't care. My dad gets me mad. He hates my friends and he wants me to be like one of those smart people, he can't change me and I told him that."

"Ah, I see." I said and looked back at the house.

So this is where Emily lives huh?

I eyed the house. It was a two story house and it looked really pretty, kind of like those model houses. It was colored blue and white and the yard seemed pretty big. I bet there's a pool in the back of the house, she seems like the rich person. She probably had her parents buy her this house.

"How's the baby, Lauren is it?" Stephen then asked and I looked at him. He smiled at me while leaning against his car.

"Well, yeah. She's doing fine; Oliver's taking care of her right now." I told him and he started to nod.

"Yeah, Oliver can't stop talking about how amazing and adorable she is. She seems really nice; I would like to meet her one day." He reached forward and placed a hand on my arm.

"You could I guess. She's kind of quiet, I guess, but she's still sweet." I nodded and looked around.

It was a little awkward talking about this with Stephen. I didn't even know Oliver talked about the baby until now. He must really love Lauren and I never realized that he did until now.

"One day. So what have you been doing?" He asked and I laughed.

"Taking care of the baby and home school. Yeah, I'm not much of an outsider anymore." I said and leaned against the car next to him.

A lot of things can change in so little time, I kind of feel like I hardly know him now. Wow, shows how much I've been excluding my friends from my own life.

"You should go out more, it's healthy." Stephen said and tapped me and the shoulder.

I turned to him and shrugged. "I just haven't had the need to go out and do anything. I just want to be at Lauren's side and with Jackson back, its like, do I really want to see him now, you know?" I told him and he nodded, but paused and eyed me suspiciously.

"You know about Jackson being back?" He asked and I nodded.

"Yeah, I found out today, or just a few minutes ago. Miley kind of slipped it out, but I don't care. He probably doesn't want to see me after screwing it up between us. I really thought that maybe if he was back that maybe I could have a chance with him, but then again, who wants to be with a girl who has a kid right?" I sighed and crossed my arms.

I really don't know how to feel about this. My last moments with him, the kiss we shared and my broken promise. It just doesn't seem fair for what I did. I know he loved me then, but does he love me now? It's these stupid questions that haunt me and continuously comes back to me each night I have a dream that involved Jackson. It really hurts knowing I screwed it up between us.

"Stay positive Lilly, you'll never know what will happen. Plus you have Oliver now so you shouldn't be thinking about Jackson right now. You should be thinking about your baby and what will happen between you and Oliver." He said and reached for my arm, lightly squeezing it.

"Thanks. I know I'm with Oliver, but I can't help but feel like I'm not being true to him. My heart is with someone else and he's there waiting for me. I'm afraid that if he stays longer with me, then he and Miley won't ever get back together. I know that they still feel for each other, they just don't want to admit it." I shook my head and closed my eyes.

"Your right. He has started to develop small feelings for you, but he does somewhat still like Miley. He just wants to be a good father figure to Lauren; he doesn't want to seem like one of those teen fathers who just leave their kids." Stephen draped his arm around me and I hugged him with one arm.

It felt nice to hug someone right now. I really should get out and I should stay positive. I can't believe I spilled just about everything I'm feeling to Stephen after it has been a long time since I last talked to him.

"Thanks for listening to me. I really needed this talk." I smiled at him.

He smiled back and let go of me as he went back to his trunk. "Hey, I have to bring this inside and I'm sorry if it seems like I'm letting you off so fast after we just got into our talk, but I have to bring it in before someone throws a fit at me again. I'll talk to you later?" He took a bunch of bags with his arms and started heading toward the house.

"How about I hel-" I started, but he shook his head.

"No!" He shouted and bit his lip. "I mean, Emily wouldn't want that. She wants to see you and she's at school right now. How about you come over later?" He suggested and I nodded.

"Uh, sure." I raised an eyebrow and shook my head. "I'll see you later then." I said and stalked off back toward my house.

That was weird. He said no like he didn't want me to see anything or he was hiding something in the house. Oh well, that was an interesting meeting.

I shrugged and started back at the house.

--------

A few days later I hung out with Miley in the living room while feeding Lauren. I still couldn't keep my mind straight and concentrating on Lauren knowing that Jackson is back. So many things can happen and I wonder when I'll get my chance to get a glimpse of him.

I glanced at Lauren and noticed she was done with her bottle. I looked over at Miley and notice her staring at Lauren.

"Hey Miley, do you think you can hold Lauren for a bit?" I asked her and she nodded.

I got up from the couch and Miley positioned herself on the couch, getting ready to carry Lauren. I carefully put Lauren in her arms and shook my arms off. Carrying a baby for so long can be a little tiring.

I sat down next to her, relaxing a bit when I started to feel like asking her if she heard anything from Jackson yet. I don't know why I'm asking and I sort of feel like I'm obsessing over him. I hate feeling like this and I hate feeling like this, but I need to know. It's like, I want to see how things are going, but I'm afraid to say anything. Miley and Leah are worried that I might actually fall in love with Jackson when I never stopped loving him.

I gazed up at Miley and bit my lip, trying to hold in from asking the question, but my mind took the better of me and finally asked. "Have you talked to Jackson yet?"

She pursed her lips and lifted her eyes from Lauren to me. She sighed and nodded. "Once, only once." She said and went back to looking at Lauren.

"How is he?"

"He's good. He wants to catch up with some friends before seeing us, well me. He only called me. I don't care; he can be with his friends. I miss him, sure, but if his friends are more important then fine." She shrugged.

"Is that all he said?" I asked and she closed her eyes for a second.

She took a deep breath and nodded. "Yes, that's all he said. Don't think about him Lilly, he's just being stupid right now. I say that college changed him."

"Oh." I got up from my seat and I went into the kitchen, bringing Lauren's bottle into the sink.

I put the bottle in the sink and went back to the living room to see how Miley was holding up. She still carried Lauren and looked a little happy and confused at the same time. I wonder what she's thinking about.

I smiled and got out of the living room and up the stairs to my bedroom. I looked around for a second and realized I need to stock up on some diapers and baby powder.

I should probably go grocery shopping, but should I really trust Miley to stay here with Lauren or should I wait for Oliver?

If I wait for Oliver, it will be dark already and the stores might be closed. If I go now, I might be able to see Jackson or something if I go.

I took my wallet with me and looked at myself in the mirror. I fixed my hair a little and straightened out my outfit which was some old jeans and a tank top. I ran my hands through my hair and pulled it up in a tight ponytail. I went into my closet to get out a jacket and I slipped it on.

I slipped my wallet and phone into my pocket and got out of my room. I started down the stairs and once I reached the living room, I noticed Miley watching TV.

"Hey, I'm going to go to the store for a bit, I need to get some diapers. Do you want anything?" I told Miley and her eyes widened.

"No, don't leave!" She covered her mouth with a hand and looked at Lauren. "What if something bad happens?" She asked.

"Nothing will happen; it won't take me too long, I'm going to the one a few blocks from here." I told her and took the car keys from the hook in the closet. I headed out the door and Miley called for me.

"Just call me if you need anything." I told her and closed the door to the house. I went in my car and started up the car. It had been a really long time since I last drove; I hope I remember how to drive.

I reversed out of the driveway and started to drive off to the closest supermarket to my house. I parked in the parking lot and it looked as if not much people were there with the lack of cars in the parking lot.

I got out of my car and went straight to the store. I ignored whatever was in my way and I got a cart and went to the baby section of the market and got some diapers and powder. I had to hurry up, Miley must be freaking out that I left her alone with Lauren; I hope nothing bad happens, but I did need to leave the house for a second. Stephen was right about me needing to go out once in a while.

I was just walking around the market, looking for anything Oliver or Leah wanted to eat or something Lauren might need. In the end of all of this, I had a car full of junk food and baby supplies and I must seem like a crazy person for buying so much things.

When I finally decided that I was done with my shopping, I went up to the line for the register. There were only a few people here and there was only one register open. There usually are more people here, but it seems like the store is going slow with the other open grocery stores out there.

There were two people in front of me and they seemed to be stuck while paying. I leaned against the handles of the rusted old cart and put my forehead against my forearm. I didn't know why they were taking so long, it's putting your groceries in a bag, paying, and then leaving. If it's that easy, why is it taking these people a long time?

Hurry up; I have a baby to get back to! I shouted in my mind. I felt my arm being tapped and I lifted my head up to see what it was. It was a finger, probably from the person in front of me.

"Do you think I could borrow a… Lilly?" A voice which sounded so familiar and soft. Something I haven't heard in a really long time.

I stood up straight, letting my arms fall to my sides, and found myself staring straight at a person who looked exactly like…

"Jackson?"

**A/N **Okay hope you liked this chapter. Sorry in the delay, I really didn't know how to bring Jackson back. Finally they meet! Seriously! I'm sorry if it seems like it's too early for Jackson to come in.


	4. Reunion

**Chapter 4**

**Reunion**

"Jackson?" I stared at him, eyeing him up and down, and bit my lip.

He looked different. He no longer had the adorable long shaggy hair, but now has short hair. He became thinner, but muscular and his style seemed utterly different. He had a dark look following him, wearing a black band shirt and black pants. He looks… pretty hot I'll have to admit. Was his change because of what I did?

I stared at him, unable to take in the fact that my first love is standing right in front of me. It just seems unreal.

"How are you, wow I wasn't expecting to see you so soon." Jackson nervously said as he scratched the back of his head.

He started to fidget and I cold feel his eyes on me, studying me. I felt uncomfortable. I crossed my arms over my chest and stared at the handlebars of my cart. I just didn't know what to say, is this just another dream? I mean, I was hoping to see him, but this seems kind of… strange.

"Great." I spoke in a high and squeaky voice.

I felt so shy and embarrassed for some reason. Since when did I feel this way whenever I'm around Jackson? I mean just because I haven't seen him in over a year, broke his head by cheating on him, and having a baby with someone else. Yup, no reason to be embarrassed at all. Yeah right.

"Me too I-" He started, but the cashier interrupted us.

"Uh dude, you have to pay for this." The cashier pointed at the clear package of Jackson's groceries.

I looked to the side as Jackson went back to the cashier.

"Sorry." Jackson quietly said and once again gained my attention. "Lilly, can I borrow some cash, please? I'm a little short and I left my wallet back at Emily's."

So he's staying at Emily's. Maybe that's why Stephen didn't want me to go inside and some bullshit thing he said about Emily not wanting anyone to see the house when it's messy. I have to remind myself to yell at Stephen the next time I see him.

I took my wallet from my pocket and gave Jackson a 5 dollar bill. I looked at Jackson's groceries which consist of a pack of Monster energy drink, a bag of chips, candy, and a box of cigarettes.

_Cigarettes?_

Since when did Jackson smoke? He's legal, right, but I never thought he'd be stupid enough to smoke.

I handed Jackson the money and he paid the cashier. When he was done, he waited for me as I paid for my things. He followed me when I pushed my cart out to the parking lot and to my car he helped me load my trunk with the groceries without a word. He paused once he put the diapers in the trunk.

"So you kept the baby huh?" He asked.

I blushed and nodded. I took the cart once it was empty and pushed it to the side, parking it against a tree. I went back to the car with Jackson leaning against the car and I went next to him.

"What's the baby's name?" He asked and I crossed my arms.

"Her name is Lauren." I smiled and thought about Lauren.

"I see you're following your '_L_' tradition. Good to know that it's a girl and not a boy. She's probably as beautiful as her mother." He chuckled and I blushed.

Beautiful like her mother, where have I heard that before?

_Oliver…_

"Yeah, might as well not forget that you know?" I said and looked at his hands.

I tried to block what he said from my mind and focused on what he was holding. One was holding that box of cigarettes and the other just put his groceries were on the ground. I couldn't help but stare at it. Why would he smoke cigarettes?

I guess he noticed I was staring at the box in his hand and he slipped the box in his pocket. "I don't smoke if you think that I do." He said.

I formed an O with my mouth and turned away. Why am I even here talking to _him_? It just feels so awkward.

"Look, Jackson, why are you here? I mean Miley got to see you only once and you don't want hang out with your family. Why would rather hang out with your friends? Why are you here with me when you could go off and leave me alone?" I finally asked while taking a deep breath.

I stuffed my hands in the pockets of my jacket and Jackson moved closer to me with his shoulder pressing against mine.

"Cant I just talk to you without a reason? I mean, I haven't hung out around the house because I have a friend with me that's from Nashville." He said.

"Oh… sorry. Where's your friend?" I asked him as I looked around.

"You didn't see him? He was the guy that was next to me, but he left when we started to talk." Jackson shrugged and looked around the parking lot. It was still so empty. "And apparently he has abandoned me." He said looking at the exit at the parking lot

I looked at where he was looking and found a car that looked exactly like Stephens car driving out of the parking lot.

"You don't have to stay with me. You could run and catch up with him." I said as I removed my hand from my jacket and put it between us.

He laughed. "It's okay, I really don't care. I rather talk to you now, it's been too long." His hand went over mine and he lightly squeezed it.

My cheeks burned and I turned away from him. Get it straight Lilly, you're with Oliver, you can't let Jackson do this to you! I have Miley, Leah, mom, and Oliver, all of them worrying about me and I can't let…

I shook my head and pushed myself up from the car. I looked at Jackson and he stared at me. He softly smiled and I felt his thumb start rubbing the back of my hand.

"You've became even prettier from when I last saw you." Jackson stated and I blushed as I turned away. "Oliver must be treating you well." Jackson added, thus my heart dropped.

"I haven't changed at all." I said. Then again, my boobs have gotten bigger and I probably look older and even more tired, if that's what he calls pretty. "I'm still the same Lilly." I sighed and shook my head. "How's life? You know, school, Nashville, friends…"

"Great. My old friends remember me, which is a relief. Some of them are attending the same school as me. School is fun; I'll be able to graduate the same time as you and Miley. Are you going to public school next year?" He asked, he ran his free hand through his short hair and I sighed.

"Yeah, maybe. I don't know. I'm afraid people are going to judge me for what happened." I told him and he nodded.

"You should. I know you better than that and you don't usually care for what people think." Jackson squeezed my hand and felt better.

What happened to me? I don't know what happened to me. Everything by now seems so unreal and I don't want to think about the past. I'm supposed to accelerate, but here I am talking to Jackson as if nothing bad had happened between us. Sort of like before we started to be romantically involved. We'd have our casual talks and just do nothing.

"What's up with you and your new look?" I asked him and he laughed out loud.

"It was… I wanted to do this." He closed his eyes for a moment.

"I wanted a change and the only thing I could do was change the way I dressed and my hair. Do you like it?" He asked and put his hand to his shirt, looking at it.

He still held my hand and I couldn't really think straight. He's here next to me and he's holding my hand. Now he's asking me if I like his change in style. This is just too hard for me.

"You look good like that." I whispered and he smiled.

"So…" Head dropped to the ground and I watched him as his eyes fixed to a small rock on the ground. He kicked it and sighed. "Has Oliver been a good father to Lauren?"

"Yeah, he's a great father. You probably would have been a much better father though." I let myself slip out and I covered my mouth with my free hand.

Jackson dropped my hand and got up from my car. He placed both his hands on my shoulders and smiled. "I never forgot the promise Lilly." He sighed and traced the side of my neck with his thumb.

I dropped my hands to my side.

_Damn it Lilly._

I mentally slapped myself and kept my eyes locked with Jackson's. He shyly smiled at me and I felt my stomach flutter. It felt almost like when he was being sweet to me the first time we got together. That first kiss, that almost kiss, our first time, everything seemed to be hitting me at this moment and I felt so weak. I could give in any moment and close the gap between us.

_Don't fall for this; you have to push him away._

I tried to shake my head, but I found myself getting lost in his eyes. He stepped forward.

"I'm sorry." He whispered as his head slowly moved down.

_Stop this now Lilly, you have a baby at home, you shouldn't be doing this, not now! You love Jackson, sure, but you have to stop this, it isn't right!_

I chewed the insides of my mouth, but started to close my eyes as Jackson's face lowered even more.

Just then, a light flashed the both of us and I turned my head. A car pulled up behind Jackson and Jackson dropped his hands.

"Jackson you asshole, get in the freaking car!" The guy shouted and Jackson shook his head.

Wow, what a great _hello _from a friend.

"I'm coming RJ." Jackson shouted back as he rolled his eyes.

I looked back at Jackson and he had a saddened look on his face. "Sorry about that." He muttered under his breath and picked up his bag from the ground.

"It's okay. I'll see you soon." I forced myself to smile at him and he nodded.

"Definitely." He said and waved.

He turned around and took the pack of cigarettes from his pocket, throwing it to open window of the driver's seat. RJ, or who I assume is RJ, caught it and started hitting the pack against his hand.

RJ stared at me and winked. He had short blond hair, brown eyes, and seemed, well, stupid. I couldn't really see how he really looked like, but it seems like Jackson's taste of clothing was inspired by him. He smiled foolishly at me, as if he was trying to gain my attention and winked at me once again. I rolled my eyes and turned to my car and going to the passenger side.

I went inside and locked the doors. I took a deep breath and pressed my hands to my face.

_What the fuck was that?_

Seriously, it looked like he was going to kiss me, but why kiss me when he knows so many things between us have changed?

I tapped my finger against the wheel of my car.

When will this end?

Will I always be so weak whenever I see Jackson now?

What will happen the next time I see him? Would he kiss me then? Would I be able to push him off if he gets too close? Will I be able to hold back my feelings for him even if I'm dying to just come out and tell him that I'm still completely and utterly in love with him?

Ugh, who knew seeing him would make me feel even more confused than ever. I shoved the key in the ignition and started to drive out of the parking lot.

**A/N **How do you like that chapter? Hope it wasn't too off. Anyway hope you liked it :D

I was looking at some pictures of Jason and I was sort of looking toward how his hair was back in that band camp movie, but then there's this other picture on the net and he looked pretty good in it. I somewhat picture him like that, but older, definitely. Lol.

Oh man, I just got home from the Harry Potter Party at Borders and I wanted to post this before I read _Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows_. Happy reading to those of you who are reading the last book :D

**Kate: **Thank you and I know how you feel, trust me. Haha.


	5. Kisses Aren't Always Fun

**Chapter 5**

**Kisses Aren't Always Fun**

I got home in five minutes and that's all it took. I didn't care that I was speeding; I had to get home fast. I needed something to make me forget Jackson. I mean, who almost kisses someone at their first encounter after so many months?

Jackson does and it's so shocking.

He used to seem so shy and cute, but now he's so different. I felt incredibly shy, but with him, he made it like nothing bad has happened to me. He talked to me like we've been friends and that we never broke up. Something happened to him that made him change and I don't really like it.

When I got home, I noticed that Miley's car wasn't there, but in place of it was Oliver's car. He's home early.

I got out of the car and went to my trunk to get my groceries. I took a few bags with me, and walked to my house. The door was unlocked and I saw Leah in the living room.

"Leeaahh! Help pleaseee!" I shouted and walked into the kitchen, putting the groceries down. A few minutes later, Leah came in with the rest of the bags and she set them down on the counter. She then helped me put the things away.

"Must be hungry huh?" She asked and I shrugged.

"I just felt like going junk food today. I needed some things for Lauren and I knew Miley didn't know what to get and so I left." I said.

"I gave you my car and you abuse it by leaving Miley with Lauren." She shook her head. "When I got home, Oliver was here with Miley and Miley was telling us what happened. She seemed pretty scared." Leah sighed.

"I'm sorry, I-" I started, but Leah shushed me.

"Don't say sorry to me, say sorry to Oliver."

"Why should I say sorry to Oliver? He's never home and he's always working. I needed one day out, just for a few minutes." I said and she shook her head.

"They know that okay? You say it like you've been out for a few minutes, when you've been our for about an hour. You don't know how worried Oliver is." Leah came behind me and put her hands on my shoulders. "What took you so long?" She lightly squeezed it and I closed my eyes.

She didn't need to know what happened at the store. She didn't need to know about my almost kiss with my ex-boyfriend. All this has to be a secret and I don't want anyone to worry about me.

I went toward the counter, ready to put more things away in the fridge, cupboards, and drawers when Leah stopped me. I gazed up at her and she shook her head.

"I'll put the rest away, you go and see Oliver, he's pretty mad." Leah said and started to gather the dry products and put them in the cupboards.

I pursed my lips and sighed. I didn't want to see Oliver now either. If he knew I saw Jackson he would probably freak, maybe. He doesn't even know Jackson is back. Ugh, what do I do now?

I got out of the kitchen and stared at the stairs. Do I really want to know how Oliver feels about this? I never got him mad before and I'm really scared. I never really left Lauren home alone with anyone before and now that I do, I'm just afraid to see what he's going to do. Is he going to yell at me? Is he going to avoid me?

I took a deep breath and started to jog up the stairs. I finally reached the top step and I could see the opening of my door. I moved forward to see more of the room and saw Oliver's feet dangling from my bed.

I moved toward my room and then found Oliver asleep on the bed with Lauren right next to him, curled up in the fetal position. I smiled at the sight and felt guilty. I'm with Oliver, not with Jackson, but I know that if Jackson did make that move, I wouldn't push away. I would hold on tight and nothing can make me forget about Jackson.

I took of my jacket and put it aside, and walked toward the bed to carry Lauren. I cradled her and kissed her forehead. She moved a bit and her little hand went to cup her cheek. I walked over to a chair next to Laurens crib and sat there just thinking about everything.

I can't get obsessed over this, but I can't help it. A simple talk with Jackson with him almost kissing me. How can I make that happen? And then when he leaves again, I'm going to regret everything we did once again and have my heart broken. It doesn't even make sense on why he tried to kiss me. Ugh, this sucks.

My eyes darted to Oliver who was still sleeping.

I'm so confused and scared. I just don't know what to do at this point.

I sighed in frustration and got up from the chair. I better put Lauren down before I do something I wouldn't want to do. I went to the crib and gently laid Lauren on it, trying hard to not wake her up. I put my hands on the edge of the white wooden crib, staring at her.

"Lauren." I whispered and closed my eyes for a second. If only it was Jackson who came up that night then I wouldn't be in this situation. Oh god, I cant let the past catch up to me, even if it's hard.

I felt two big arms grasp onto my shoulders and I jumped. I whipped around and saw Oliver with his eyes narrowing to the baby.

"Lilly…" He said and I crossed my arms.

"I'm sorry." I whispered and he shook his head.

"Miley was freaking out when I got home. You're lucky I even came home early, if my boss didn't-"

"Don't raise your voice, you'll wake up Lauren." I looked to the side and then felt Oliver grasp onto my wrist.

I looked at him hand and soon Oliver started to pull at my arm, dragging me across of the hall and to the bathroom. He closed the door and locked it.

I put both my hands on the counter of the sink. Are we really going to have our first argument now?

I stared at the sink as I hear Oliver breath in deeply.

"Don't leave Lauren home alone with Miley anymore! Miley was freaking out; I mean if Lauren wasn't sleeping, I think Miley would probably freak out even more if Lauren was crying." Oliver shouted at me.

I winced and stared hard at the knobs of the sink.

"I needed to get some things for-"

He sighed loudly. "Which you could've waited until I got home! I could get everything, you just need to-"

"Oliver, I need to go out too! Just last week you were telling me I don't go out enough and now you're telling me I need to stay home? What is wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with me? I'm the one working my ass-"

I couldn't stand it anymore I hate yelling and I don't need this from Oliver. I hate that he's yelling at me now and I hate that I can't get my freaking mind straight now that I seen and talked to Jackson. I'm probably going crazy at this point.

I looked at him with my face feeling hot. My hands left the counter and I grabbed him from the shoulders and crashed my lips against his.

I didn't know what to say or do so I just kissed him.

I left my eyes opened and watched his face soften a little. He still hadn't kissed me back so I decided it was my time to make my escape. As I started to remove my lips from his, I felt Oliver take a step forward, putting his hands to my hips and press me back against the counter.

He finally responded to the kiss when I wanted to get away from the kiss. I started to push him away, but then his hands then moved from my waist to my hands, holding me in place.

I could feel my eyes water as I tried to get my hands out of his grasp, but he's too strong for me. His body hard against mind as he finally lifted his mouth from mine. He started to kiss my cheek and I turned my head. I breathed in deeply, unable to speak. I'm still a little shocked at how much Oliver is getting into this kiss. He soon started to kiss my exposed neck and I tightly shut my eyes.

Maybe this isn't bad, maybe this will help me forget about what happened between me and…

It finally hit me.

"Oliver!" I finally manage to gasp out.

I just can't do this anymore. I have to stop this now before I really go crazy. I can't lie to myself, I'm forcing myself to like this, but it's too hard to knowing that I was going to do this almost an hour ago with some other guy.

Oliver dropped my hands and started to back away from me.

He stared at me, wide-eyed, just shocked.

I wiped the few tears that managed to escape and looked away.

"Let's get out of here. Lauren might-" I started toward the door, but felt Oliver grasp on my wrist.

"I'm sorry." He said and I nodded.

"I'm sorry too." I whispered and walked out of the bathroom. Instead of going back to my room, I went down the stairs and into the kitchen where Leah started to eat a bowl of ice cream.

She looked up and spotted me and smiled. "Hey." She said.

Once I made it to her, I hugged her and pressed my face into her shoulder.

I don't know what to do. I can't face Oliver now that that thing in the bathroom happened, it's just so weird. I wasn't even expecting him to kiss me back and now I regret even leading him on like that.

Ugh, this is just too much for me.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

I felt her hands go to my shoulders and I sighed.

I had to tell someone about this story and Miley or Oliver didn't need to know about it. She can help me, I know she can, I just hope she wont tell me to do something I don't want to do. I want to see Jackson again, sometime soon hopefully, but I'm afraid that she'll forbid me to see him again. After all, while my mom is out and working, Leah is the one who is also helping me out with everything else.

"Leah, while I was out, I saw Jackson…" I started and then told her the story of what happened between me and Jackson and then what happened a few minutes ago with Oliver. Until now, I never knew life could get even more complicated.

**A/N **Sorry if this chapter sucks! Ah I hate how I made Oliver seem in this chapter… anyway, hope you liked this chapter. A LOT more coming up… as you can tell XP

And I'm SOOO Sorry for this chapter.

Next: Lilly's dreams are coming back…


	6. A Little Visit

**Chapter 6**

**A Little Visit**

I felt hands wrap around my waist and a hard body pressing against my back. I stood in my room, thinking I was alone, but I guess I wasn't.

I placed my hands over the hands, which I assumed belonged to Oliver, and got ready to push them away.

Then, I felt lips press against the nape of my neck, sending a shiver down my spine. I let a soft moan escape my lips as his tongue reached my sensitive spot on my neck as he lightly sucked on the skin.

My nails were digging into his hands as I bit my lip, refraining myself from letting off another moan. I was enjoying this way more then I should, which isn't good. I can't be doing anything like this anymore.

"Oliver, stop it." I softly said, but didn't want him to. I wanted more, I needed more.

"I'm-not-Oliver." The person simply replied between kisses.

I blushed and realized that it was _him_.

I let my hands fall, allowing my body to mold into his. His hands left my waist, playing with the material at the hem of my shirt. They guided themselves into my shirt as my breath hitched as he met the bottom of my bra.

"Jackson." My muffled voice said as a thumb slipped under the fabric.

"Shh…" He whispered as he let go of my waist.

I turned around with his thumb still hooked under the fabric and placed my hands on his shoulders. I tiptoed and our lips met, sharing a sweet and tender kiss.

His whole hand then slipped into my bra, caressing my breast as he deepened the kiss.

His tongue, sliding across my lower lip as I slowly opened my mouth, allowing him access. His warm tongue touched mine, making me moan in his mouth. His other hand went behind my neck, with his fingers slipping through my hair.

He stepped closer to me, pulling his lips away from me, staring deep into my eyes. He took another step forward with me stepping back until my back collided with the drawer. He kissed my cheek, trailing small kisses until he met my ear. He flicked my earlobe with his tongue with his hand moving away from my undergarment. It went around my waist as he held me close to his body.

"I only want you." He softly whispered with his lips touching the cartilage of my ear.

He lifted his face from mine, with his eyes twinkling and I nodded slipping my arms around his neck. Once again, his lips crashed against mine with his hands trailing down to the hem of my shirt. He pushed it up, and lifted his head once, pulling my shirt over my head.

With that, he slowly pulled away each article of clothing from mine as I did to his one at a time…

-------

My eyes shot open, breathing heavily from the dream. I shook my head too quickly and shot up, with me then going back down, feeling little dizzy.

Beads of sweat rolled down my cheeks as I finally relaxed with my hands on my face. These dreams, oh gosh, these dreams.

I sighed. I was feeling slightly aroused by the dream, I needed to relax and think about something else, I didn't want Oliver to think something was wrong with me if he saw me in this position now.

I looked to the ground, seeing that Oliver was still sleeping and swung my feet on the other side of the bed, getting up. I looked at the time and it blinked 5:30 AM. Oliver should be getting up soon to go to school.

I tiptoed to my closet, getting clothes from it and then got out of my room, crossing the hallway to my bathroom. I got in, shed my clothes off, and stepped into the shower while turning it on. Let the cold water hit me as I started shivering. The water started to get warmer and I hugged myself raising my face to the water.

God, there must be something seriously wrong about this. My mind is going crazy and here I am having these erotic dreams with Jackson again. First I have them with me dreaming that Lauren is Jackson's and then saying I don't love him or something and now I'm dreaming about him touching me… like my old dreams.

I turned around in the shower, letting the water hit my back.

I must be like a slut or something because this… is… almost like I'm cheating on Oliver when I don't intend to. I need to make this work, but each time I try to, everything gets even more complicated. Why can't I live a normal life?

I took the bar of soap and started to wash my skin.

I swear, next time I see Jackson; I'm going to stay as far away from him as possible. I'm not even supposed to see him. After what Leah said last night when I told her about my encounter with Jackson and Oliver kissing me, just everything and she said everything will be alright as long as I don't see Jackson.

How can I not see Jackson? I'm still practically in love with him, but then I'm with Oliver and we have a kid! What is the right thing to do?

I sighed, completely and utterly frustrated, and continued off with my shower, pushing my thoughts aside. I can't be worrying about Jackson or Oliver now. I have to be a mother first before I freak out completely about these two boys.

-------

Throughout the day, I fed, changed, and put Lauren to sleep. I set Lauren on my bed, as I lay next to her. I watched the infant breathing in and out as I thought to myself.

Oliver… Jackson… Oliver… Jackson….

Oliver is sweet and caring, a little too over protective, but Jackson he's almost all perfect. Jackson can sweet talk me into anything and Oliver… when he tries it's sad. Then again…

Ugh, when will I stop comparing the two? I was even doing this again? I'm with Oliver!

I furrowed my brows and closed my eyes; I think I feel a headache coming along.

I opened my eyes and stared at the baby once again.

"Jackson's not worth it. I have Oliver now, you're Oliver's little girl, not Jackson's" I softly told Lauren as I ran my finger along her tiny cheek.

"What would you do if she was mine?" I hear someone say.

I looked at the door and saw Jackson casually leaning against the door.

I quickly sat up and felt my cheeks flush.

"When did you get here?" I asked him and he shrugged.

"I have a key, I was going to knock, but I thought I would bother you. I thought that maybe… sorry, I should've knocked." He said and shook my head.

I got up from the bed and walked toward him. I placed my hand on his shoulder and softly smiled.

"It's okay, I get it." I sighed and he nodded.

"So this is Lauren." He stepped into the room and walked toward Lauren. His knees hit the bed and touched Lauren's little feet.

"Uh-huh." I replied and walked back to the bed, standing next to him.

"She's beautiful." He replied and I nodded.

"My baby…" I crossed my arms over my chest and stared at Lauren. She her arm moved with her covered hands rubbing against her cheek.

"Sorry for coming in like this." Jackson then said.

I nodded. "It's okay, I'm home alone with Lauren and I get lonely sometimes, you know?" I said and felt his hand go on my shoulder.

"Are you always lonely?" He murmured.

I slightly shivered as my dream that I woke up to started to come back to me, making me remember what he did and what I wanted him to do. I could feel my cheeks burning up again as I shrugged Jackson's arm from my shoulder, walking around the bed to the other side.

"Not really, Oliver's been here-"

"And yet he's always working."

I gawked at Jackson. "What are you implying?" I asked him and he shook his head.

"Nothing, I'm just… wondering if you miss anything you know?" He asked.

I knew exactly what he was saying. He's asking if I ever felt lonely without him. He wants to know if I miss him and what we had, but it's no use telling him I do. He's always like this, making me think things, assuming so much and I can't let him do this to me.

"So, have you ever… been with anyone while being in Nashville?" I asked him as he started to wander around my room. He walked over to the window, peering outside of it.

"A few, though, none of them worked out like how we… So anyway, what's up?" He casually asked as he touched the glass of the window.

"Nothing, just watching the baby." I replied and started to walk toward him. "So how is it like staying over at _Babylicious Kitten Face's_ house?" I asked while smirking.

He started to laugh. "_Babylicious Kitten Face_? Are you serious?" He turned his head, flashing me his irresistible smile, making my heart melt a little.

"What? I do recall you calling Emily that back when you were dating her." I winked at him and he laughed.

"Still, I can't believe you actually remember that." He shook his head. "I don't even know why she gave me the nickname effect when she doesn't even do that to Riley."

"How can I not remember that _Dimple Cheeks_." I walked up to him and smiled.

"Oh God, stop." He said while placing his hands on my shoulders.

"How can I not? It was adorable seeing Emily calling you those names." I was grinning like mad about now. I could laugh out loud, but I couldn't. I might wake up Lauren. "And to see that she's still with Riley is so cute!"

"Yeah, well, you didn't give me that treatment, which I'm really proud about. You don't know how bad I felt when she'd call me those weird names in front of people when we dated." His face now turning red.

_God, he looks so adorable right now. _I squealed in my mind.

"Well, because I knew you hated them. I wouldn't mind calling you _Baby Lips _or _Dimple Cheeks_ because I knew what they meant, but seriously, how did she come up with those names?" I asked. I needed to break the ice and I'm happy I did, even if it does feel a bit awkward.

"Ask her." He winked and leaned against the wall next to the window.

We stood there quietly once again and I sighed. Man, will the quietness ever go away?

"Have you-" He started.

"Where is-" I said, but shut up as we both spoke at the same time.

"What?" I asked and he shook his head.

"Nah, it wasn't important." His eyes drifted down, staring at the ground.

"Mine wasn't either."

"Have you told Miley you spoke to me yet?" He then asked and I shook my head.

"Don't okay? It would be weird if anyone found out I rather visit my baby sister's friend rather than my own family." He replied and

Yet again, I am his baby sister's friend. I guess he's trying to make things sound like how they were before we started dating.

"Okay." I awkwardly nodded and turned back, walking toward a shelf near the door.

"Lilly." Jackson said.

I turned my head to him and saw that he was walking toward me.

"What?" I asked and he stopped once he was standing next to me.

"Look…" His eyes drifted down.

I turned my body to him, staring straight at him as he sighed.

"I'm sorry for what I did last night." He said, but his face looked like he didn't want to say sorry at all.

"For what?" I asked and he lifted his eyes, staring at me.

He bit his lip, hesitating for a moment, and then started to move forward.

"What Jackson?" I asked as I courageously stepped forward, making the space between us grow smaller.

He shook his head for a second, but soon started moving forward once again with his face lowering.

"For almost doing this…" He said.

I knew what he was going to do and right about now, I could care less if I kissed him. My dream last night told me that I needed this, I wanted this, I practically wished for this, and here I am getting it.

I closed my eyes, waiting for Jackson to kiss me.

I felt his breath against my mouth about now and then I parted my lips.

"Lilly will you… Jackson?!"

My eyes snapped opened as I turned my head toward the door. There, Leah stood, staring at the both of us almost kiss.

"Uh, I should leave." Jackson said and I glanced at him as he blushed, scratching the back of his head. He walked toward the door, passing by Leah as Leah threw him a disgusted look.

I sighed and looked at Lauren and she still was asleep. I walked over to her, sitting down next to her when I felt a hand against my shoulder.

"What was that Lilly?" Leah asked and I shook my head.

"It was nothing, just drop it." I said with my eyes narrowing to the bed sheets.

"Nothing? How can it be nothing? I know I usually agree with you and for what you do, but you can do this Lilly. You're with-" She started and I whipped my head around, glaring at her.

"I know Leah, just drop it? I know I was going to make another big mistake if I kissed him, but I can't help it okay? I'm still in love with Jackson damn it." I said, trying to lower my voice, but I couldn't. My eyes started to cloud as I held back my tears. "You can keep me away from Jackson, sure, but I still haven't forgotten my feelings for him if you think I do." I snapped and then Lauren let out a soft cry.

I sighed and picked Lauren up from the bed.

"Lilly…" Leah said and I shook my head.

"I'm okay, Laurens okay, just go okay?" I asked, hoping she would listen to me. When I heard my door close, I sighed and held Lauren close to my body.

"Shh." I rocked Lauren from my seat.

"Damn it." I said under my breath and closed my eyes.

I know I wanted things to stop getting worse, but I think I just did make it worse for me just now. I almost let Jackson kiss me and now I want him even more then ever.

**A/N **Dang though, seriously, I feel so bad for Lilly. She's even more confused than ever.

I really am sorry for the late update, I wanted to finish a fic before school started and I start school on Thursday. I really am sorry. Anyway, hope you like this chapter!


	7. Early Confession

**Chapter 7**

**Early Confession**

I stood next to the window, looking outside of it. It had been almost three full days since I last saw Jackson and my dreams have been worse, or better. Either way, I'd wake up in the middle of the night feeling the need to relieve myself. How can two meetings make you feel like this? I'm just surprised Oliver hasn't said anything about this yet.

I've been cramped in this room, not talking to Leah because of my freaking outburst. Leah, on the other hand, has been trying to talk to me, but I just wouldn't. I can't face her and it's so irritating.

I mean seriously, I love Oliver, but I can't picture myself being married to him and having even more kids. I know if I do end up doing something with him again, I might regret it, like how I regret that night so much.

I mean how stupid was I to even think he was way better than Jackson. I was so delusional, drunk, and stupid Chantel, yes Chantel, was the one who slipped in the liquor in the drinks. When people found out about me carrying Oliver's baby, people started to talk about it and in the end a few people saw Chantel slipping the vodka in the punch bowl.

Damn my stupid mind. I'm a fucking teenage mother for heavens sake and I'm already cheating on my apparent boyfriend who I have no feelings for in any romantic way! Doesn't that tell you something?

I pulled away from the window and quickly glanced at Lauren. Even if I really don't want to talk to Leah right now, I have to. She's almost the only person in the world I can talk to about my problem and she knows that Jackson is here. I need someone to hear me out even if Leah might follow what my mom is saying about the whole, 'stay with Oliver' deal.

I walked out of the room and headed down the hall toward Leah's room. I approached Leah's room and knocked on the door three times.

"Leah?" I called and leaned against the door.

"Hold on."

I waited and when I heard the door knob turn, I got up from the door and smiled once Leah saw me.

"Hello big sister." I said.

She stepped aside so letting me in and she crossed her arms. I haven't been in this room since the day she gave me that make over last month. Wow, this is kind of weird.

"What do you want? You've been ignoring me for the past few days, and now you want to talk to me?" She asked rudely and I sighed.

"I'm sorry Leah." I fussed and turned on my heel, looking at her. Wow, that came out quickly. "I was stressed, confused, stupid, just everything." I apologized.

"Why talk to me now though?"

I looked down and chewed on my lip. "I need advice. I'm so sick of choosing between Oliver and Jackson and to me, I know being with Oliver is right, but I want to be with Jackson. It's so frustrating!" I walked over to her bed and sat down.

"Why are you feeling this way? I mean, I'll admit, I want you to be with Oliver, but why the sudden change in guys? You seemed pretty happy with Oliver; I mean I saw him kiss you a few times-"

"On the cheek, never on the lips, until recently that is." I cut in.

"But still, you were happy until Miley brought up the whole, 'Jackson's back' and when I saw you and Jackson the other day, it just seemed too _weird_." She replied, looking quite dazed.

"How is it _weird_?" I asked and watched as she walked around the room, standing right in front of me.

"Weird in the sense that I never saw you look at anyone like _that _in a long time." She said. "You've never looked at Oliver like _that _and it makes me think that maybe you really aren't lying about still loving him." Leah softly replied.

"What do you mean by _that_?"

"Like, even happier. You looked like how you did before you had that thing happen between you and Oliver."

"Well, I did tell you I still love him. Fuck Leah, even now I'm craving for him and it's just not normal! Plus, it's so frustrating with everyone telling me to be with Oliver. I can't do this." I finally broke out and said. I got up from her bed and I started to walk out of the room. Leah followed me as I walked into my room.

"It's too hard for me." I glanced at Lauren and walked toward the window. "I'm complaining about this each day and I'm depressed." I looked over at Leah who went to Laurens crib and carried her out of it.

"I don't know what to day to you, but seriously, I think you should take a break with all of this." She said.

"But how can I? I have to take care of Lauren and-" I started, but Leah shook her head.

"No, I'll take care of her. I've been helping you for the past 3 months and I think I can handle taking care of one baby by myself, plus its good practice for the future." Leah said.

"But-" I started to raise my voice, but Leah put a finger to her lips.

"No Lilly. Go out, take a walk, do something, but come back home until I call you or something bad happens." She whispered..

I leaned against the window and glanced out side. There, I saw a black car pull up in front of the house. A person got out of the car and I tilted my head, squinting my eyes, and saw that it was Jackson. He leaned against his car and looked up to me. I watched him as he waved at me, signaling for me to go downstairs.

I looked back at Leah who seemed to be occupied with Lauren as she woke up.

What do I do now? Jackson just magically appears when I tell Leah how I feel about Jackson and Oliver. I want to go and talk to him, tell him I'm sorry, but what else do I do? I should go out, like Leah says I should. She wouldn't care and its not like I'm running away from home and Lauren. I should go and see Jackson.

"Leah, I'm going out for a bit." I find myself saying. My hand flew to my mouth and she quickly glanced at me, flashing me a smile.

"That's it. Go out for as long as you want, just keep your phone with you." She smiled.

I went into my closet, changing out of my pajama bottoms and top and into pants and a shirt. I tied my hair up in a high ponytail and got my phone from my desk. I walked over to Leah, only to kiss Lauren on the top of her head and got out of the room in a rush.

----

I got out of the house and hastily walked toward Jackson. He smiled once he saw me and got off the car.

"What are you doing here?" I asked as I stopped in front of him.

"Someone told me you needed to relax and asked me to come. They knew that if I come, you would definitely get out of the house." Jackson smirked and looked back up at the house.

I glanced up and there at the window of my room and noticed Leah looking through the window, looking down at us.

Mental note in my head: _Remind self to tell Leah I love her!_

"Oh." I grinned and Jackson shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Get in. We could talk." He said and walked past me, going to the driver's side of the car.

"Where are we going?" I asked him and he smiled.

"Somewhere."

"Somewhere as in..." I questioned while raising an eyebrow.

"Just trust me okay?"

He entered his car and I stared at the car, thinking twice about it. What if he tries to kiss me again? What if he wants to get back together? What am I going to do if he tries to make a move on me? Seriously, I'm just confused.

Screw it. I'm going to talk to him. I need to clear everything up before its too late.

I got inside the car and as soon as I put on my seat belt, Jackson started his car and drove off.

----

After driving for 15 minutes, we made it to the beach, where Jackson parked his car and got outside. I stared at him, a little confused, and followed him out of the car. He slowly walked, getting on the beach, and I went next to him. I just followed wherever he was going and there, he walked toward a log, facing the beach, and sat down. I sat down next to him and looked around, realizing where we were.

We were at the one spot where he would always find me sleeping. The one time it was raining and we had that close encounter, almost kissing for the first time; it was around here. That day when the guy tried to hook up with me, it was the same place where Jackson found me. He knew I liked this place to think about anything, but why bring me here now?

If he wanted me to think about something, then he shouldn't be here at all. Especially since my main topic to think about is Jackson and Oliver.

"You must be so confused in why I brought you here." He said as if he read my mind.

I smiled. "Yeah, I have. I don't know why you would bring me here Jackson. You confuse me, especially with that last visit." I put my elbows on my knees and cupped my face.

"Yeah. I just wanted to talk."

"That's what you said the last time." I looked at him and he smiled at me.

"Well it is true." He sighed. "For some reason, I just want to hang out with you. I've talked to Miley more and she finally forgave me, but for you, it seems different. I would rather see you than anyone else and you're probably going behind Oliver's back with all of this." Jackson said.

I nodded. "This is something I won't share with Oliver. He has too much to worry about."

We sat there with awkward silence crawling back over us. Why will it always be this awkward between us? Seriously, I just want it to go back like how it was a long time ago, before all this drama happened.

"Lilly?" Jackson said.

I turned my head to him, seeing that he was slouched down, staring into the sand. His face looked soft and worried with his closed. His hands were on his knees, holding onto his knees. He looked… well… confused, kind of like me.

"What?" I asked in a puzzled tone. I just wanted to reach out and touch his hand. I wanted to talk to him, ask him what's going on between us. I want to tell him that I still love him, but right now it just feels like everything between us hasn't even happened.

"I'm sorry for the trouble I caused you a few days ago. I'm sorry for everything I did to you and for almost kissing you those past two times." He sighed, opening his eyes. "It's not me."

"Look, its okay Jackson, you don't need to say sorry, I'll admit, I almost wanted to feel you kissing me again." My cheeks felt hot as I admitted this.

His lips slightly curved upward, but he shook his head. "But you know we can't do this. You're with Oliver and you have a baby; I don't want to be the one who ruins the relationship you have with Oliver."

"I don't care Jackson, my heart never forgot about you." I found myself saying. "I can't… forget about you. What we had was special and-"

"Lilly, just don't say it." He let out a shaky breath. "It's going to make it harder for me to try and not think about our past." He shook his head.

"Do you want to forget about it?" I asked him, dropping my hands from my face and sat up.

"No, no way." He said as soon as I could say anything else. "That is the last thing I want to do."

"Then what?" I could feel my eyes sting.

God, Lilly you can't cry. Just hold it back damn it. I shouted to myself, but couldn't hold it back.

Jackson isn't making any sense at all, what does he want from me? He steps into my life once again and almost kisses me twice. Does he not care what this whole experience is making me feel? And I thought Jackson was a caring guy, but no, he's not. It's like he's trying to go back to his own cocky stupid self he was before we dated.

"Was what we then have nothing to you? You say you kept your promise that you didn't forget me but-"

Just as I was about to say something I would most likely regret, Jackson lifted his hands from his knees, putting them on my cheeks, and crashed his lips into mine.

**A/N **Hope you liked this chapter!

Lol I was rereading Dreams and there wasn't supposed to be a kiss in here, but I couldn't help it. Sorry if it seemed a bit early.

I just realized chapter 7 is always the chapter with things happening. In Dreams was Jackson and Lilly's first time, in Nightmares it was kinda like the beginning of the drama and here, well, lol.

Well, I would like to say is that there will be slower updates since I started school. I'm a teacher's assistant for one of my classes and it's a computer class so I could get some writing in during that period after I finish correcting papers. Sorry about this, I really am. If you want anything to happen in here, don't hesitate to suggest anything ;) haha.


	8. Catching Up

**Chapter 8**

**Catching Up**

My eyes went wide from what Jackson was doing. He held onto my cheeks, not letting go, but putting all into this kiss. Before I knew what I was doing, my eyes slowly closed as a hand went around his neck, allowing our bodies to get closer. I started to kiss him back and soon his grip loosened, with his hands trailing down my neck and to my back.

The kiss, so familiar and missed; it just feels so good to kiss him again. How long I've wanted to kiss his perfect and lips, how much I missed being held by him like this, it's just so… heart warming.

As he lifted his lips from mine, the first thing that escaped my lips was "Wow."

I slowly opened my eyes, finding Jackson staring down at me. His lips formed a tight line and he still held me close. He dipped his head, kissing my cheek, moving to my other cheek, then to my forehead, and to my chin. Lastly, he kissed my nose and I softly sighed.

"Jackson." I warned, but only to feel Jackson's lips against mines once again.

This is so wrong, but it felt so right. I want this, I need this, but I can't do this.

I pulled away, breathing heavily; I looked down, closing my eyes as I caught my breath. I one of Jackson's hands remove from my back and to my cheek, pushing my face upward to meet his eyes.

"What's wrong?" He asked and I shook my head.

"We can't do this. We can't kiss… you said earlier-"

"What I said earlier…" His other hand rose, only to stroke my hair. "You're right." He sighed, closing his eyes.

"All of this is wrong, even for me." He whispered.

"Yeah." I said, feeling my chest ache.

I slightly hoped he wouldn't say anything like that. I wanted him to say something like he didn't care about it and just kiss me again, but who am I kidding? Jackson, he's just too sweet and innocent to do that, now.

"Oliver must be a lucky guy." Jackson said as he stood up. He started to walk and I got up walking with him, but at a slower pace. "He's with a beautiful girl who is even faithful to him."

"Jackson-" I said, but Jackson shook his head.

"Look, it's my loss. I should've known this was going to happen." He stopped walking. "I kissed you because I wanted to see if we still had that feeling we had every time we kiss."

I stared at the back of his head, shocked at what he was saying. Kiss me to see if we still had the feeling? Does that mean that he's also confused with how he feels about me?

"I'm stupid, I know. Oliver did that to you too huh? Your feelings probably changed throughout the year. I guess it is too late." He forced a laugh and I shook my head.

"What-"

"And to think that I go to college, practically waiting, it's so-"

"Jackson." I hissed.

I took a hold of his arm with him looking down at me. He instantly stopped what he was saying and I went on my tiptoes, pushing myself up, kissing him.

"You shouldn't say anything like that when you could be wrong." I replied as soon as I pulled away.

Just as he was going to say something else, my phone started to ring. I took my phone from my pocket and held the phone against my ear as I answered it.

"Hello?"

"Where are you?" It's Oliver.

"I'm out for a bit, I took a walk. What's wrong?" I asked him suddenly feeling guilty.

Just a few seconds ago, I kissed Jackson, and now I'm talking to my supposed boyfriend. Can this get even more stupid?

"I was just wondering where you were. I thought you'd be home and when I saw Leah with Lauren, I got worried. Are you coming home soon?" He asked.

"Yes Oliver, I'm coming now." I said and quickly hung up, shoving my phone in my pocket.

Why do things like this always have to ruin the right moment?

"That was-" I said as I turned to Jackson.

"Oliver, I know. We should go back." Jackson said, monotone.

There was no expression left on his face though I think he felt bad, more like sad. It's like I want to please Jackson, make him happy, I mean I'm already happy talking to him right now, but with that conversation with Oliver for that one moment brought me back into reality and I can't do anything to make this work.

I sighed and followed him back to his car without a word. As we drove home, we still sat, and it felt like everything we did was erased because of that one phone call.

When we got home, I got out of the car, but before closing the door, I looked inside. Jackson was staring up at me with a soft smile playing on his lips.

"Come over tomorrow." I told him.

"Why?"

"I'm home alone and…" I started and his smile grew.

"Okay, I'll see you then."

I closed the door and watched him as he drove off. I shoved my hands in my pockets, walking up to the porch and opened the door. I walked into the living room, only to see Oliver there, watching the TV.

"Hey." I said and sat down next to him.

He put his arm around my shoulder and kissed my cheek. "What did you do today?"

"I just walked around with a friend." I softly said with my heart beating like crazy. I was afraid that Oliver would ask or know what happened. I'm not really good at lying.

"Okay. Good to know you're out having fun." He said and I looked at what he was watching.

The only thing that ran in my mind was that Jackson is coming over. I wonder what other stuff he may try on me tomorrow.

-----

I sat on the couch in the living room waiting for Jackson while watching Lauren. She seemed a little cranky today and she kept on crying for some reason, which is kind of hard for me. She could pick any other day for her to get all angry, but she had to pick this one day I have Jackson to hang out with.

I sighed while rocking Lauren, trying to get her to fall asleep, but it wasn't working. She kept on crying and I even tried to feed her, breast feed at that, but it didn't work either.

"Come on Lauren." I said as I walked over to the window, peaking through the curtains, seeing if Jackson was here yet, but he wasn't.

I looked back at Lauren and sat down on the couch. She calmed down a little, but only so little. I tightly shut my eyes and leaned back into the couch. She calmed down a little more and I sighed, putting her on my stomach and chest, wrapping my arms around her. Her face was turned to the side with her head pressing against my chest with her eyes slowly closing. Her sobs slowed down only to come in soft breaths.

I sighed and leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on the top of her head.

"Nice sight."

I lifted my eyes from Lauren and looked at the entrance of the room seeing Jackson. I weakly smiled at him and with a hand gestured him to come and sit down.

"Sorry for just coming in again. I didn't want to bother the baby." He softly said as he sat down next to me.

I looked at him wondering what his next move was going to be, but all he did was stare at Lauren on my stomach. He lifted his hand up, moving it toward the baby, and placed it on her back.

"She's…" He sighed and caressed her back.

"You want to carry her?" I asked.

His eyes lit up and he smiled. "Can I?"

I nodded and carefully removed the baby from my stomach, cradling her in my arms. Jackson positioned himself with his arms out and I put Lauren down in his arms. I took a step back as I watched Jackson smile down at Lauren.

He's taking this even better than Oliver did when he first carried Lauren. Oliver was trembling the first time he carried Lauren, but Jackson acted as if he done this a million times.

I stomach started to act up and I felt like my insides were about to burst. I needed to pee, but would Jackson be alright with Lauren alone?

I nodded. It would only be for a minute or so, so I should go and if he needs help, he could always go upstairs.

"Hey, I'll be right back." I told him and he nodded.

I turned from the living room and started up the stairs to go to the bathroom.

-----

When I got back into the living room, Jackson put Lauren on the couch with pillows in either side of her so that she wouldn't fall off the edge of the couch.

"Hey you." I said and he glanced at me smiling.

"Hey, I put her down, if that is alright." He said, standing from the couch.

"Yeah, it's always alright." I said and walked toward the couch, going to the spot where Lauren was sleeping, and saw she was comfortable. I sighed and sat down on the ground and pressed my back against the couch.

Jackson sat on the ground next to me and crossed his legs.

"What are you doing?" I asked, turning a part of my body so I could see him better.

"I'm sitting next to you." He smiled while running his long fingers through his short hair. He scooted a little closer to me until out knees bumped and I jumped a little.

"So this is what you do on your free time huh?" Jackson lifted his arm to the couch and cupped his face while looking at me.

"Uh-huh, but you get used to it." I nodded while expressing a small smile.

Sometimes it feels like the only things we can do to each other is smile and it's kind of irritating. I want more than just a smile here and there, but I guess that's what you get when you have something that's keeping you from doing something stupid. In my case, I have Lauren, but she's far from stupid, yet again I have Oliver so that makes it two times worst.

I let out a loud sigh and I pressed my head against the pillow behind my head which was shielding Lauren from falling.

"How do you not get bored?" I hear Jackson say.

"Umm, there's always the internet in my room when I go up there, but the TV also keeps me occupied, just cant listen to it loudly." I lifted my head and glanced at Jackson.

"Oh man, the internet sucks. Miley, throughout my time in Tennessee, she'd email me about 5 times a day or so. It gets tiring but it's good knowing that she misses me." He smiled.

"I recall something bad happening when you were checking your email here." I winked at him, with him softly laughing.

"Yeah, I remember." He shook his head.

"Yup."

"Lilly?"

I raised my eyebrows. "Yeah?"

"Why do we always bring up past relationships when we don't even talk about our own?" He questioned, but his cheeks grew a bright rosy color.

"Well…" I started, but soon he shook his head.

"I mean I don't mind it because of all the things we went through, but I'd like to clear a lot of things before we move on with our lives." He said carefully showing not much emotion in his face, "That last day didn't exactly do anything and I just want to talk about it," His forehead creased as if he was thinking hard about it, but then he sighed loudly. "But its okay if you don't want to."

"I…" I thought fort a second. I don't know how to answer this.

Talking about our past and everything is going to seem even scarier than it is now. I don't want anything bad to be brought up if we do talk about our past. I mean we can't exactly just jump in bed when we want to, we don't have that much freedom now. We're not even like that anymore. We can't be like that.

"Look, I understand this might be a little-"

"-maybe later." I cut him off.

He nodded. "Okay; let's talk about something else."

"So, what are we doing?" I asked and he shrugged.

"You invited me over so I thought you would know."

"You're weird." I shook my head and moved my legs to pull them up to my chest.

"So…" Jackson said and I watched him as his eyes studied my body. His eyes started from my feet, to my knees, and then stopped at my hands which were on my knees. "You're not-" He shook his head.

"What?" I asked, pulling my hands from my knees and looking at them. I didn't see what the problem with my hands was, they looked fine.

I glanced back at Jackson as he just smiled at me as if nothing was wrong.

"Jackson, will you stop the happy act? It's getting annoying. I know for a fact that you're not always that happy so just tell me what I'm not or whatever." I creased my forehead and gave him a fake angry look.

He chuckled. "Fine, it's just, you're not wearing that bracelet I gave you." He said.

"My bracelet?" I questioned and then realized what he was saying.

The bracelet.

What he gave me the last day he was here. It was his form of commitment to give me before he realized that I had cheated on him. This was just like the necklace, but this was him telling me that he really _did _care for me, but I screwed everything up. Damn.

I sighed. "You can't exactly wear jewelry when you're taking care of a baby 24/7."

"Oh."

I smiled and looked at him. "But I've been using my necklace."

His face lit up and I took the necklace that was hidden beneath my clothes. I rested it on my chest, letting my finger press onto it for a second and then let it go. It was the only thing I could and wanted to wear. Oliver couldn't see it because it was always hiding under my clothes so he didn't exactly know I had it on, but yeah, I always wear it.

"That's… good." He murmured and suddenly reached to touch it.

He held it with his forefinger and his thumb, letting it drop to the center of my chest and then ran his finger up along the chain. Once he reached my neck, he stroked my neck before moving up to caress my cheek. He leaned forward, softly placing his lips over mine, bringing me into a slow and sensual kiss.

I covered my hands over his on my cheek and closed my eyes as I leaned into the kiss. After a few seconds of the kiss, he pulled away and cupped my face with both his hands. He looked deep in my eye and I could still feel his breath lingering on my lips.

"I-" He started, but was interrupted with the door opening and a shout coming from the door.

"Lilly I'm home and I know Jackson is here so stop whatever you're doing before I see something I don't want to see." I hear Leah say.

I giggled and Jackson rolled his eyes, pulling away from me. He sat next to me and soon Leah's head popped up into the living room.

A wide grin spread formed on her lips as soon as she saw us.

"So what did I miss?"

**A/N **I hope you liked this chapter!

I guess you could say that in the next chapter, that's where some drama will happen, maybe. What do you think would happen? lol.

I was listening to the High School Musical 2 soundtrack lol and there's this Troy and Gabriella break up song and it kinda made me think of something that happens in this fic lol. It's not like you all care lol, but I just thought I'd like to share that fact. HSM2 soundtrack sounds way better than the first one. There's this hilarious song Sharpay sings which is kinda about the state fish of Hawaii and it made me laugh so much.

Anyway, any Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse readers? I'm reading Eclipse right now and I'm only on page like, 143 _only _because I've been really busy with school and I so love it. I love Edward XD


	9. Getting Closer, Or Not

**Chapter 9**

**Getting Closer, Or Not  
**

The day Lauren kept on crying, she got a fever which then I had to give her a lot of attention. Jackson started coming over everyday for that whole week, helping me take care of Lauren. While Lauren is sleeping, Jackson and I talk about everything and our relationship has been building up. We would share small innocent kisses here and there, but never anything too drastic as in going all the way.

We've been talking a lot though, about the past and what not. It kind of felt nice and he knew we couldn't talk about our past just yet. I still was uncomfortable with it and it just didn't seem reasonable to.

It's been two weeks since Jackson started coming over and everything seemed okay now. I kind of think I'm ready to talk to him about our past, but I really don't know. I might in the end cry on about it or something which is scary. I don't want him to feel uncomfortable around me, like how it was when we first met this month.

"Do you think we can talk?"

I was in my bedroom, checking on Lauren when Oliver came in. He wore his work clothes and he looked tired, but he seemed eager to take me outside. I wonder why.

"Rest, we could talk later." I told him and he shook his head.

He ran his hands through his dark thick hair and came toward me. He went next to me and took a hold of my arm.

"I think we should talk now. Leah can watch Lauren for now and it's not like Lauren's sick anymore. She can go an hour without you." Oliver assured me and I sighed.

I nodded and Oliver s hand went from my arm to my hand, lacing his fingers with mine, and pulled me toward the door.

He shouted for Leah and she came out of her room in seconds.

"Do you think you can watch Lauren? I need to talk to Lilly for a bit." He smiled.

Leah had a worried look on her face as she stared at me. I shrugged and shook my head while she nodded.

"Okay,"

Oliver pulled me down the stairs and out the door. I had no clue whatsoever with what he wanted to do or bring me. When will the guy ever stop being so mysterious? I miss the old him when he used to be Mr. Donut boy, but now he's just over protective and too busy to notice that he has changed.

I sighed and soon he slowed down once we reached the sidewalk. He still held onto my hand as we continued to walk, I guess it's one of those "walking" days.

"What did you want to talk about?" I questioned, gazing up at him.

"I don't know, I just wanted to have some alone time with you I guess." He replied softly. I squeezed my hand on his and stepped closer to him.

"You know, we've always been alone together." I told him.

"Yeah, but Lauren is always there." He grinned.

"And whose problem is that?" I sarcastically said, making him laugh.

"Hello my dear, remember who was the one who pulled the person in the room in the first place?" He fought back.

I rolled my eyes. "Gosh, sorry." I replied and sighed. "You know, sometimes I wonder if you're really you or you're just someone else."

"What do you mean by that?" He asked.

"Well." I stopped walking and he turned to look at me. "You changed a lot." I shrugged. "You're not the same Oliver I used to know." I looked to the ground while biting my lip.

I needed to tell him about how he's acting now before I regret it. It really is bothering me in how he's acting now and I really do miss the old Oliver. The old Oliver used to joke around with me and be just friendly. He used to not care about anyone else, and he wasn't as strict as he is now. All he cares about is his work, school, and Lauren, and it sometimes feels like he doesn't even care that I'm there. He doesn't even know how much his change is affecting me and it's getting to me in a bad way.

"The Oliver you used to know is still here, he's just… lost and confused." Oliver pursed his lips, and took my hands. "You know, I'm not the perfect guy and I'm not the best father figure and it's hard."

"You want to know how I feel? I'm always locked up and I need freedom too. I'm with the baby 24/7 and at least you get to go out and see your friends. You see everyone all the time and it makes me depressed." I snapped.

Ugh, this is getting to me and I didn't want to make this walk seem too hard. I could feel my anger rise even if there is no reason to get mad over this situation. I don't know why I'm starting to get mad all of a sudden, I guess it's because he expects me to be like the house wife when I'm only 17. I'm too young to be like one of those ladies and I can't believe I'm actually thinking this, but Leah is right.

"So you want to go out more?" He asked.

"Yes I want to go out more. Is that bad?" I asked while putting my hands to my hips and taking a step forward.

"No, no." Oliver put his hands out in front of him just between us. "Lauren is only 4 months Lilly; do you think she'll be able to not have her mother for a night or something?"

"Well, you're her father, you can take care of her too, plus Leah's taking care of her right now. You've done that and I wont be out too long, just a few hours, I just miss the old days." I assured him and put my hand on his shoulder. "I'm a teenager who needs to get out more, is that too much to ask?"

"No, of course it's not. We just have to think things through." He sighed and then started to walk.

We walked in quietness again and I saw that we were approaching Emily's house. Its a few houses away and I still hadn't seen the inside yet. I wonder if anyone's in that house. If there were people in there, then that mean Jackson's there and if Jackson's there then Oliver would know that Jackson's there and…

My eyes widened and I stopped in my tracks. I took a hold of Oliver's sleeve, tugging on it, and hoped he wouldn't walk any further.

Oliver looked over his shoulder at me and smiled. "What?"

"Can we go back? I want to make sure Lauren is alright." I lied; I knew Lauren is perfectly fine. If she wasn't then Leah would call.

"She's alright; Leah knows what she's doing." Oliver grinned and shrugged my hand from her shoulder. He started to walk again and I sighed loudly.

This is getting very frustrating. I took a hold of his hand, pulling him back, and stared hard at him. He looked back at me with his brows furrowing.

"What?"

"Please?" I begged and looked passed him, seeing someone crossing the lawn from Emily's house. I squint my eyes, seeing that it was Jackson and I started to grow anxious.

"Come on, we've been out for only a few minutes. You told me you wanted to go out and here we are." He sullenly replied.

I pursed my lips and looked from Oliver and back to Jackson. Jackson saw us and is now heading toward us. We have to go back home. Now. Before Jackson comes here and interacts with Oliver.

"Oliver." I pressed on and frowned.

Why must this feel so awkward?

Oliver sighed and took a hold of my hand. He interlaced our fingers together, only to pull me toward him. "Fine." He said and raised my hand.

I looked at him and he pressed his lips against the back of my hand. My breathing hitched up and I looked back at Jackson who was now getting closer. What the hell is Jackson doing? Does he not know that if Oliver sees him, I might not be able to _ever _talk to him?

I pulled my hand away from him and started to walk the opposite way from Jackson. I looked at the corner from my eye, seeing Oliver following me. Good, just hope that Jackson gets the message that I don't want him to talk with Oliver at all.

Please let Jackson be smart and walk away! I begged in my mind as we walked.

"Oliver, Lilly, wait!" I could hear Jackson shout.

I tensed up and shut my eyes as I stopped walking.

Damn it Jackson!

"Huh?" Oliver said.

I turned to look at Oliver and saw that he too stopped walking. He was now turning around to see Jackson running over toward us. Great.

"Jackson?" Oliver asked, puzzled.

I chewed on my lower lip as I started to feel even more nervous. Ugh, seeing your apparent boyfriend and your almost boyfriend interacting is just weird. It's like you can't feel anything but guilt and right now, I really hate Jackson for doing this to me. Ugh, I swear, tomorrow, when he comes over, I am going to yell at him.

"Dude, how are you?" Jackson jogged toward us and went straight to shake Oliver's hand.

"Good, what are you doing here?" Oliver asked. I went beside Oliver and he securely took my hand, pulling me closer to him. I sighed and smiled at Jackson.

"I've been here for a while now actually. Summer and all." Jackson smiled and looked at me.

I blushed under his gaze, only to look down and move closer to Oliver. I didn't want Oliver to seem too insecure with Jackson there. Oh boy, this is confusing.

"Oh well, I'll see you another time then? I have to get home, you know, I have to see if _our _baby is alright with Leah." He tightened his grip on my hand.

I rolled my eyes. I could definitely tell that Oliver wants to point out that I am his and not Jackson's anymore. Why must boy's always compete with what is theirs?

"Oh yeah! Well, see you soon!" Jackson started waving and Oliver and I turned around to go back toward our house.

I stared at Oliver whose face had no emotion on it. It was hard to read him now and I didn't know if he felt worried or nothing at all. He just kept a straight look on his face all the way back home and once we reached the front door, he pulled me to the side and stared deep into my eyes.

I blinked my eyes at him as he squinted his eyes at me. I sighed and shook my head. Just as I was about to get away from Oliver's grasp, he quickly kissed me and then let me go.

For some reason, I feel like things are going to get even worse now that Oliver knows that Jackson is here.

-----

The next day, I patiently waited for Jackson in the living room while Lauren stays asleep on the couch. Sometimes I think I should really try to get Lauren's sleeping in order. She shouldn't be sleeping all day and awake all night, crying. It's hard on all of us especially since Oliver has school the next day.

I hear a knock come from the door and I knew that it was Jackson. Jackson knocks on the door, only when he didn't have his key to the house. I got up from my seat and went to the door, opening it.

"Hey!" Jackson said, smiling

He stepped into the house, and as soon as I closed the door, I punched him hard on his shoulder. Jackson whipped around, looking at me and gasped.

"Ow!"

"That's what you get for being a dick!" I hissed and walked passed him and into the living room. I took my spot on the ground and he went to sit next to me.

He came up to Oliver when we were taking our walk yesterday and Oliver acted so weird afterward. That night, Oliver would ask me what I would do when I finally go out and my answer was to _hang out with Miley_ when it really is to hang out with Jackson with the time we have.

So here I am stuck with many duties and it's all so confusing. I'm a confused girl and my life is confusing period. I just want everything to go back to normal, is that too much to ask?

"Come on, I just wanted to see what Mr. Oken would do and he did exactly what I wanted him to do!" He said and smiled. He nudged my shoulder and scooted closer to me bringing only a few inches between us.

"And you should've seen him afterward. He became all protective and he even kissed me." I rolled my eyes and pulled my legs up to my chest. "I seriously hate it when he gets like that."

"You don't like his kisses huh?" Jackson questioned and tilted his head while staring at me.

I felt my cheeks turn hot. "You're pathetic." I remarked and stuck my tongue at him.

"So I take that as a _yes, you hate his kisses_." He smirked and I shook my head.

"Can we not talk about Oliver and kissing, seriously it's just too weird." I told him and leaned against the couch. I let my legs drop to the ground and Jackson laughed.

"Well, what would you rather talk about? Kissing me?" He questioned.

Before I could answer, Jackson leaned over and kissed me. Instead of putting his hand on his usual place on my cheek, he places it on my waist. I slightly shook my head and put my hands on his chest, pushing him away from me.

There's no way I'm going to let him kiss me now. I want to torture him before I let him do anything to me today. He deserves that for talking to Oliver and I know I may be over reacting over it, but he should never do that to me again. I smirked.

He frowned and pouted. "Come on Lilly."

"Ugh, you know, now that Oliver knows you're here, he's going to be suspicious in why I even asked him for more freedom?" I slapped his shoulder.

"Lilly, will you just relax and loosen up a bit." He took the time and with his hand on my waist, pressed his fingers against it, running it up my sides.

I shivered and shook my head.

"How can I relax? I'm still scared to even think about what Oliver is thinking, now that he knows that you're here." I let out a shaky breath, enjoying the sensations Jackson is making me feel.

"Well, last day I was here, he seemed pretty okay with our last _talk_. He knew how you felt then, how do you know that it changed now?"

"That was before, now he's different. With Lauren, he makes it like I'm his everything when I know that he doesn't love me like that. We have an untrue relationship and it's stupid." I sighed in frustration. "If only our parents know that our relationship isn't like that at all. Leah is the only one that understands what's going on and its frustrating that no one else knows."

"If they knew, then you could be with me right?" Jackson suddenly brought up.

I blushed and stared hard at him. "I… don't know." I replied.

He smirked and leaned in, nuzzling my neck. "What we have now is not good… I know, but for some reason, I just can't keep away from you." He then said.

I blushed even harder. How is it that someone like him knows exactly what a girl wants to hear when they're having a bad day? And I'm supposed to be mad at this idiot, but he's making me feel so… different.

I sighed and put my hand on his head, petting it. "Come on Jackson; don't say anything you don't mean."

"What if I do mean it?" He then asked.

Before I could answer him, his hands running up from my waist then pressed against my side, tickling me. I jerked with my eyes widening. I gasped and put a hand over my mouth, trying to keep quiet as my other went to Jackson's shoulder, trying to push him away from me. I tried to laugh as softly as I could, but my fits of laughter came loudly when he hit my most ticklish spot. I went down on the ground and gasped for air as Jackson went down my body, continuously tickling my sides.

"Jackson! Lauren!" I warned him, trying to tell him that if I scream anymore, Lauren might wake up. Finally, Jackson got the message and stopped.

I tried to steady my breathing as fast as I could, but it took longer than expected. As soon as I caught my breathing, I looked down at Jackson and he smiled as he laid his head on my lower abdomen. He pressed the side of his face hard against my stomach and I giggled.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Nothing." He said and looked up at me. His fingers went to the hem of my shirt and slid it upward, just above my bellybutton.

My cheeks burned and I moved my hands to his head.

"What are you doing?" I asked and he grinned.

"Shh." He said and lowered his head, to kiss just below my bellybutton. My blush deepened, making my whole face red, as I arched my back, putting my hands on the ground.

"Stop it Jackson." I told him, but he didn't stop.

He only brought the shirt higher over my stomach until the bottom of my breasts. His lips went over my bellybutton, sticking his tongue out, and swirling it inside of my bellybutton.

He nipped at my skin and lightly sucked it, as I bit back a moan. I can't exactly do this right now. Lauren's right there and, ugh Jackson.

His kisses moved upward and I went to lay back down when he removed his lips from my skin to kiss me on the lips. The kiss deepened as parted his lips, running his warm tongue along my lips.

I circled my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me as his weight dropped on my body. His hands which was pushing my shirt higher, went over my breasts and with the newly exposed skin, his hands went to caress every inch of skin.

Whatever made him come on to me like this was something he's been holding in for a long time because I never seen him be so straightforward like this before. The weird side of all of this is that… I actually like this side of him. It kind of reminds me of the past.

Just as the moment heated up even more, we were then interrupted with the doorbell ringing. Jackson groaned and rolled off me, lying down. I sighed in disappointment. Ugh, the one time I get some kind of action in life, I get interrupted.

I sat up and before getting up, I quickly kissed Jackson. I lowered my shirt over my stomach and Jackson sat, watching me fix myself up. He smiled and winked at me as I stood up to go answer the door.

I opened the door in a rush, and got ready to send whoever was there away. When I looked at the person, it was a petite girl, about my height, with dark brown hair and seemed to be about my height. She has green eyes and wore a green top with a skirt. She seemed, well, lost.

"Hey, umm…" I started and she looked up at me.

"Hiyah! Um, I'm looking for someone." She said sounding a little confused. She had the same heavy accent as Jackson and I smiled.

"Sure, who are you looking for?" I questioned.

"I don't know if he'll be here, but his friend said that I should see him here." She then said.

"Okay, who?" I asked.

Who would tell a girl that someone she knew is here? She looked more like she's from out of town, maybe around the same place Jackson lives. It's weird though, why would a girl come here looking for someone, unless they were looking for…

"Well, this person is-" She started, but soon Jackson appeared next to me.

"Need help?" Jackson asked and I looked over at him feeling confused.

As soon as he glanced at the person outside of the door, his eyes widened, as if he was afraid, more like shocked, and he froze in his spot.

"Jackson!" The shouted and I stared at her, completely and utterly confused. She got inside of the house, threw her arms around Jackson's neck, and kissed him.

I stared at the couple, completely and utterly confused.

Who the _hell _is this girl that's kissing Jackson?

**A/N **Woohoo. That took a while. Hope you liked this chapter! Many things coming up in the next few chapters.

Anyway, I would've updated this earlier, but then, yeah hurricane Flossie was coming, which it came and it didn't affect the island I'm on and I found out we were supposed to have a tsunami, but it was canceled. Again. My sister's leaving on Saturday so yeah. Also, I'm falling behind in my classes and it's only the second week of the school. Anyway, I have three days off from school so I'll try get in as much writing as I can this weekend before school.

Anyway, yeah. Thanks for reading and that's for reviewing! And again, suggestions are always welcomed XD

BTW, sorry for the errors or if this chapter didn't make sense at all.


	10. Talking is Hard

**Chapter 10**

**Talking is Hard**

Here I stood, staring at Jackson and that random girl kiss right in front of me.

What. The. Fuck.

I wasn't even aware that Jackson had a girlfriend; I mean he said he dated, but none of them worked, so if none of them worked then why is this girl kissing Jackson?

I watched them as Jackson put his hands firmly on the girls shoulders and pushed her back.

"Kristy?" Jackson said, sounding a bit surprised.

"Kristy?" I questioned him sounding a bit surprised. Jackson looked over to me while shrugging.

"Jackson! You would think I would go three whole months without you? I mean it was hard, but I needed to see you!" The perky girl draped her arms around Jackson's neck, pressing her body against his.

"But Kristy…" He started with his eyes looking at me.

I cringed at the sight. So he does have a girlfriend, a girlfriend he didn't want to tell me about. I see how this is.

"Um… I'll leave you two alone." I forced a smile on my face.

I rolled my eyes and closed the door. I left the couple there and went inside of the living room, moving over to Lauren. She was awake by now and so I picked her up and walked into the kitchen.

I didn't know what to expect by now. Not five minutes ago, I was kissing Jackson, thinking we would finally do something intimate and there his girlfriend comes in and it's like _what the hell_?

Are we going to play that game again?

I mean, with Emily it was different because it was a mistake and he was going to break up with her, but now he's going behind this new girls back and makes out with me. It doesn't make sense because he never once mentioned him having a girlfriend _now_. Well, I never asked, but he still could've told me when we'd kissed or when we'd talk.

Ugh, now I feel like we're both full of secrets and lies. I don't want to be in a relationship like that.

What if he's doing this to get back at me for having sex with Oliver and getting pregnant? That was totally unintentional though! Does he want to screw up my life even more for cheating on him when I didn't mean it? That so called _present _was supposed to be for him, but instead I thought Oliver was him and I was freaking drunk! What the hell was I supposed to do? Turn on the light and make sure that it's Jackson before jumping in bed with the dude? Seriously, I told him to come up but he didn't!

I sighed in frustration.

This is stupid and I can't think about this now. What happened last year is something I told myself I wouldn't think about at all.

I shook my head and made Lauren a bottle to feed her with. I glanced at Lauren who was now rubbing her face with her little mitten.

I sighed. Jackson didn't exactly break that promise… where he would never forget me which he didn't. He dated, sure, but he has a freaking girlfriend! And he was the one who made the move on me!

I could hear someone's footsteps come from behind me and pursed my lips, only to move away from the spot I was standing in and opened the fridge.

"Lilly?" I could hear Jackson say.

I froze in place and blinked a few times before replying to him.

"Mhmm?"

"I'm going to go…" His voice trailed off and soon I felt hands on my hips. "I'll see you soon." He whispered with his lips lightly brushing my temple.

"Whatever." I muttered while staring hard at Lauren.

"I promise I'll clear things up." He said and sighed. "Bye." His hands dropped from my hips and I could feel him walking away from me.

I let out a shaky breath, feeling my chest burn. My mouth went dry and I closed the door of the fridge. I walked into the living room, sitting on the cough and watched as Lauren stared up at me, wide-eyed.

I raised my hand to her forehead, running my finger from her forehead down her cheek and to her lips. I lightly kissed her cheek and moved back again.

I don't know why I feel so bad now. Its not like I was actually going to get back with Jackson, after all I am with Oliver. It just seemed too much for me. Jackson made it like we were going to get together for sure. He kissed me and he said so many sweet things to me. Why would he not tell me of his girlfriend? Is he yet another idiot boy who thinks he can get away from everything? It just doesn't make sense.

-----

The following day, I hung out in my room with Leah while sitting on my bed talking. I've been itching to tell her about what happened yesterday, but I just couldn't for some reason. Damn it, why must life be so complicated, I swear, I don't think I will ever meet someone who will have an even more complicated life than mine.

"Ugh!" I inwardly groaned and threw my fists against the bed, making it shake.

"What other dramas does my dear sister have today?" Leah asked as she moved closer to me.

"It's nothing okay." I told her and stared at the crib right in front of me.

"Lilly, you know you can tell me everything right?" Leah asked as she put her hand on my knee.

"Yes, I know that."

"Well, that is about the 500th time you made that sort of noise and I'm starting to think that there are already problems in paradise, in other words, with your private boyfriend."

I rolled my eyes at her. "What you don't know won't hurt you. You don't need to know every detail about me Leah." I warned.

"Well, I just want you to know that I'm here. I know you're busy with the baby and Oliver and right now I have the feeling that you wish that you have never met Jackson or had the baby at all. What's wrong?" Leah said.

I hate it when sisters are always right. They know when something is wrong with you and sometimes it's almost as if they can read your mind. Only about a year ago did Leah start to actually acting like a sister. This is just too weird.

Screw it, I might as well tell her more of my screwed up life.

"Jackson has a girlfriend and I'm so fed up with guys!" I finally said.

"Jackson has a girlfriend?" She questioned, retracting her hand from my knee.

"Yes, and I swear if I ever meet another idiot like Jackson or Oliver, I'll go crazy! If this is how most guys are, then... I'd rather be with a girl or something!" I shouted.

"Shh." Leah warned, reminding me about the infant sleeping in the room.

"Oh gosh Lilly, you don't know how many times I went through that phase."

I stared at her. "You've been with girls?" I gasped.

"No!" She rolled her eyes. "Where you're torn between two great guys and the one guy you really like is the jerk who decided to keep their other girlfriend a secret."

"I'm just so sick of boys lying." I sighed. "I just wished my life wasn't so complicated." I frowned deeply and cupped my cheeks.

"Everyone wishes the same thing; you've just followed the wrong pathway." Leah took a deep breath. "I never wanted that abortion, but I knew that mom would probably make me do the same thing she's putting you though." She sighed.

"You never fully told me why you did that abortion." I furrowed my brows and lifted my right leg, tucking it under myself, and turned to Leah.

"Abortion." She sighed. "I would've kept it, but Junior was against it. He told me to get one at an instant and I knew I wouldn't have a life with him. Actually, now that I think of it, I knew we weren't truly in love, like you and Jackson, to begin with. Before I get myself pregnant again, I want to be with someone I want to live my life with, and at first I thought it was Junior, but I was wrong." She narrowed her gaze.

"Junior is immature and a complete idiot. He'll never learn from anything and he only used me. I should've known that. I wasn't financially stable and I was going to be a single mother, which is something I can't do so in the end, I got an abortion." She frowned. "And now I'm afraid to be with a guy or have kids because I did something I'm totally against."

"You're not going to have kids? Leah, you have to!" I said and she shook her head.

"After seeing what you're going through is making me even more scared. Right now, I'd prefer to just take care of Lauren because she's an easy baby." She smiled and looked at her hand. "She only cries at night and during the day she sleeps."

"Wow. Maybe you'd be a way better mother than me." I said and she laughed.

"Never. You're perfect for Lauren and I do hope that you do choose someone soon. You're being untrue to Oliver while you're with Jackson."

"And Jackson is being untrue to me for hiding his girlfriend." I pointed out.

"Yeah, well… I don't want to meddle, but you should pick someone soon before it's too late." She weakly smiled at me.

I nodded. She's completely right.

My phone started to ring and I got it from the side of me. It was a text from none other than Jackson himself.

_Meet me outside ASAP pls._

I rolled my eyes. "Jackson wants me to meet him outside."

"Go for it, I can handle Lauren." She said and got up from the bed, walking over to the crib.

"I don't want to go."

"You shouldn't ignore him. He got back and you need to know the truth from him. Knowing the truth from him would make everything easier."

I got up from my bed and nodded. "Fine, but I swear…"

"Trust me Lilly; this is the easiest thing to do." She replied and reached into the crib for Lauren.

-----

When I got outside I saw nothing at all. I sighed and sat down on the porch steps. So much for meeting him as soon as possible, he's not even here.

I sighed loudly and closed my eyes. Damn boys. Boys who make girls feel like this should die.

"Damn it." I said under my breath.

Nothing is fair, I swear.

I closed my eyes and shook my head.

"Hey you."

I opened my eyes and saw a blurry figure walking toward me from the side of the house.

"Why are you there?" I asked. "I thought you were going to meet me ASAP?" I raised my eyebrows and he chuckled.

"I thought it would take you longer to get down here and so yeah, I went around back just incase you came out there. I thought Oliver was home since I see another car." He pointed to the driveway and there beside my car was my mom's car.

"Oh wow, I didn't even know my mom's home." I said and shrugged.

She usually comes home unannounced and falls asleep. She gets really busy at the hospital which kind of sucks, then again, I have to remember she's helping me out with Lauren with money and things that would help me out.

"So your mom is here." He nodded.

"What did you want to talk about? I have to get back to Lauren if you don't mind." I told him feeling myself grow restless.

"Okay, I'll just come out and say it." He sat down next to me and sighed. "Yesterday… that girl Kristy, she isn't my girlfriend."

I sighed in frustration. "Damn it Jackson will you stop lying to me?"

"Why would I lie to you? I dated her, sure, but I broke up with her and our relationship wasn't even strong." He said. He raised his hand to his hair and started to scratch his head.

"I really don't know what to believe."

I'm not going to lie or anything, I'm just going to tell how I feel and I'm sick of everything!

"Believe me. I could care less about her. She's just an obsessed girl Lilly; I thought you knew me better than anyone else." He said.

"That's before I found out you had a girlfriend!" I exclaimed. I got up from the steps. "I really don't get you." I shook my head.

"Why are you being so hard on me?" He got up, took a hold of my hand, and lifted it to his chest. "You're the only girl I want, but you're stuck with an indecisive, irrevocable, idiotic boy who thinks he's _your everything_. He doesn't even see that you're unhappy with him and when you're with me, I know for a fact that you want to be with me too."

"What makes you so sure?"

"Do you want to be with me?"

I looked away from him. He is completely and utterly true, but I just can't admit to that. I pulled my hand away from him and walked back toward the door of my house. As I went to reach for the doorknob, Jackson took a hold of my shoulders, spun me around and pushed me against the door, forcing a kiss on me. His hands tightly gripping onto my hips as his kisses grew even harder and passionate.

I was hesitant at first, wanting to just push him away. I placed my hands to the nape of his neck, getting ready to pull at his hair to let go of me, but instead, I found myself responding to the kiss.

It wasn't long before Jackson finally decided to get away from the kiss and talk.

"Please Lilly." He whispered as he kissed my cheek.

"I don't know." My eyes were staring passed him and at the road, just in case Oliver decided to come home now. I was getting nervous; it was almost time for Oliver to get home.

"Think about it." He said and planted a kiss on my other cheek.

I closed my eyes and let out a shaky breath. "I will."

He placed one last kiss on my lips before he finally pulled away. "I'll leave you time to think. I'll see you soon." He said and dropped his hands from my hips, walking down the steps and onto the sidewalk in the direction toward Emily's house.

I sighed and leaned against the door.

Damn it Jackson, why must you do this to me?

I frowned and went inside of the house. As I closed the door, I heard my mom's voice from behind me.

"What did you do Lilly?"

I turned toward my mom's voice and saw her inside of the living room, sitting on the couch, and watching TV.

"I needed some air." I replied softly and walked inside of the living room, sitting next to her.

She sat on the edge of the couch and wrapped her arm around my shoulder.

"How have you been?" She asked and I shrugged.

"Confused. Very confused." I sighed and leaned against mom. I closed my eyes as she held me close.

I just want everything to get better, but now I'm stuck with so much choices and it sucks.

**A/N **Hope you liked this chapter :D

Hopefully I'll have my updates faster. I finally wrote out the whole idea for the fic so that it would be a little easier on me since yeah…

Thanks for the reviews and reading!


	11. How To Feel

**Chapter 11**

**How To Feel  
**

For the next few days, Jackson hasn't been hanging out as much as he used to and I blame Kristy for it. Then again, it isn't her fault. It's more his fault for not telling me that he has a sick and obsessed girlfriend/ex-girlfriend. Then again, I don't have the right to say that either since I'm somewhat one of them. At least he returns the feeling… I think. Ugh why do I do this to myself?

I slipped my hands through my hair and pulled at it, throwing myself backward and onto my bed. I closed my eyes, breathing deeply, and groaned.

"I'm such a dumb ass." I said to myself.

"You're a dumb ass, how?"

I opened my eyes, propping myself with my elbows and looked seeing Oliver come in with Lauren in his arms, crying. I rolled my eyes, getting up from the bed and went to Oliver, offering to take Lauren from his hands.

"No, I can handle it. No wonder Leah likes it when she cries at night. It's because we're the ones taking care of her." He chuckled and rocked Lauren. (_Make sense to some people now? Sorry some people asked why Leah liked it when Lauren stays awake at night_)

I nodded and went back to my bed. I sat down, yawning, and glanced at the clock. It's only three in the morning. I went to lie back down on the bed, closing my eyes. I'm tired, but I'm not tired. I want to sleep, but I can't sleep. If I sleep, then I might have a dream about Jackson and apparently dreams of that idiot have been hitting me harder than anything else in the freaking world.

"You know, you can go to sleep if you want. I don't have school or work tomorrow so I'll be happy to take care of her." Oliver replied as he slowly moved his arms up and down, trying to calm Lauren down.

I let out a soft laugh. "I want to sleep, but I can't." I sat up and looked over to him.

He was shutting the door by now and then walked over next to me, sitting down. He placed Lauren in the middle of the bed as she finally calmed down. Pretty soon she'll probably start crying again. She liked to be held when she's awake; I think all babies are like that.

"You know, I said I could carry her." I said making Oliver shrug.

"I didn't want to irritate you." He smiled. "You've been too busy with her and maybe you could take a break."

He didn't seem tired at all, I wonder why? He's usually the one making me care for Lauren while he sleep, but tonight is somewhat different. Maybe it would be a good time to talk to him about _us_.

I sat up, not slouching any more and moved a little back ward until my back hit the wall. I crossed my arms over my chest and slightly tilted my head as I stared at him. How to bring up the subject about _us_? I can't say, _Oliver how do you feel about me_, just like that. I need to think of something to talk about beforehand.

"So how is work and school?" I questioned as I pulled my legs on the bed, crossing them, and turned my whole body to him.

"School, there are some problems, I'm just happy to be over with it by the end of next week. Work is boring. Who knew doing fast food restaurants would suck so much. I probably gained a lot of weight while working there." He put his hand on his stomach and lightly tapped it.

I smiled. "Well, you look fine to me." I reached over, putting my hand on his firm arm and squeezed it. "Mr. Manly." I joked.

He chuckled. "Yeah right." He looked down to the floor and I studied him as he started to fumble with his fingers on his lap.

I knew he wanted to talk about something by then, but what?

"What's on your mind?" I found myself saying and he glanced at me with a slow blush forming.

"Nothing, I don't know, I guess I'm just thinking." He replied, only to move a little closer to me.

Once his leg hit my knee. He looked at me and locked his gaze with mine. His left hand moved to my left knee as he shifted his body so he could see me a lot better.

"Wow, big move for someone who is just thinking." I sarcastically said while staring at his hand on my knee.

"Shut up." He joked and squeezed my knee cap.

His eyes dropped my gaze as he looked down. I could feel his eyes on my body, making me feel slightly insecure. I dropped my arms from my chest and took his hand on my knee.

"What?" I asked, trying to gain some security.

"How do you feel about Jackson?" As the name Jackson left his lips, you could hear so much hate in that name which somewhat pained me.

Why couldn't they just be friends? Oliver knew I still loved him when I was first pregnant, but now it's almost as if he just can't stand him. He only saw him once and jealousy washed over him so quickly. Its amazing boys could feel like this.

"Why are you bringing him up now?" I asked, shoving his hand away from my knee.

This is definitely something I didn't want to talk about. I wanted to talk about us, not Jackson.

"I'm sorry Lilly, I really am, and I just feel weird about it. Knowing your past, it's making me think things I don't want to think about and-"

"Oliver!" I exclaimed taking both hands in mine. "Look," I narrowed my eyes. "I can honestly say that I don't know how I feel about Jackson." I took a deep breath. "He's a boy, I'm a girl, and _you're _supposed to be _my _boyfriend… just don't worry about it." I forced a smile.

What I said wasn't the entire truth, but it wasn't a lie either. I don't know how I feel about Jackson because each time I see him, I just feel utterly confused. Also, Oliver is somewhat my boyfriend in a way so he shouldn't worry at all. The only time he should worry is when I finally decide who I want to be with, which is quite awkward. It's like a secret poll Jackson, Leah, and I only know about. Ugh, I'm already feeling guilty thinking like this.

"Lilly, you know what…" Oliver started and grasped onto my hands. A small smile on his lips as me moved closer to me.

"What?" I asked and pulled my ands away from him, it was just weird with him holding onto me.

He stared at me, hard, and moved a hand to my neck. He cupped it and leaned forward, pressing his soft lips against mine. I put my hands on his upper torso, only to find myself leaning into the kiss. His arms snake around my waist, pulling me closer to him.

I didn't know what the hell I was doing, but for some reason I felt as if I wanted to do this, like I've been waiting for something like this to happen. Then again it could be because I haven't had anything too intimate for a long time.

Returning the kiss, I moved my hands over to his back, hoping to get a lot out of this simple yet sweet kiss.

I heard a cough come from the door and we broke apart, with Oliver pulling his hands away from me. I straightened myself out, but I kept my head down as my mother's voice filled the room.

"I just wanted to check up on you three before I leave. I have to go to work now, there's an emergency and they called me in." She said.

I finally looked up, only to see my mom grinning. She waved at us as she quietly closed the door and walked off.

I leaned against the wall behind me and put my hands to my face, gnawing at my lower lip.

I can't believe she saw me! Us! Gah! So freaking embarrassing! Now she's going to think…

"Damn." I said under my breath.

I gazed up at Oliver who got up from the bed, moving over to the window. He looked out in the darkness and I sighed.

After tonight, I know for a fact that it might be harder to get out of this relationship if I do break up with Oliver.

----

In the morning, I decided to leave the house and visit Miley while Oliver stayed home with Lauren. I took Oliver's car, since it was blocking my car, and drove to her house, not wanting to walk just incase I _accidentally _bumped into Jackson and Kristy. When I reached Miley's house, I was happy to see that she was home alone. There was only her car parked in the front of her house. Mr. Stewart was probably out doing some Hannah things while she just does nothing at home.

I parked my car in front of her house as I walked up her driveway, making it over to the front of her door. It had been a long time since I last came here. Maybe it was when I had my baby shower. A few friends and family and it was cute. It was held here two months before I gave birth to my love.

I went up to the door and knocked, only for the door to quickly open with Miley throwing her arms around me.

"Lilly!" She squealed as she started to jump.

I held Miley close to me, smiling as I pressed my face into her shoulder. She walked backward with her arms still holding on me and closed the door. When we went inside, she pulled away from me, taking my hand and leading me toward the couch. We sat down and she kept a smile on her face as she stared at me with a curious look on her face.

"What brings you here?" She asked.

"I just wanted to talk to you. I miss you. Why haven't you been by?" I questioned as I pulled my legs on the couch and sat on them.

"Hannah's been doing a new music video and so I've been busy." She shrugged. She put her head on the couch and sighed.

"Wow." I smiled. "That's awesome."

"It would be even more awesome if I had Mike and Lola there." She softly replied.

I frowned. "I'm really sorry Miley, I never meant-" I started. Here comes the guilt trip once again. Why do I always feel this way whenever something reminds me of how close we used to be?

"It's okay Lilly." She smiled. "It's not like it was intended." She sighed. "Plus Jake has been pretty sweet for the past few days."

I gaped at her. "_Jake_? Jake Ryan, what the hell?" I asked and she laughed.

"Why does everyone say that whenever I bring it up? He's as good as most of the other guys I've dated." She pouted and I laughed.

"Honestly, could you ever tell me that you're in love with Jake?" I asked as I put my head down on the couch. She sighed and shrugged.

"You know, how has Lauren been?" She asked while changing the subject.

I rolled my eyes. "She's great."

"Do you breast feed?" Miley asked making my face flush.

Why would Miley ask a question like that? That's just random

"Once in a great while, but you'll eventually have to because it would leak and it's embarrassing." I stared at my lap, feeling my face flush even more.

"Eek. Has that happened?"

"Yeah a few times, but I dislike breast feeding. It hurts."

"Oh." She formed a big o with her mouth. "So who is taking care of Lauren while you're here?"

"Oliver has been taking care of her right now." I said, staring intently at Miley in case she made any sort of movements or facial expression as I said it, but her face stayed the same.

I guess finding out if she still has feelings for Oliver is going to be harder than I thought.

----

After talking to Miley for hours about random things, like life, love, Lauren, school, and just everything else, Miley brought up the subject Jackson. As much as I wanted to ask Miley so much about him, I don't think it would be healthy if I did. She might think I was stalking him or she would actually find out about my little big secret with being with Jackson for those few days.

"Anyway, have you seen Jackson yet?" Miley then asked.

I nodded and put my hands on my lap as I started to fumble with the hem of my shorts. I didn't know exactly what to say.

I've been seeing Jackson more than Miley has and I've been going behind Oliver's back when I kiss him. It's just too hard for me to decide in what I want. It would be right for me to stay with Oliver, but with Jackson he makes me feel loved. Then again today… when Oliver kissed me… it's almost like I actually liked it for the first time ever. My mind is going crazy and I hope that I can figure out how I'll deal with the two boys soon.

I wasn't paying attention to Miley at all until I hand appeared in front of my face, bringing me back into reality with Miley shouting my name.

"Lilly!"

"Sorry, what?" I questioned with confusion in my tone. I gazed up at her seeing her face turn quite frustrated toward me.

"I said Jackson is still the same." She shook her head and grinned. "Boy, you'll never change, you always get side tracked."

I tend to ignore her when I think about my problems I'm still amazed that she hadn't slapped me yet to gain my attention. Then again if she ever did that I would return the slap.

I shook my head. I need to concentrate on this conversation with Miley. That's why I came here, to talk to Miley.

"I met Jackson's girlfriend Kristy." Miley suddenly brought up.

I slowly nodded while sighing. "Kristy is quite… interesting." I replied.

"You met her? What?" She said and I laughed.

"Jackson wanted to meet Lauren when Kristy magically appeared at my house."

"I hate Kristy. There are so many reasons why and…" She started, but my mind moved to my thoughts once again.

It wasn't a lie but it wasn't the truth either. I've been doing this a lot. When will I ever be true to myself and my friends? But then everyone lies so that they won't hurt their friends or family. Maybe it would be better off if Miley didn't know about my secret meetings with Jackson like how I planned to tell Miley today.

"…then she complained how ugly my bed was. Isn't she a bitch?" Miley questioned.

I shook my head and stared at her blankly once I finally remembered what she was talking about. "Yeah, big one." I let out a small chuckle.

"Yeah."

I sat up straight, moving closer to Miley on the couch. Maybe it would be time to ask Miley the big question I've been trying to find out even before I gave birth to Lauren. I just hope she'll finally answer me.

"Miley, if I ask you a question, would you answer truthfully?"

She nodded. "It really depends on the question, but if I feel comfortable enough the sure, I'll answer."

I clasped my hands together and sighed deeply.

"Are you in love with Oliver?"

Miley coughed out loud and scrunched her face as if she was thinking hard about it. She closed her eyes for a second while bringing her hand to her forehead.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She shook her head.

"Just tell me Miley, tell me the truth and I promise I'm not going to be mad. I just need to know." I begged as I dropped my hands and moved them to Miley's legs.

"Lilly, you have to know that I'm okay with you and Oliver dating. Just as long as he's happy, then I'm happy." She said with a forced smile on her face.

"But what if one of us isn't happy then what? Miley, I know you're unhappy about it and I really am sorry. Just tell me the truth, please?" I begged, making Miley drop her head.

"You know I hate lying to you and you know that I can't exactly come out and say it, but it is hard. Finding out your best friends did something and are now stuck together with a baby isn't exactly something that makes a person happy, especially you used to date him." She said in a soft voice.

"So I take it that yes you still have feelings for Oliver?" I asked as I raised an eyebrow.

I knew she did, but she didn't have to lie to me about it. I just wished she would tell me that she did like him like that, but I doubt it would happen.

"Lilly-" She stared, but I shook my head, knowing she was going to say something else.

"Have you ever felt like you want something you can't have because they're with someone else and you have to forcibly forget about them, trying to make yourself love someone else?" I asked and found Miley's head dropping lower. "You tell yourself each day that you'll love the guy you're with, but in reality you cant because your heart is with someone else."

My chest ached as I said this. Why would it? I'm trying to persuade her to tell me the truth, but in all this is just making me feel even sadder.

"And as each day passes, knowing that he has a different lover, you just can't help but feel utter jealousy because you just want to be with him. He makes you feel so good when it's just the two of you, you just want to reach and touch him, maybe kiss him, but you can't just because you know it would hurt him as well as yourself."

My throat grew tight and dry at this point, unable to say nothing more. I cleared my throat and watched as Miley raised her head with a frown on her face.

"I'm sorry Lilly. I don't know how to say it, but yeah, I still have this weird feeling for Oliver. I don't mean to cause trouble and I know you're with him it's just..." She closed her eyes, letting out a shaky breath. "I don't know what to do with myself. Jake is smart. He could even see that I'm not completely _in love _with him, but I just don't know how to get over Oliver. I'm okay with him and you together. I just have to forget about my feelings for him and I'm okay." She said as a few tears slipped out and ran down her cheeks.

"Miley, its okay… Thanks for telling me." I smiled and looked over at the clock near the TV. It said 4:30, my cue to go home. "I have to go, I told Oliver I wouldn't be out too late." I said as I got up from the couch. Miley got up and hugged me.

"I'm sorry." She said and I smiled.

"You don't need to be sorry. I'm just happy you could open up to me. I love you like a sister you know and this might sound stupid, but don't forget that feeling for Oliver. I'm trying to discover my own feelings and… yeah." I shrugged and let go of her.

She walked me toward the door and watched me as I left the house and drove off. I turned up the volume of the music, allowing it to fill me. I felt somewhat happy yet sad. Happy that Miley came out to me and told me she still liked Oliver, sad that I started to feel different when I tried to persuade her to tell me. It's just something I have to get through.

I passed by a parking lot and I smiled. Maybe it would be better if I went to clear my mind before I go home. Oliver doesn't exactly need me home until later tonight, I just needed to leave Miley's house before she got me crying as well.

I did a U turn and went back to the parking lot to park the car. Once I parked it, I got out and started to walk toward the beach. I needed to clear my head. I don't want Oliver to know I'm feeling quite… I don't know. I don't even know why I'm feeling slightly sad.

I sighed, shoving my hands in the pockets of my jeans and looked down into the sand.

So many memories on the beach… ones in which I don't want to remember because it just reminds me of the one and only…

"…Jackson." I whispered and stopped walking.

I looked at the beach and sighed.

Man, I did screw up huh? Maybe that's why I'm feeling like this, because I miss Jackson. I guess… I somewhat wish I could meet up with Jackson again. Just to see him smiling to make me feel better. I feel horrible with what happened today with me and Oliver and I feel like I'm going behind Miley's back about it when they're not even dating. Its the fact that she still has feelings for him makes me feel even worse. As for Jackson, I'm feeling bad for even leading Oliver on like that earlier today which will just screw up my decision with who _I_ want to be with.

I shook my head and started to walk again, this is too fucked up. I have so many things to think about. Ugh, seriously. I shook my head, looking down at my feet, wondering about the outcome of all of this when I suddenly bumped into someone.

I lifted my head and smiled. "Sorry!" I said and soon realized that it was none other than…

"Lilly."

"Jackson."

**A/N **Okay! Lol Hope you liked this chapter. I will finally say that some things will happen in the next chapter that would probably make a few people happy haha.

I'm super sorry for the late update. I've been quite busy with school and clubs and my friends signed me up for too much things so I'm going to quite a few clubs. I really don't need the extra things and now I'm kinda stuck with helping out a few friends with somethings that happened in the past few days.

Anyway, many people have been asking me how many chapters there will be and there will be approximately 25 chapters in this whole fic. I really don't know, it might change since I'm changing the plot again.

Sorry if the chapter was too long. I didn't know how to end it.

And Thanks for reading and the awesome reviews!

Who do you want Lilly to be with?


	12. The Familiar Feeling

**A/N **Someone pointed out and said that in the last chapter I said she was wearing shorts in one point and pants in another, well Lilly's wearing shorts. I know it's not important… ish but you'll see XD

Chapter dedicated to GodzillaGuy for writing the longest review in the whole world XD haha. You're awesome dude, seriously.

**Chapter 12**

**The Familiar Feeling **

I shyly glanced at Jackson as he walked forward with a small smile on his face. He slipped his hand in mine, making me feel slightly confused. I blushed and dropped his gaze as he tightened his grip on my hand.

"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with Lauren at home?" He asked with much concern in his voice.

I shrugged. "I went to visit Miley. We had a very interesting talk there." I nodded.

I felt Jackson's hand slip under my chin. I lifted my gaze up and stared into Jackson's eyes, feeling my cheeks slightly flush

He smiled bigger and whispered. "Can we talk?" He asked with pleading eyes.

I nodded and gulped air. "Yeah, I guess… just for a bit. I need to go home." I told him.

He dropped his hand from my chin looking satisfied and then we started to walk. He looked at his feet as and sighed deeply.

"Lilly, what's going on between us?" He asked while kicking sand from the ground.

"What do you mean by _us_? I wasn't aware there was an _us_." I said and rolled my eyes, while staring at the ground.

Why is it that everyone wants to talk about _us_? This morning with Oliver, and now Jackson? Seriously, how weird is this?

"Lilly, don't be like that, you know what I mean." He then replied.

I kept quiet and shrugged. What else am I supposed to say? There is no _us _except the bad _us_. The us which aren't supposed to happen at all, but then again it did happen and the trouble that's putting me in is deciding between Jackson and Oliver. Jackson already has a freaking girlfriend… or ex-girlfriend I don't know this whole thing is confusing me again.

We were walking toward a secluded part of the beach when he let go of my hand and started to run and do a flip. I quietly laughed to myself as he tripped over a rock, landing face down on the ground. He rolled over, and stared up at the sky while smiling.

"Weirdo." I said while I neared him.

He lifted his head and smiled at me. "What? Can't I be myself while you lock yourself up and do nothing?" He asked and sat up and put his knees up, resting his elbows on his knees.

"Shut up." I rolled my eyes and walked over to a log on the side near Jackson.

"Yeah, so what did you and my lovable sister talk about at home?" He asked and turns to stare at me.

"Nothing important apart from talking about life and all. She asked me about breast feeding-" I grinned while trying to gross him out.

"Ew." He shivered. "Did not want to know that."

I laughed. "Gosh, you're so stupid." I shook my head and crossed my legs. "Ladies do that when they have kids."

"It's just weird. Sorry." He apologized and shook his head. "I guess it's still hard to believe you have a kid even if I've been seeing Lauren almost everyday since I've been going to your house."

He dropped his head and touched the tips of his fingers together. I could tell that he was in deep thought and it made me want to ask what he was thinking about. Today seemed to be a day of talking about everything. It just seemed to be somewhat weird and interesting at the same time. I learned a lot, that's a fact, but there is so much a girl can take in for a day.

"Lilly, will there ever be a day when we talk about our past?" Jackson asked.

I gazed up at him and shrugged. I haven't thought about it at all for the past few days. I was too busy thinking about him and his girlfriend and I have no clue why I do. Our past though… I'm scared to just come out and bring back anything from the past; then again what we're doing is what we did in the past. Gah I'm not making any sense.

"What happens is we do talk about our past? Nothing will change, you have a girlfriend, I have a boyfriend, and we're all good." I forced a smile when Jackson glared at me.

"Lilly, I told you she wasn't my girlfriend. Ugh, I thought I made it clear to you that we broke up and she's just obsessed."

"If she was just obsessed then why did Miley say _girlfriend_? If she's just obsessed, why did you introduce her as your girlfriend?" I said and I caught him as he shook his head.

"Lilly, will you just trust me?" Jackson said and sighed. "She greeted herself that way. I didn't want to make her angry so I didn't say anything about it." He shook his head.

"Well you could've told them the truth."

"Lilly, will you be reasonable? I don't want to talk about Kristy; I want to talk about us. I want to know where our relationship is headed before I make any more mistakes." He sighed and dug his hands into the sand. "It's just hard for me… I know you're with Oliver and you two have a baby, but it makes me think that you're not going to do anything about it."

My chest ached as he said that. As much as I want to make the decision I can't. It's just too hard for me to make it and with the right decision? How is that possible? To me, being with me is probably the biggest mistake he'll ever make. I have a baby with someone else and yet he keeps on coming back to me. That's just not right.

I stared hard at Jackson as his head hung low, with his eyes partially closed. He looked even more confused than I thought he did and it's all because of me. I don't want anyone to feel that way because of me. I'm already in that position and I hate it.

Jackson took a deep breath. "You're off having so much time with the two of them, but in the end I'm just alone and stuck. I'm sick of hiding all of this when I want to be more open about my feelings." His hands balled with him squeezing a handful of sand. "Lilly, I still love you-"

I froze.

_He _just said _he loves_ **me**.

I gasped, with my hands flinging over my mouth.

He hasn't said that once to me since we met up. He only said he missed me, but actually hearing him say he loves me makes it 10 times better…. Or worse… I don't know! It just harder for me to make my decision.

"-and I want you more than anything in the world, but you have to make a decision and soon because I don't think I can hold it in any longer." He ended.

I sat there, confused and shocked all at the same time. He wants me to choose him or Oliver soon, but how do I do that? That's not fair… then again it's not fair that I'm seeing both Oliver and Jackson at the same time.

I got up from the log, keeping my eyes on Jackson. I walked closer to him and he gazed up to me as I approached him. Once I reached him, I went on my knees, just between his legs, and put my hands on his chin.

"Jackson…" I sighed, staring into his deep blue eyes.

He looked confused in what I was going to do; I didn't even know what I was going to do, so I decided I better do whatever now then later. Do whatever I need to find out how I feel now instead of later; I hated waiting for something amazing to happen when nothing amazing ever happens. I should just do whatever I want right now before its too late.

I leaned in and softly kissed him with my hands moving to cup his cheeks. His arms circled my waist as he held onto me tightly, kissing me back every so slowly. He ran his fingers along my sides with his fingers slightly tickling me.

He kissed me back effortlessly, making me want a little more of him. My tongue running along his lips soon probing into his mouth with long strokes. It was then I decided to pull away from Jackson, but his arms tightly held onto me as he pressed my body hard against his.

He pressed his hot mouth against mine, with his tongue tackling mine while he slowly moved backward, falling into the sand with me above him. I moved my hands to his chest as his moved down, over my butt and to my thighs, slipping his fingers to my inner thighs and parted my legs.

I gasped, pulling my face from his and stared at him as his hands glided up and down my thighs, stroking them slowly.

"What's wrong?" He questioned with his eyes squinting as he looked up at me.

"We can't do this here." I said in a throaty whisper.

He lifted a hand from my thigh and moved it behind my neck, smiling.

"It's late in the afternoon, hardly anyone is on the beach by now and no one comes to this section of the beach." He assures me with his soothing voice and kissed me once again.

We rolled on the on the sand so that Jackson would be positioned above me. His kisses deepened as he kissed down my jaw line and to my neck, kissing my throat. All this felt so familiar and wanted… I didn't want him to stop. I merely whimpered once Jackson's hands grazed my skin under my shirt as he pushed the material upward. He parted, only to help remove my and his own shirt, with his hands instantly moving for my shorts, getting ready to discard them as well.

I closed my eyes, wanting Jackson to continue his ministrations with his lips on my skin, slowly kissing downward to the valley between my breasts, when I lifted my hands to his head, pulling him up for a hard yet passionate kiss.

Nothing can stop me now.

-----

As soon as we got our clothes back on, it was already 6 at night. I was getting my clothes and hair straightened out when I felt Jackson's arms snake around my waist from behind. He pressed his face against my head stayed there before moving lower to kiss my cheek.

"Jackson." I murmured, as he pulled me tightly against his chest.

I smiled as I felt his lips graze my skin, moving down to my neck. I giggled, feeling my cheeks heat up a bit as his hands then slipped under my shirt.

"You're beautiful." He whispered against my skin as his tongue flicked the crook of my neck.

"Shut up." My cheeks now fully flushed once again.

His hands on my stomach then landed to my lower abdomen as he rubbed it.

"Aren't you afraid…?" He asked and I shook my head.

"I'm taking BC, the shot." I bit my lip. "My mom doesn't exactly want any more _surprises_, but once I'm 18, I'm off it." I told him and he soon started to suck on my skin.

"Mhmm." He whispered.

"Jackson, stop, I have to go and I swear, if you leave a mark, I'm going to slap you." I hissed, escaping his grip and pushed him off me.

Jackson laughed and slipped his hand in mine, entwining our fingers together.

"It's not like you don't have any other marks on your body." He said, making me blush.

"Oh gosh Jackson, shut up." I warned, looking to the ground. I swear if he's going to act like this for the rest of the time, I'm going to get mad at him.

"I'm sorry Lilly; it just… feels good…" He said and I looked up at his smiling face.

I'll admit I do feel a little better. I don't know it's because I'm with Jackson or I just had probably the best time I ever had in my life. Then it makes me think… does it mean I chose Jackson over Oliver? I care for Jackson, I still love him, but what does tell me about the relationship I have with Oliver?

We started walking, going back to our cars. Jackson would occasionally kiss the back of my hand and laugh about something which made me feel like this is exactly how it's supposed to be between us. It seemed so right to be here with Jackson, but I have to go home now… to Oliver and… it's just unfair.

We reached my car and I stood in front of my door, waiting for Jackson to leave.

He smiled, only to back me up against my car door, placing his hands either side of me, and kissed me. It was a long and sensual kiss with him moving, pressing his body against mine once again. His hands moved over to my sides, only to slip under the fabric of my shirt.

My hands moved to the back of his neck, pulling him close to me as the kiss grew harder. I giggled when Jackson tried to get his hands up my shirt. I pulled back, putting my hands to his chest, and pushed him away from me.

"I really have to go home." I said and sighed. "Lauren… and Oliver… might be worried." I shrugged.

He sighed and leaned to peck my lips a few times before finally pulling away. He opened my door for me as I slipped in and gave me one more long kiss before closing the door for me.

I opened the window, telling him goodbye. I looked to my gearshift and saw my phone on the side. I picked it up and saw I had 13 missed calls. I shook my head, throwing my phone on the side, and gave Jackson one last wave as I drove off to my home.

I blushed, unable to forget about what happened at the beach, and started to drive quicker.

It's been a while and… oh gosh I can't believe it, I just feel weird. At the beach too? Seriously, and I thought it only happened in my fantasies.

I giggled and shook my head.

Gah, I need to go home. This is just too weird. I don't know how to feel. I feel happy, but at the same time guilty for going behind Oliver's back.

I growled and sighed, trying so hard to concentrate on the road, but I couldn't. All this talk, sex, us, Oliver, Jackson, it's all too confusing and I can't believe I just had sex with Jackson.

-----

As soon as I reached home, I quickly got out of the car and practically ran into the house. The lights downstairs were off downstairs so as I crept up the stairs, I could hear noises coming from my room. As I reached the top step, I peered into my room because my room was right there, and I found Leah taking care of Lauren, making kissie noises to her.

"You're so cute." She told Lauren and I softly laughed to myself.

"Hey you." I said as I walked into my room to get an exchange of clothes.

I needed a shower. I probably have Jackson's smell on me and I really need to get it off before Oliver realizes I'm not exactly as innocent and faithful as I should be to him.

"Where have you been?" Leah asked.

I could feel her behind me as I went into my closet finding myself a shirt. I sighed, and turned around, feeling my face heat up as I went to a drawer to get myself underwear and pajama pants.

"I was out." I told her.

"Ohh." Leah laughed and walked over to the side, leaning against the wall, facing me… "Well, Oliver went to go get dinner about an hour ago. I have no clue where he was, but he said that you should call him. He tried calling you, but you didn't answer. He got worried and you know, if you go off with Jackson, you should call Oliver once in a while just incase-"

"I did something with Jackson earlier." I softly said.

I couldn't keep it in; I needed to tell her so she would understand. Holding secrets like this is hard. There are some things I can handle, but this is just too big of an issue to keep in.

"Oh… wow."

"Yeah and I forgot my phone in the car." I got up from the ground, holding my clothes in my arms, and looked at Leah, who looked puzzled.

"Is it wrong?" I questioned.

I know the answer, of course it's wrong, but I needed to hear it from someone else. Asking myself these things don't exactly help, especially when you're in a position like me.

"It's wrong yes, but I don't know. You love Jackson, but you also love Oliver. I don't want to interfere with your relationships, but just do whatever you want, whatever feels right to yourself." Leah said and left the wall, walking over to the bed, and sat down.

"But-" A door slammed shut, comming from the front of the house and that was my cue to leave and take a shower.

"Shower before Oliver realizes you smell like sex." Leah said, flashing me a smile.

I shivered to that and rolled my eyes. "Gosh, you're so... Ugh." I shook my head and finally decided to take my shower.

Maybe after today, things would get better… Ugh, damn, I just hope Jackson doesn't think I've made my decision after this night.

**A/N **Haha…

So how did you like this chapter? I had a lot of fun writing it for some reason. It's been a while since Jackson and Lilly got time together. Hmm :D

Well, anyway, I wrote this and pushed off my math homework. Now I have 2 days of math homework to do now, which is like 4 pages of math. Gah I'm dumb, but I really wanted to write this chapter. Haha.

Anyway hope you liked this chapter and more to come up soon!


	13. Late Night Meeting

**Chapter 13**

**Late Night Meeting**

Its summer break for Oliver and Miley which means Oliver would be home more often and it's quite troublesome. Miley's been coming over almost everyday, making me have less time to go out and meet up with Jackson.

I need to see Jackson and it's been about a full week since I last saw him. Well, I saw him a few times in between, but it was for a second to tell him to go home just because Miley or Oliver was here. Ugh, sneaking around really does suck and I never thought I'd be doing it again with the same person again.

I sat in the living room couch with Leah and Miley, just listening to them gossip while I press my fingers against my temples. This is getting irritating. As much as I love Leah and Miley, I'm not much of a gossiper. I used to be, but then it all changed since… yeah.

I leaned back into the couch, closing my eyes, just listening to Leah and Miley's conversation. I swear Miley and Leah have so much in common that it's not even funny. It's almost as if they were meant to be sisters and not me. Then it would be a little awkward if I was born in Miley's position. I'm not pretty, I'm not a great singer, and it wouldn't be legal for me and Jackson to do _things_. Ew. That's sick.

"… so life pretty much sucks right now." Miley smiled while folding her arms over her chest.

"It's funny." Leah started and sighed. "Anyway, who is the one person you find yourself going back to every time?"

"What do you mean?" Miley asked.

I glanced at Leah, who was staring straight at me while smiling. Where is she going at this?

"Everyone has that one person they keep going back to…" She said and bit her lip. "Like, in my position, I hate them so much, but then I tend to forgive them and I end up falling for them even if I still hate them, if that makes any sense."

I stared at her as she pulled her legs up to her chest, looking slightly dazed. What is she thinking, seriously?

I thought about my own position I'm in with Jackson. I think Jackson's someone I go back to all the time. I can never get mad at him too long and he's just… cute. I don't know how to explain it, but I have the tendency to forgive so easily, I mean I couldn't even stay mad at Miley when she called me a slut and bitch when Jackson and I first dated.

"When I dated Oliver…" I hear Miley say and I snapped out of my thoughts, staring at Miley. She had her head down "… we'd have our little break ups, but we'd get back together, does that count?"

Leah nodded and turned to me. She smiled and I knew why she brought up the subject. She wants me to tell Miley about me meeting with Jackson.

I shook my head and pulled my legs to my chest, hugging them, and pressing my face against my knees.

"I don't know if I've ever been in that situation." I said, but Leah rolled her eyes, knowing I lied.

"I on and off dated Junior. Even after he showed how a big dick he can be, I still went back to him whenever I needed to feel loved. I don't know it was this phase I went to after the yeah… you know." Lean nodded.

I stared at her feeling a bit shocked. "Have you… yeah… you know with him after that?"

"Yeah." Leah blushed and looked to her feet. Leah shifted uncomfortably in her seat and bit her lip.

That was certainly not the answer I wanted to hear from her. "Are you serious? Then why…" I asked, wanting to know more of the subject.

Leah was still sexually active with Junior? Even if they did break up and they did have huge fights about random stuff, they still got together… What the hell?

I stared at Leah who seemed to be chewing on her lower lip.

"Like I said, I wanted to feel loved even if that wasn't the right way to move on. There's one person who you go back to and I guess that one person was Junior." She sighed and ran her hands through her thick blonde hair. "He can be a pain, but then at times he can get really sweet."

I nodded and smiled. I might hate Junior with a passion, but I have to admit, he used to be really sweet back then. He used to take me and Oliver out when he wanted to be alone, but I still hate him for practically calling me a slut. Ugh.

"Did you go back out with him after the first family talk about what we were going to do with Lauren?" I asked.

It seems like a rude thing to ask, but I am curious, after all nowadays it seems like everything happens because of something I did.

"Nope. We didn't exactly agree on anything. I wanted you to keep your baby and he didn't want you to keep it. If I ever had _it_, I think he would leave me for good." She shrugged as if she didn't care.

"Dang. I would hate to be the girl who will marry him, if he ever gets married." I replied a bit dazed.

I looked down to my lap and ran a finger against my knee. This is weird. Leah's admitting to her mistakes and what she did, Miley admitted to her thing with Oliver, and now I feel like I have to admit something. Man, I hate it when it's like this.

"What are you talking about?" Miley asked, finally breaking the awkward silence.

I giggled as Miley shook her head.

"Leah used to date Oliver's brother."

"I knew that." Miley smiled. "I'd see them making out everywhere." She looked at Leah who now was blushing.

"Shut up." Leah leaned back into the couch, pulling her legs up to her chest, and took a pillow from the side, hugging it. "We wouldn't make out everywhere, just selective spots. Hey, at least I'm not like Lilly, when she was with Jackson, it was like anywhere, everywhere." Leah laughed and threw the pillow at me.

"Hey! It wasn't even like that!" I shouted at her, feeling my own face heat up.

"Please don't talk about my brother like that, seriously." Miley grimaced and shook her head. "Ugh, catching them making out and practically doing it is one thing, but anywhere and everywhere is just going too far. Ew!"

I laughed as I got up from my seat and walked over to the portable crib Lauren was apparently sleeping in. now is a good time for her to be awake because I didn't want to talk about me and Jackson. I'm afraid and I feel like I'm just going to say I love him or something in front of Miley.

"It's good you're not seeing him now though. He's making stupid choices now. His friends are a bad influence on him. I mean, he looks good with the new hair and all, but I hate the new him." Miley scowled.

"How is he different?" I asked, suddenly gaining interest.

When he's with me, he seems the same old Jackson I used to know. I really don't understand.

"He's just… different. I was talking to his girlfriend at one point and she was getting worried." Miley smiled. "Like, I like Kristy and all, but she's stupid."

I smiled and nodded. I agree with Miley, Kristy is stupid. I hate her because she gets to hang out with Jackson when I'm stuck here listening to this stupid story. Damn it I need Jackson.

"She also thinks Jackson's a player." Miley pointed out and I pursed my lips.

'He's not a player; he said they're not together.' I said in my mind, as I shook my head. 'She's just an obsessed girl who thinks they're dating.'

"What makes you say that?" Leah asked as her voice slightly cracked.

Damn, her voice only cracks when she knows something. I just hope Miley doesn't know that. I turned to the two and found Miley sitting on the couch with Leah.

"Kristy said Jackson's always out and she suspects it's Emily since they had history. They _are _staying over at Emily's."

"Well, that makes it even more interesting. I wonder how long Kristy and Jackson will last." Leah said and smirked at me.

I shrugged and put my hands into the crib to pick up Lauren. I really wonder if Jackson's telling the truth about him and Kristy not dating. It just makes me confused. Kristy and Miley talk and Kristy seem to be really close with Jackson. Who knows how far the two of them been.

Ugh, I shouldn't think about that. It would be weird if I ever do anything with Jackson again and anyone else finds out.

-------

I was in my room, laying down on my bed, happy that I finally have some peace for sleeping. While Miley was still here, Miley kept Lauren up with her little moments of talking too loud and hugging Lauren more than she wants to be hugged. Actually, the first time Lauren completely woke up, Miley was holding her and I guess Miley wore Lauren out. I really do need to get Lauren's sleeping pattern adjusted, but she's still too small so it doesn't really matter yet.

I rolled to my side, facing Lauren's crib when Oliver walked and blocked my view of the crib.

"How's Miley?" Oliver asked as he settled down beside me on the bed.

He'd only come on the bed to talk to me, but for the rest of the night, I'd force, well he'd willingly sleep down on the floor. It didn't matter, my mom hardly ever comes in here anyway, but she probably thinks we're sex animals. That's sick.

"She's great, why do you ask?" I suspiciously said as Oliver kept a straight look on his face, looking up at the ceiling with his hands behind his head.

"Nothing, just wondering." He smiled as he looked at me.

I rolled my eyes, pulling the blanket up over my chest and closed my eyes. "Whatever."

"You think I have feelings for her, don't you?" He asked as he took his right hand from under his head and reached, putting his hand over my stomach.

"No, never." I lied. I bit my lip. "Though, I do think she likes you. What are you going to do about that?"

"Nothing at all. I already have the two best girls in my life." He chuckled and removed his hand from my stomach and rolled off the bed to the ground.

"Two girls?" I questioned, moving on the bed, and stuck my head off the edge of the bed, looking at him.

He fixed himself on the ground, putting a pillow under his head and getting his blanket over his body. He twisted so he faced Lauren's crib.

"You and Lauren." He sighed.

I bit my lip and frowned. I reached for my side table and turned off the lamp as I fixed myself on the bed. I felt a sudden ping of guilt fill me. I wasn't faithful to him and yet he's totally faithful to me. What am I supposed to say about that?

"Wow." I said. I had the sudden need to get outside and think about things. Oliver and Jackson things… again. Ugh.

"Lilly, how many-" Oliver started, but I cut him off.

"Hey Ollie, I'll be right back, I left something in my car." I said in a rush as I kicked off my blanket from my body.

"What? It's almost 2 in the morning, cant it wait till later today?" He asked.

I subconsciously shook my head as I threw my legs on the opposite side Oliver was on and walked around the bed to the door. I glanced at Lauren and back to Oliver who was getting ready to get up from the ground.

"Lilly?" He questioned.

I took my keys from the side drawer and opened the door.

What's a good excuse to go outside? The one thing Oliver forces me to have everywhere is…

"It's my p-phone." I stammered and quickly got out of the room.

-------

I opened the hood of my car as soon as I reached outside. I looked up to my window, seeing the lights still out.

Oliver you idiot, don't say things like that. I shook my head and pushed the hood all the way up. I couldn't see my window from this spot and if I cant see him, and then he can't see me right?

I sighed and leaned into the trunk, looking on the inside of it. I had a box of trash bags, a bag of diapers, and two boxes full of things I don't know what. We all share the cars, so this box is probably Leah's things. She borrowed my car not too long ago.

I moved a box from inside the trunk to the side so that I could make room to sit. I don't exactly sit inside the trunk, just on the back bumper with my ass kind of sticking out and inside the trunk.

"Ugh." I said to myself as I pushed the box harder toward the back of the car.

As I ducked my head into the trunk, trying to push things from behind the car away so I could fit the box better into the trunk, I felt something grip onto my waist and moving around my stomach, holding onto me tightly.

"Ah-" I started to scream, but a hand loosened from my stomach and clamped over my mouth.

I started to panic as I felt its body push against mine with it moving over me. Its breath was against my cheek and I bit my lip.

Who the hell is this? I said to myself, alarmed.

"Lilly, relax." A soft voice said.

I blushed and soon realized who it was, relaxing a bit and moved my head carefully out of the trunk. Jackson dropped his hand from my mouth and put it around my stomach. I turned around to face him and soon he attacked my lips with his own.

He held me there, giving me the sweetest kiss I've had since the last time I saw him. He pulled my close to him until I could barely breathe. I put my hands on his shoulders lightly squeezing them, hoping he would pull away.

He finally moved his lips from mine and grinned. I breathed heavily as I wrapped my arms around his neck, leaning my legs against the car.

"What are you doing here so late?" I questioned as he dipped his head to my cheek, kissing it, leaving a small moist trail to my ear lobe. His tongue flicked it and I giggled.

"I came by earlier but I saw Miley's car." He said and moved his kisses lower, down to my neck. He nuzzled my neck and I closed my eyes, enjoying the sensations he was giving me. "Then I decided to take a late walk to clear my mind. I needed to see you so badly and Kristy was irritating me." He said with a hand trailing down my back and over my butt. "She's been following me everywhere and the only time I get to leave is when she's either sleeping or in the bathroom. I swear she's almost like a puppy."

"So she's like your bitch?" I giggled, but it was soon replaces by a soft moan when I felt his soft lips press against the crook of my neck.

"You can call her whatever you want." He tickled my neck with his soft tongue.

I closed my eyes, relaxing under his touch. "Then what made you come here?"

"Well, I was going to go back to the house when I saw you here and so decided to pay you a little visit." He said against my skin and gave my butt a little squeeze.

"Eep." I said and bit my lip, turning my neck just in case I could see any light from the window of my room, but the hood still blocked us.

He coated my neck with his lips and tongue as I felt his hand from my butt slip into my pajama bottom.

"Jackson." I warned, but he ignored me with his hand running along my butt.

His fingers drummed against my flat bottom as I closed my eyes, getting a little uneasy.

God, I wanted him, I wanted him so bad now, but we're in public and there is no way I'd do it out here after going at the beach.

"Jackson, not here and not now." I hissed, but he continued to kiss my skin. "I swear, you leave a mark, I'll cut off your tongue."

"Someone's a little feisty tonight." He grinned.

His free hand moved down, slipping under the material of my shirt. He caressed my skin, stroking my back, moving his hand up and down. He lifted his lips from my skin, only to kiss my lips once again.

"I missed you." He said between kisses.

I closed my eyes, furrowing my brows, as I kissed him back. "Me too." I sighed and gave him a long soft kiss before pulling away completely.

"But how are we going to make this work? I want to see you… but this isn't working at all with Miley constantly visiting you and Oliver being there when Miley leaves." He leaned to kiss my forehead, removing his hands from its original spots and placing it over the small of my back.

"I don't know." I closed my eyes, leaning my forehead against his shoulder.

"Then come with me to Emily's and we-" Jackson started, but I abruptly shot up and shook my head.

"No Jackson. I can't. Oliver's expecting me and…" I started and suddenly panic.

This is so hard. I can't just randomly leave my family in the middle of the night to go out with Jackson. that's not exactly my thing. That's just wrong and I would never do that, even for Jackson.

"How can this be difficult? You love me and I love you, so just leave Oliver." Jackson pressed on.

I frowned and shook my head. "I can't just leave like that. I have so much to think about." I said and sighed loudly.

"Well you have chosen me right?" He questioned with his eyes opening wider, interested in what I was going to say.

"I don't know who to choose. I can't just pick you because we do these things." I said and dropped my arms from his neck. "I have a baby with Oliver." I sighed looking down and stared at the middle of Jackson's chest.

"Does he make you feel like this?" He asked as he kissed my forehead again.

I looked up at him, a little confused and then he captured my lips once again. He pulled me into a heart warming kiss with him holding onto me as tightly as possible. I closed my eyes feeling my heartbeat speed up a bit. His lips moved to my lower lip, sucking and nibbling at it.

"Jackson." I softly said. This needed to be stopped before it can go any further.

Jackson removed his lips from mine only to kiss the tip of my nose.

"What?" He smirked.

"I have to go."

"Okay." Jackson wore a frown on his face.

'Aww… He's sad!' I smiled and went on my tiptoes to kiss him.

He smiled and held me there for a second before letting go.

"I'm sorry." I said as I untangled myself from him.

"Don't need to be sorry I know this is hard for you." He sighed and dropped his head.

I straightened myself out and pursed my lips. I don't know how to say good bye, it's just really weird. I looked down at my own bare feet and wiggled my toes.

"Lilly?" Jackson called and I glanced at him.

His blue pools were looking directly into mine. He lifted his right hand putting it on my left with it lightly squeezing it.

"What is it?" I asked and he smiled.

"Meet me outside tomorrow around this time." He said.

"What? Wouldn't it be a little late?"

"Where no one could see us yes."

I smiled. He's smart, but then Lauren is usually awake at this time. Time to think up a new excuse just in case Lauren is awake and Oliver is taking care of her.

"I'll see you tomorrow then?" I asked watching him nod slowly.

"Good night Lilly." He said and leaned for a small kiss on my cheek.

"Bye." I gazed at him as he looked at me and shook his head.

"It's never good bye for us, remember that." He smiled one last time before walking off.

**A/N **I hope you liked this chapter!

Sorry late update, I know I've been saying that in all my updates lately lol. But I guess I can't help it. Forgive me for this late update? Please?

Thanks for the awesomeness reviews and reading!


	14. Let's Talk About Sex

**Chapter Dedication **to Silly Lilly for trying to help me out and continuously asking me to update.

**Chapter 14**

**Let's Talk About Sex**

I stood in my room, walking around the room while holding Lauren upright. She was awake, surprisingly, and hungry so I've been feeding her. I lightly patted her back as I walked outside of my room. It was hot, too hot and Lauren was getting rowdy of that as well.

Should I really meet Jackson later tonight? It's scary. What if Oliver, Leah, or my mom goes outside and sees me with Jackson? I hate sneaking around, but how else do I do this without people knowing about us?

Ugh, why am I saying us when we're not even together. What we're doing right now is so bad, I'm cheating on Oliver when I told myself that I would never do that and, ugh, I hate this.

I sighed and walked over to Lauren's bed, holding her with one arm, and reaching for a toy. I need to see a counselor, maybe one from Planned Parenthood? But why would I go to Planned Parenthood if I'm not even pregnant?

I started to Well I am having sex with Jackson, but it was that one time… then again, do I plan on going again? I gave the toy to Lauren and held her with both my arms, walking toward the door.

"Ash so irritating, I need Leah!" I said and walked over to Leah's room to see if she was awake.

I knocked on the door and opened it, stepping inside of the room. I found Leah on the computer typing something up. Leah turned to look at me and smiled. She turned her chair completely and put her arms out and started to wiggle her fingers. She wanted to carry Lauren.

I went to Leah and Leah put her hands on Lauren's small waist. Lauren started to sob, but Leah shushed her, setting Lauren on her lap, and started to move her legs up and down in a slow motion.

"So what does my sister need to talk about this time? Oliver? Jackson? Or the usual, both of them?" Leah asked, not looking up from Lauren. .

"Oh you know me too well." I rolled my eyes and settled myself across of her and onto her bed. I leaned back, letting my head hit the bed, and closed my eyes. "I'm just in a mixture of confusion and frustration." I scowled. "Oliver thinks I'm a faithful girlfriend, even if we don't like each other that way, or I don't, and I'm off with Jackson now and then. I'm a slut, aren't I?" I asked, making Leah laugh.

"Oh gosh, you're far from being a slut Lilly, you're just yourself, don't think too much of it!" Leah said.

I lifted my head so I could see her. Leah was lifting Lauren up now, trying to get Lauren to stand up and she was smiling.

"It's not my fault! I met up with Jackson last night and we made out and ugh, I just feel like I'm using him for _it_." I confessed making Leah laugh.

"And what's wrong with that? You guys are having an affair… Like I said, do what makes you feel good. You're lucky Oliver hasn't caught you two _yet_." Leah said and stood up, wrapping her right arm behind Lauren's legs with her left arm holding onto her back tightly, making Lauren put her head on Leah's shoulder.

"_Yet_." I sighed. "This is wrong. I mean, I love Jackson, but now that I think about it, all we did when we were together was have sex and go out on dates." I bit my lip and dropped my head back down on the bed.

"Well, that was a big part of your relationship anyway." Leah said and sat down beside me.

I rolled on my side and put my arm under my head while I looked at her. She was right, it was how we first got together anyway, but this is just so freaking confusing gosh.

"But relationships aren't supposed to be for sex." I sighed and then rolled on my stomach, crossing my arms under my chin and closed my eyes. "It's supposed to be for love you know?" I blushed and turned my head to the side opposite of Leah.

"I see… you're talking about making love huh?" Leah said in a soft voice and I blushed.

"Yeah. I know it's like practically the same time, but I feel so… I don't know." My face was a deep red color by now. "I used to believe that you're supposed to wait for the right person to come and you'd make endless passionate love when you found him." I sighed.

"Everyone dreams of that-"

"But I wasn't in love with Jackson at that point!" I took a few deep breaths and started to frown.

"Are you in love with him now? Again"

"I don't know… I guess." I shrugged. "I mean I told you multiple times before that I love him, but I don't know if he loves me for me or for sex."

"And you're saying what you had with Jackson wasn't making love but it was just plain sex?" Leah asked somewhat sounding confused.

I chuckled. "I don't know. I just imagined it… not as lusty and not as quick." I felt Leah move on the bed and soon I felt something on my back. I looked behind me and saw Leah putting Lauren on my back.

"How did you picture your first time?"

"Slow, romantic, and well, not _in _denial." I smiled. "I told you right? I thought it was a dream…" I sighed.

I started to think about my first time with Jackson.

I can't believe I thought it was a dream. Oh god, that was probably the worst time ever, seriously. I'm so dumb. It's something I regret and yet I don't regret. Is that weird? Ugh, here I go thinking about it again.

I shook my head and felt Lauren get off my back. I moved to sit up and crossed my legs, facing Leah as she laid Lauren on Lauren's back on the bed.

"Yeah you did." Leah said. "First times always suck, so don't worry about it… Remember, my first time was in a car? And I got pregnant right after that!" She said in disgust and I chuckled.

"Sorry it's just weird." I shook my head. "Sometimes I feel like you should've been the one to have Lauren. You did love that name." I pointed out.

"But I rather you have it. I still remember when I thought you did it with Oliver; you freaked out, but now look at what you did." She smirked.

"Shut up! Ugh, I know it's a mistake and it's like so confusing!" I exclaimed.

"I don't know what to say to you anymore Lilly. You have a lot of issues, I know, but you seriously have to make a choice. It's like a now or never choice and if you don't pick now and you pick too late, you'll be stuck in an even bigger problem."

I stared at Leah as she shrugged. She went back, paying her attention to Lauren as she took Lauren's toy kangaroo from her and touched the tip of the toy's nose to Lauren's.

Leah's right and I don't know what to say. She's probably tired of me complaining to her about my boy problems, which I do constantly go to her for. Seriously, I should stop this, but I can't. I can't choose one guy because the more I think about it, the more I'm finding the flaws in the relationship I once had with Jackson. What am I supposed to do? I should just finally talk to Jackson about this.

I sighed and reached for Lauren from across the bed.

------

I looked at the time and saw that it was nearing 2 AM. Oliver was sleeping, Lauren was sleeping, and all I had to do was sneak out without Oliver or Lauren waking up. I pushed my blanket away from me and quietly got off my bed. I tiptoed around the room and passed Oliver, quietly opening the door and slipped out.

I can't believe I'm actually going to meet up with Jackson tonight. Ugh. This is what I do when I really care for someone huh?

I quietly yawned and tiptoed the rest of the way down the stairs. I'm tired and yet I'm here going to meet Jackson. Damn me.

I went to the back door and slipped on some footwear as I opened the door and stepped outside. I was hit with still warm air and I took a deep breath of the fresh air. I quietly closed the door and walked down the steps from the patio and to the front. Just as I was nearing the front of the house, I felt a hand cover my mouth and an arm wrap around my waist, pulling me backward.

I was close to screaming when I heard his soothing voice say my name.

"Lilly it's Jackson."

His hand let go of my mouth, but pulled me back and to the side of the house. I was confused in where he was bringing me, but soon I realized he was bringing me into the shadows. We were to the side of the house, next to the kitchen window when he cornered me into the wall, turning me around so that I faced him, and wrapped his arms around me.

"Jackson I-" I started, but soon his warm mouth was over mine, attacking my lips.

His lips stayed over my mouth from my mouth until he moved it to kiss my cheek and then leaving butterfly kisses along my jaw line.

"Jackson." I said and kept my hands at my sides, feeling a little awkward at this state. I wanted to have a talk with him without him trying to do some sort of intimate act with me.

"Mhmm." He said as he continued to kiss me.

"Can we talk?" I said and felt his lips move over to my neck.

"We are talking." He said between kisses.

"I'm talking, you're kissing. I wanted to talk before we did anything." I replied and lifted my hands to his shoulders and pushed him away.

"Hey." He frowned and lifted his face, staring into my eyes. He frowned and I rolled my eyes.

"Please, talk, no kissing, no touching, nothing at all. I need this, please." I begged and he sighed while nodding.

"Kay," I exhaled and closed my eyes. "Do you love me Jackson?" I asked and opened my eyes, gazing up at him. He caught my eye once again and he smiled.

"Of course I love you. I never forgot you have I?" He said and I shook my head.

"That's not what I meant." I pursed my lips. "It just feels like all we do is kiss, touch, have sex… all throughout our relationship. Even now that's what we're doing and I have to know why… that's not how most relationships are and from the beginning we would have sex."

"Uh-huh" Jackson said and his brows furrowed. "What about it? We weren't like other couples you know?" He cupped my cheek, tracing my cheek bone with his thumb. "We made love because we love each other."

"Would you really call that love making?" I questioned and inched closer to Jackson. "Honestly Jackson, all I remember coming out of that relationship was sex, touching, kissing… and we only went out for half a year…"

"Are you testing me?" As words left his lips, I started to think of it.

I am testing him aren't I? I tilted my head and sighed. I don't know I'm always confused about my actions now.

"I guess? I don't know." I shrugged.

I felt his arms tighten around my waist and I looked at him, seeing a smile form at his lips. "Okay then…. I want to take you out on a date." He then said, moving onto a different subject.

I smiled and nodded. "I'd like that."

"Is Friday okay with you? You know… with Lauren and Leah and Oliver and Miley…" Jackson took a deep breath. "Wow so much people to worry about."

I rolled my eyes. "Yes tomorrow is fine. I'll ask Leah to take care of Lauren and maybe Miley could help her. Oliver has work. He just got another job…" I looked down as I trailed off.

I'm doing such a bad thing while he's busy… man I must be a bitch for doing something so bad to Oliver like this.

I guess Jackson sensed my uncomfortable so he kissed my forehead and held on to me tightly.

"It's okay Lilly… you're doing something your heart wants you to do… or so I think." Jackson said and I rested my cheek on his shoulder.

"I'm okay Jackson, it's just… the guilt gets to me. I'm doing something behind Oliver's back and-"

"The faster you choose the less guilt you'll have." Jackson whispered with force in his voice, almost as if he wanted me to choose him.

"Yeah…"

We stood there quietly for a few more seconds until Jackson started talking again.

"Lilly?"

"Yeah?"

His eyes slightly shone as the moonlight hit it and I smiled. I love how he looked like with the lighting. It always made him look peaceful, almost like the old Jackson I knew with the crazy long hair and fun weird idiotic boy. I guess it is true that as you grow older, you change and change is sometimes good. For me it's almost like it's going down the drain. I have a baby, I don't go to school, and I'm practically a bad example for teenagers. Damn.

"Although I do have one more request for you to do." He softly said with his right hand moving up to cup my cheek.

"And what would that be?" I asked glancing up at him.

He stepped closer and I backed up, pressing myself against the wall. He lowered his face to mine, placing his forehead upon mine and smiled.

"Tomorrow, I want you to tell Miley about _us_." He whispered.

My eyes widened and I gasped. "What? But…" I started only to be blocked by a finger pressed against my lips.

"Please Lilly; this is all I ask of you." He softly said. "I want to be open about this and I want someone other than Leah to know that you've been secretly seeing me. My sister shouldn't be all too mad since…" He trailed off, dropping his hand to his side.

"What?" I asked taking his hand in mine.

"…she loves Oliver." He smiled and his lips grazed mine for a second before he pulled back.

I smiled. "I know." I quickly kissed him, mimicking his movements.

"And you're not mad about it." He kissed me once again.

"Because I don't mind." I said and kissed him, but longer this time.

His smile grew once we broke apart. "I should let you rest." He replied. "You taking care of Lauren and everything." He said and I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Kay. I'll see you tomorrow, same time?" I questioned and he nodded.

"Yes." He smirked and leaned in for one final kiss. When he backed away, he put his hands behind his neck, where they were, and removed my hands from my neck, but holding onto my wrists. "You better choose soon… I'm really desperate to hear your answer." He whispered and kissed my cheeks as he let my hands drop. He walked off, leaving me to the side of the wall.

I stared at him as he stuck his hands in his pockets with his head down, and walking straight ahead.

Choosing. Why must choosing be so hard? It's either Jackson or Oliver… And I know for a fact that… it's leaning more toward Jackson. He's just being incredibly sweet and I love being intimate with him, but if all he's doing is using me for sex then I don't know what else to do.

I collected myself, taking a few breaths before finally going back into the house. I locked up, kicking my slippers to the side, and tiptoed back up the stairs to my bedroom.

I quietly opened the door, slipped in, and closed it, but as soon as I turned around, I saw Oliver laying down on my bed with the nightlight on next to the side drawer.

_Oh __crap_.

"Where were you?" Oliver's soft voice came from my bed.

I walked to my bed and slipped under the covers next to Oliver. "I went out to take a breather. I felt a little stressed because of the house work." I replied. I turned to my side, facing the opposite end of Oliver. Oh gosh, I hope I don't smell like Jackson. Oh no, I would be in so much trouble if I did. Dang it.

Suddenly, I felt the bed shift and there I felt an arm wrap around my waist. I stiffened under the arm and felt Oliver's body press against my back.

"What are you doing?" I asked and I felt Oliver's breath against my neck.

My cheeks burned as I closed my eyes tightly, afraid Oliver was going to do something to me. What is wrong with him? He never ever did this before.

"Can I just… sleep here tonight?" He whispered.

I bit my lip and shut my eyes. "I guess…" I quietly replied.

"Thank you." Oliver softly replied and I felt his lips meet the back of my head.

I lay there, still, just hoping Oliver would go to sleep soon, or at least now. I finally heard Oliver's heavy breathing and I loosened up a little bit.

How do I tell Miley? Jackson wants me to tell her that I've been… ugh this isn't working.

Damn I can't think clearly, stupid Oliver ruined it! I'm supposed to come back to bed and think about Jackson and Miley and everything else, but here he is sleeping next to me and I can't think with my '_boyfriend' _here while I think about my ex-boyfriend and his ex-girlfriend. So confusing.

Then I started to think again.

Theres nothing wrong with a girls sleeping next to a boy right?

Oliver is _supposed _to be my _boyfriend _in a way.

_In a way_? What the heck am I saying? He's my baby's dad for goodness sake!

I shook my head, only to freeze once again when I felt Oliver shift behind me. I lay still until he stopped moving and I relaxed a bit.

There is something wrong with this picture, I'm not in love with Oliver, but I'm with him. It's almost like I'm with him against my own freewill. I need to straighten this whole thing out and fast before everything just turns out into a mess once again. When will I ever learn my lesson? Seriously. I'm such a bad person and I dont know why people like me when I'm hurting them behind their backs. Oh Oliver, I'm sorry.

I sighed and closed my eyes. I guess I have to think about it, but there's too much to think about and I just need to… relax.

**A/N **Okay sorry if this update is short. And I hope you liked it. I know Oliver ruined it. XD I agree with Lilly.

Haha. I bet you guys thought this was a dirty chapter XD haha. Just kidding.

I have a question. What is one thing you miss about the Lilly/Jackson from Dreams? Well, not one thing, you can list multiple things, but I just wonder what people miss and this will seriously help me out with something I have planned.

I had the flu this week and I missed two days of school, but now I just have a cold. I have a three day weekend this week and yeah, maybe I'll get a fast update if I concentrate, but I kinda have a busy weekend with this club initiation and other stuff... but yeah I'll try to get working on the chapter.

Anyway you guys are super cool for leaving such awesomeness reviews, seriously lol. Thanks for reading!


	15. A Girls Night

**Chapter 15**

**A Girls Night**

"Are you sure you're going to be alright with Lauren and your parents?" I say with my heart thumping hard against my chest with nervousness as I set myself down on my bed.

Today Oliver is going over to his parent's house, perhaps he may even sleep over there and he's going to bring Lauren with him. You know how scared I am right now? I swear if anything happens to Lauren I'm going to die and I'm letting her alone with Oliver and his parents for one whole day. I never ever had that happen to me before and now I'm just hoping Oliver wont be in a car crash while I he gets to his parents house.

"Lilly relax! You have my numbers and my parent's numbers." He chuckled as he went toward one of the drawers of my room, digging in them and retrieving some clothes. "I don't even know why I'm taking clothes with me, I have clothes there too."

"I can't believe you waited until last minute to tell me! I hate you, you know that?" I spat at him while crossing my arms over my chest.

"Lilly, I'm sorry." Oliver sighed. "Look, Lauren and I will only be gone for a day, just relax! I wasn't even aware of it until my mom reminded me this morning. I thought I had a longer time to tell you, plus I forgot about it, is it my fault? Plus it's been forever since my parents and grandparents seen Lauren…" Oliver trailed off.

I shook my head and got up from the bed, walking over to Lauren who was playing in her crib. I reached down inside the white crib, bringing her up, and held her. I went toward Oliver and stood next to him, watching him search for something in the top drawer.

He pulled out a tiny box at the bottom of the drawer and walked turned around to go to the bed where his bag was. He slipped it in the bag and walked back toward me with a smile on his face.

"Don't smile at me." I hissed, and hugged Lauren tightly as I kissed her cheek. "You're taking the baby away from me." I frowned.

I continuously kissed Lauren's cheek, then her forehead, and other cheek, not wanting to give her to Oliver. Damn it, who knew being alone would be scary?

Oliver stood in front of me and sighed. "Look it's going to be hard Lilly since you've been with Lauren everyday since day one, but its going to be for only a day. If she doesn't like it at my parent's house then I'll come back okay?" Oliver said with pleading eyes and I frowned.

Just as I was about to hand Lauren over to Oliver, the door bell rang and I swiped past Oliver and out the door. More time with Lauren meant Oliver had to wait a little longer to leave.

I trotted down the stairs and went straight to the front door. I looked behind me, seeing Oliver staring at me from the top of the stairs. I smiled at him as I opened the door. I then looked outside seeing Miley and Emily.

"What are you…?" I trailed off as Miley enveloped me and Lauren in her arms.

"Lilly!" Miley said and kissed the top of Laurens head as she pulled back. She stepped aside so that Emily could come in.

As Emily came in, she stared at the baby in my arms. She never saw Lauren before and this might be a little awkward for her, or I'm guessing it is. Ah so weird!

"Hi Lilly." She waved.

"Emily!" I squealed and held Lauren with one arm as I wrapped my other arm around Emily. "This is Lauren." I said and Emily smiled.

"Hi…" Emily said as she took Lauren's little hand.

I stared at Emily, studying her features. She looks exactly the same red hair, hazel eyes, adorable smile, and slender yet curvy figure. The only difference in the way she looked was her curly red hair was now straight with highlights and long and she looked… how do I put this, _womanly_. As in, more mature and it's kind of nice. She's pretty and I'm jealous of her for being so pretty.

"Want to hold her?" I asked realizing that I've been staring at her too long.

Emily nodded and with that, Emily reached out and took Lauren from the sides. She stared at the baby in her hands and gently turned around so that Lauren was faced her. Lauren stared at Emily, wide eyed and there Lauren started to cry.

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, what am I doing?" Emily asked herself as she stared at Lauren.

I giggled and got ready to take Lauren myself, but then Miley took her.

"You're so funny Emily." Miley said and cradled Lauren with her arms.

"Hi girls." Oliver's voice said from behind me and I turned around as he reached the bottom step.

I looked over to Miley who was staring straight at Lauren, trying to get distracted as took a hold of Lauren's hand. I smiled at Miley and glanced at Oliver who was staring at her.

"Lilly, before I go, do you think you can check if I put everything in Lauren's bag?" Oliver asked as he tore his gaze away from Miley, scratching the back of his head as he looked down.

"Sure…" I turned to the girls. "I'll see you guys in a few… by the way, why did you guys come?" I asked as I lifted my eyebrows.

I never exactly asked them why they came over. I mean, I would think only Miley would come later, but with Emily here it's kind of weird. Last time I saw her was at my baby shower and it was nice, but here and now it's weird.

"We just wanted to talk." Miley replied only to lift Lauren in the air. She glanced at me and held that twinkled look in her eyes, kind of like she'll tell me the real reason why they were there after Oliver left.

"Okay, I'll be back." I said and got up the stairs to check on Lauren's bag.

----

When I was finished with Lauren's bag, Oliver only had a few diapers, hardly any clothes, one bottle, and nothing for her to be entertained with, which kind of got me mad. If he wanted to take Lauren out and not tell me about it, how will he be able to do it alone? What a nice father.

I sighed and shook my head. I left Lauren's bag next to his and decided to tell him to finally leave so I can find out the real reason why Miley and Emily surprisingly came over.

I got out of my room and headed down the stairs. For the 15 minutes I was in my room, I didn't hear any noise coming from down there which made me suspicious. Why would Oliver, Emily, and Miley be quiet when they're usually loud people?

I got down the stairs and went into the living room seeing only Emily holding Lauren in there, but no sign of Oliver or Miley.

"What?" I said to myself, looking around a bit confused.

Then I stared at Emily for a moment, watching her take care of Lauren and I smiled to myself, as I quietly left the room.

Where is Oliver and Miley? I asked myself. I shrugged and as I was going into the dining room when I heard hushed tones talking from the inside of the room. I leaned against the wall opposite of the dining room and listened closely realizing that it was a boy and girl talking.

The only boy and girl who were missing from the living room were…

I peered through the entrance of the dining room and there, Oliver and Miley stood quietly talking to each other.

"Just take care of her; I don't want her to get hurt." Miley smiled while putting her hands at his shoulders.

"I will, don't worry." Oliver quietly replied and stared down at the ground, trying not to keep eye contact. There was awkward silence for a minute or two until Miley started to talk once again.

"I miss you." She chocked out, keeping her gaze down as well.

I covered my mouth with my hands as my eyes widened. She just told him she missed him! Oh my gosh!

"Miley… Oliver sighed while shrugging Miley's hands from his shoulders. "I can't"

I gasped. Stop being a dumb ass Oliver. I scolded to myself as I continued to watch the two look uncomfortably at each other.

"Just tell me, truthfully, for the pass that you've been with Lilly you haven't thought of me and I'll let you go." Miley firmly said as she crossed her arms, biting her lip, refraining from frowning.

Oliver exhaled, shaking his head, and placed his hands on Miley's arms. He pulled her close to her and she tilted her head upward only to gaze into his eyes.

"Don't be like that." Oliver said as if it was a whisper and wrapped his arms around her.

Miley put her head on his shoulder, gradually hugging him as well. "Oliver, seriously, just-"

"If this makes you happy, yes I've thought about you for these past few months." Oliver held her tightly and pressed his cheek against the top of her head. "I missed you too, but I'm with Lilly now and I have a baby. My mistake and I have to be the better person, unlike my brother, and stay with them." Oliver truthfully said.

"So if you weren't in this mess, what would you do? Would you still be with Lilly?" Miley's muffled voice said with a hint of sadness in them.

"I don't know. I really don't know." Oliver sighed and raised a hand to Miley's hair, slowly stroking it.

I bit my lip, moving away from the entrance, and pressed myself against the wall.

Whoa.

Did I really hear clearly?

I blinked a few times and took a deep breath before looking back at the scene. Oliver and Miley came out of their embrace and blushed, clearly embarrassed at what they just admitted to themselves.

I pursed my lips and cleared my throat. "Oliver, I got the bag ready, you can go now!" I shouted before entering the dining room.

Oliver and Miley then wore a straight face on, standing about 10 feet apart, looking elsewhere.

"Okay, I'll get my things and I'll be off then." Oliver said as he awkwardly left the room. I could hear him run up the stairs and I smiled.

"Miley…" I glanced at her and Miley blushed.

"Shut up Lilly. Nothing happened." She started walking and as she brushed passed me, I took a hold of her hand.

"And yeah, you didn't admit that you missed him." I sarcastically said and wrapped my arm around her shoulders. "I'm okay with it Miley, seriously." I gave her a supporting smile.

"Okay, okay fine." She sighed and dropped her head in embarrassment as we went across the hall to the living room.

----

While Oliver was getting ready to leave, I gave Lauren about a thousand kisses. I swear letting her go off alone with her dad made me feel so scared. I can't believe I'm actually going to be alone for a while. I mean, I wanted some freedom, but with Lauren away from me is definitely harder than anything I let go of before. I guess it's the whole attachment between parents and their kids.

I sighed. We, Emily, Miley, Leah, and I, were in the living room and just talking. It's been 3 hours since they came here and they completely bore me. Apparently the reason for Emily and Miley's visit was all because of Leah. While she was hidden in her room while Oliver and I argued, she called the two to come over to hang out.

So here I am listening to these girl conversations and it's, well, boring. I'm here, freaking paranoid that something might happen to my baby and the rest are joking around and talking about, well, girl stuff.

"Lillerz, you need to loosen up." Leah said once she realized how tense I was.

She sat next to me and draped her arm around my shoulder, pulling me to her.

"I'm alright! It's just… Lauren and Oliver and the whole business." I frowned and Emily came to sit next to me.

"Lilly, we're here for you okay? Just know that." Emily smiled.

"Thanks." I shook my head.

I glanced at Miley who was sitting in the chair next to the couch. It made me think, I need to tell her now but it felt too early in the day to break the news that I have been seeing her brother behind everyone else's back. Man this is hard.

"Miley." I said and she looked at me with a smile on her face.

It's now or never, what do I choose?

"I..." I sighed.

"What is it?" Miley asked and I shook my head.

Gah! I choose never, or at least later!

"Never mind."

"What were you going to say?" Leah asked and I shook my head.

"Nothing, anyway," I got up from my seat and faced the girls sitting on the couch. "Let's party hardcore." I shouted making the rest of the girls laugh.

"Oh gosh Lilly, no." Leah shook her head and pulled me back down to the seat next to her.

----

The whole day was weird. Leah being there, Miley and Emily talking about random things. It seriously made me feel like how it used to be before I broke up with Jackson and got pregnant and all that great stuff I'm going through today.

Anyway, it was nearing midnight and we were getting into our little confession time. Apparently Leah has been keeping so much secrets and has been dying to let them out, but she still couldn't.

Miley admitted to her Hannah Montana life, no big surprise there, and Emily finally said that Riley, her boyfriend, asked her to marry her. It's so weird. Man, I love this, but it feels like I'm the only one who hasn't admitted to anything.

Sure I admitted that I had platonic feelings for Oliver, but other than that I said nothing about me and Jackson.

"Hey girlies, would you hate me if I brought out some yummy juice?" Leah said while smirking.

We sat in a small circle on the ground, watching, or not paying attention to a movie Miley put in, which was a Zombie High movie. Of course she would put it in, I mean her boyfriend and Hannah Montana is in it and I haven't seen it yet.

"Whatever. Pleases you my dear." I joked and watched Leah get up from her seat, heading for the kitchen.

I was staring at Emily and Miley who was now paying attention to the movie when Miley sighed. She looked guilty, kind of sad really. I'm assuming she's feeling guilty for admitting that she missed Oliver and it made me feel bad too. I just can't help but feel like a selfish bitch for taking her boyfriend from her.

"Miley you okay?" I asked and she tore her eyes from the TV, gazing back at me.

"Yeah." She chuckled and pulled her knees up to her chest, resting her chin on her knees. "I'm just thinking about Jake. He called about 5 times since I came here and I haven't answered one of his calls."

"Is there a reason why you're not answering his calls?" Emily asked making Miley blush.

"No, no, no. I'll just assume that he wants to talk about himself. I get very irritated with that fact." Miley raised her hands to her head and sat up straight as she pulled her brown curls from the bun it was in.

"Liar. You don't want to answer because of what happened earlier." I was half joking, half serious.

She shook her head and tried to keep a straight face. She opened her mouth to protest, but then Leah came back into the room holding 4 cups in her arms, a carton of juice, and some liquor.

"Oh yes." I hear Emily say.

She got up from her spot next to Miley to help Leah carry the things. She took the drinks and sat back down in our circle, putting it in the middle of us. Leah sat down and lay the four cups in front of her.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not drinking. Last time I did, I got stuck in a really big issue." I said.

"Come on Lilly, I just want to see how much you can handle." Leah went on. "Plus there aren't any guys here to have sex with unless one of us had, like, a sex change over the years. Come on!" Leah said as she filled up a fourth cup of juice, half way, and then finally took the clear liquid and poured it in the cup which I'm assuming is mine. She poured in enough until the cup was ¾ full of the mixture when she put the bottle down and gave me the drink.

"I'm only 17." I reminded her and she laughed.

"I'm only 21 and do you see me complaining? Miley is 17 too and she's going to drink some, right?" Leah looked at Miley who took her cup, which was full, and stared at it.

"Yeah." She forced a low laugh and just stared at the drink.

Emily, on the other hand, was already drinking her drink. "Oh my gosh, you don't know how long it's been." She said and continued to drink the substance.

I couldn't help but laugh at Emily. Who knew, seriously, that she can easily drink like that?

"Well, still yet, I can't drink. I told myself I wouldn't drink." I reminded Leah and she laughed.

"Think of everyone except yourself. Think of how easy it would be to confess something…" Leah hinted and I stared at her in shock.

"You know?" I asked and she nodded.

"Someone called me earlier today to make sure you would say something. I want you to accomplish what you promised to do." She said in a taunting voice and took her cup while taking a small sip from it.

"You're a bad influence you know that?" I said while taking a sip from my drink.

"Yes I know." She laughed and looked over to Miley.

I quickly glanced at Miley and realized that she was now drinking the juice as well. Ah stupid Leah for bringing this up. I wonder how long it would be until everyone is pretty wasted. I would love to admit it now but I'm just too scared. I would think I was more comfortable with telling Miley now, but actually trying to do it is kind of nerve-wracking.

I feel so stupid but Leah is right. You can get a lot out of a girl while they're under the influence. I used to get a lot of things out of Leah back in the day, or my parents did. She was more of the bad child in the family but she only got caught twice.

"Here I go." I took a deep breath and drank the rest of my drink quickly.

I'm such a bad person.

----

An hour later and already you could see signs that Emily and Leah were drunk. Yeah, they had a lot to drink and Miley and I just drank our second cup a bit slower, but I could tell the drink was taking effect. I felt a little light headed, but not too much. Somewhat just sort of regular with a bit of happiness, if that's possible.

"It would be interesting if Leah and Emily start to do something like strip or make out or something." Miley whispered to me as she started to giggle.

I looked up at the two girls. They were both sitting a little too close to each other. Emily had her hand set on Leah's thigh and Leah was pouring more drinks. They were talking nonsense in between pouring and drinking. Emily brought up some sexual act Riley liked to do, also known as the "Liger" or something and Leah just said she wanted to try the Liger. Oh gosh.

"This is funny." I murmured while setting my head on Miley's shoulder. I closed my eyes for a second and then remembered I had to tell Miley about Jackson.

"Damn it." I whispered and lifted my drink to my lips, taking a big sip of it.

"My face is all hot." Miley joked and lifted her hand up to pat the top of my head.

"Yessir." I said and nudged her. I took a deep breath. "Miley?" I asked.

"Yeah?"

"Can I tell you something, but you can't be mad if I tell you okay?" I said and pursed my lips. It was now or never. I can't stop now and it just felt too sudden. I hate this feeling, but I just had to tell her now.

My heart beat fast in my chest, but not as fast as I thought it would. Actually, I was a bit calmer than I expected, but I blame the drink. Maybe it wasn't too bad to drink every now and then? I shook my head damn me I need to tell Miley, but I keep getting side tracked.

I lifted my head from her shoulder and looked at her. She was staring at the two girls as they talked more about some random thing when Miley nodded.

"Yeah, I won't get mad." She looked pretty… how do you say… amused by the two girls.

Oh God I hope she won't pay attention to me.

I took a deep breath and finally let it out.

"I've been seeing Jackson for the past few weeks he's been here."

**A/N **Hope you liked this update!

Sorry about this chapter I was going to continue this but I desperately wanted to update this before I went to school lol. I know this chapter was fast and boring and one!

Thanks for everyone who told me to get better and… Yeah, I'll try and update soon, but the thing is I have my cousins coming from Germany for the next two weeks and apparently we're going to play tour guide. I'm sorry if the next update is even later. BUT I have an intersession coming up when the school quarter ends which means faster updates for a week I think lol. Anyway hope you liked this chapter!


	16. Confusing Night

**A/N People who read the first time I uploaded this chapter **Okay this is a different chapter. I hated the first time I posted this so this has a little more and I added one more part at the end. I wasn't aware that I was going to have internet access while I'm on my trip so I decided to make this chapter better.

**Chapter Dedication **to Daisy617. She's awesome, seriously.

**Chapter 16**

**Confusing Night**

"I've been seeing Jackson for the past few weeks he's been here."

I stared at Miley, waiting for her reaction, but she didn't do much except gawk at me, with a twisted look on her face. She almost dropped the drink in her hand until she carefully set it down near her feet.

"What?" She asked as if she didn't hear me.

I bit my lip and crossed arms over my chest. I looked down at the ground and sighed. "I'm sorry and I know you hate me and-" I started, but she shushed me.

I glanced up at her and saw she looked slightly happy. What the heck?

"Lilly, being mad at you is the last thing I want to happen, but what? I don't get it; I thought Jackson was with Kristy." Miley explained and I let out a loud relieving breath.

I smiled. "Well, he's been coming here everyday since I first saw him, but then you and Oliver got out of school so I hardly have time with him." I shrugged.

"Wow…" She said and pulled her legs up to her chest, staring at me dazed.

"Yeah… and I feel bad for Oliver, but I see that you're doing your work nicely with him." I winked. "That little confession you had out there." I said making Miley blush.

"Shut up!" She exclaimed and turned around to get a pillow. She threw it at my head and I dogged it.

"See, that's cute. You like him and you're not denying it, but you're too shy to say it out loud to me or anyone." I smirked making Miley blush even more.

"You suck." She stuck her tongue out at me.

"Thanks." I rolled my eyes at her.

There was awkward silence between us and when Miley finally came out and said something I never thought she'd ask.

"Have you two done it…?" She asked and I blushed.

"What do you mean it? We have done it before…" I trailed off only to gain more attention from Miley. Thank God Emily and Leah were busy doing whatever they were doing.

"Come on Lilly, you can trust me." She pressed and moved closer to me.

I blushed. "Isn't it obvious with what I did?" I asked and there her eyes widened.

"So you two really are together again huh?" She asked and I nodded.

"I guess but its something you can't say okay? I want to be the one to tell Oliver when I do." I sighed and Miley nodded as she picked her drink up and started drinking from it.

I took my drink and started to drink it even more. I felt happy that Miley wasn't mad or anything. She makes it like I'm doing something good, but I feel like its only because she likes Oliver, making her chances greater because she knows I have to let Oliver go one day… maybe this does mean I choose Jackson.

I smiled and finally gave in and drank even more than I intended to for the rest of the night.

------

After a few drinks, I felt lightheaded and weird. I was tired, but I wanted to stay up, I don't know I felt this weird hyperness within me and yet I just wanted to go and sleep. I don't know its some weird mixture of emotion, but it definitely wasn't what I felt when I drank at Jackson's 18th birthday party.

It was late in the night or early in the morning, however you wanted to say it and the four of us, Miley, Emily, Leah, and I, were gathered in a circle, taking shots and doing truths or dares. I never thought I'd ever play this game before, but it was quite interesting.

"I dare you to lick Miley's hand." Leah told Emily.

I stared at Leah and started to laugh at her. Lick a hand? What the hell, this isn't some sex fest of something. I shook my head and stopped for a second. I started to feel dizzy again.

I giggled like mad watching as Emily took Miley's hand and sat in front of her. Emily gazed down at Miley's hand and slowly picked it up, placing it over her mouth. She stuck her tongue out and pressed the tip of it to the palm of Miley's hand and started licking it.

I suddenly felt my pocket of my jeans vibrate, pulling me away from the two girls attention. I lazily reached for whatever was in my pocket and realized that it was my cell phone.

I flipped open my phone seeing that I received a text message. I read the text and found that it was from…

"Jackson." I whispered.

I looked at the clock. It was 2:47 AM.

He waited for me that long? I questioned myself and read the text.

'Where are you?'

Those three simple words got me worked up and curious with what Jackson had planned for the night. I felt as if I was sober again, but I knew for sure that I wasn't. I'm buzzed, I'm not going to deny it, but now I'm actually excited rather than tired, this is odd.

I got up from my seat, gaining stares from the three foolish girls.

I smiled. "I'll be right back." I set my phone on the ground and headed out toward the front door.

Just as I exited the house and closed the door, I felt arms grab me from behind. Before I could react to it, I was spun around and pulled into a tight embrace.

"Whoa." I gasped, but before could say anything more; I felt lips attacking my own.

My eyes widened, but soon closed sensing that it was Jackson all along. His tongue probed my mouth, rolling around into a forceful kiss. I placed my hands to the nape of his neck, slipping them through his short blond hair as he continued to kiss me.

We kissed for a few seconds until he pulled back. I opened my eyes, being greeted with disappointed look on his face.

"What?" I asked as I took a few strands of his hair and trailed them with my fingers.

"You're drunk." He simply said with no emotion in his voice at all.

It made me feel a little awkward that he was like this, but I didn't care for some reason so I giggled and moved to kiss his neck. I wanted to kiss him; I wanted some sort of prize for actually telling Miley I'm with him… or something like that. Ah… I'm going crazy… I need to stop. I parted my lips against his throat and suckled on the skin as he sighed.

"What if I am?" I questioned with my lips still attached to his skin.

"Remember what happened the last time you got drunk?" He asked let go of my waist and lifted them to my arms.

He rubbed my arms as if he were trying to calm me down, but why try to calm me down when I don't even need to be calmed down? I'm over reacting over this. I need to relax just a bit.

I removed my lips from his neck and gazed at him. "So I got pregnant. I can't get pregnant now, I'm on the shot." I replied and moved to kiss his earlobe. I nipped at it as he let out a soft groan.

I don't care for what I say, I might sound senseless, but at least I'm not like the people on the inside trying to conduct some sexual act between themselves. I have the real thing in front of me so why not make the best of it?

I grinned against Jackson's skin and I pulled him closer to me. With my tongue, drew circular motions on his earlobe.

Oh gosh I feel like a desperate horny girl right now, I need to control myself, but I can't.

"Lilly stop." Jackson said and firmly gripped onto my shoulders, pushing me back from him.

My eyes widened at what he did. What the hell?

"Why are you fighting me?" I said as anger rose in my voice." I didn't know what was coming over me. First I'm happy to see him, now I'm pissed off. I hate how I feel right now.

"Because you're drunk!" He shouted at me.

"I'm not! Gosh, I might've drank a bit, not too much." I told him and tried to kiss him again, but he turned his head.

"Maybe I should go… you rest ton-" He started when I cut him off.

"I told Miley."

I watched him under the moonlight as a small smile formed at his lips. At least he's smiling right? I grinned and he put his hands back to my waist. He hugged me tightly and kissed my cheek.

"Yes. You don't know how happy I am." He said as he gave me one last squeeze.

"She took it nicely… maybe it s because she hugged Oliver earlier tonight." I told him and he chuckled.

"How did it come out?"

"We were drinking and I just said it… a few minutes ago we were playing truth or dare too… Yeah, Emily is here." I said and smiled.

He ignored the fact that I said Emily was here and went straight for what Miley had to say. "This is great, Miley knows and she doesn't care!" He said happily as if he's been waiting for her to know for the longest time.

I giggled and watched him in his amazement. I loved it when he was happy like this. It made him look so cute and I love it. Gosh I love him so much, I just… maybe he is the one.

"At least I can finally talk to her about something." He said and I pulled back, gazing up at him.

"Ask her what?" I questioned. It wasn't like him to ask Miley anything at all. He was usually one to just do anything without thinking.

"It's nothing." He shook his head and sighed. "I'll see you tomorrow… I have to go." He replied and leaned in for a soft kiss upon my lips.

I nodded. I probably disappointed him for being a little tipsy that he had to leave. I never thought he would catch me drunk like this. I can't believe I forgot I was going to meet up with him.

I furrowed my brows.

Damn it.

I let of Jackson and stood there until he turned around and left. I watched him until I could no longer see him and went back inside the house. Man I hate myself for drinking.

When I reached the house, I was brought into a very interesting sight. There, I found Leah and Emily holding each other in a tight embrace while kissing.

Leah and Emily kissing! What? How could my sister… and Emily has Riley and… Whoa… This is awkward. I stared at the two until I finally snapped when I saw Miley take a picture of Emily and Leah.

She's going to black mail them. I shook my head and finally said something.

"What the fuck?" I said out loud, only gaining Miley's attention.

"Oh my gosh… Lilly." Miley giggled and got up from her spot, which was still on the ground, and got up to me. She pushed me out of the living room and into the hallway, there she broke down and started laughing like a maniac, holding onto her stomach.

"What the hell is going on in there? Leah and Emily? What?" I said as I tried to push Miley out of my way so that I could get into the living room.

"Shh!" Miley said and held me back. She caught her breath and bit her lip. "It was a dare and they have to do it for a minute. Sorry." She shook her head.

"Why are you sorry? You're not the one making out with my sister!" I exclaimed, but Miley shook her head.

"You ruin the fun… had a fun time outside?" She asked and I blushed.

"What?" I questioned.

She couldn't know that I was out there with Jackson, could she?

I glanced at her, and tilted my head, showing that I was confused.

"Shut up, I, or we saw you and Jackson outside showing love…" She chuckled and crossed her arms in front of me. I moved backward until I hit the wall of the hallway and stared at her.

She did see us, gah!

"We just kissed and I told him I told you!" I exclaimed but she rolled her eyes. She didn't believe me. Oh gosh, what a meanie.

"Yeah, whatever, well, lets go back in the living room to break the girls apart, they might actually do something more than kiss." Miley joked and put her hand firmly on my arm, pulling me inside of the living room.

There the two girls were sitting far from each other with both their faces red, clearly embarrassed. Leah had her hands over her face as she shook her head, but Emily sat down, staring straight ahead at the wall opposite of her.

"Did I interrupt anything?" I said as I cleared my throat.

The two looked at me and then started to giggle like they were trying to hide something.

"No way!" Leah said a little too loudly between her fits of laughter.

"It's nothing." Emily lied and crossed her arms.

"Yeah right." I rolled my eyes and sat down across of Emily.

So many things can happen while you're gone.

I shook my head and took my turn at truth or dare.

------

In the morning I woke up a bit early feeling a little, well, bad. I had a small headache, and I wanted to sleep. I was on the floor of the living room and beside me was Miley and Leah both sleeping. There was a large bottle next to Leah, which I'm assuming is the alcohol we were drinking last night.

I shook my head; I can't believe I drank last night.

I sat up from my position on the ground and looked around. I realized that Emily wasn't there anymore. I looked around the room and still Emily wasn't there.

Maybe she went home? I got up from the ground and started to look around the house. She wasn't in the kitchen, dining room, or hallways. I doubt she was upstairs so maybe she really did leave after what happened last night between her and Leah.

I was standing in the hallway, doing nothing, but staring straight ahead. If some random person were to walk into my house right now they'd think that I was a crazy person.

I shook my head and went toward the front door. I might as well go outside for a bit. Thinking too much and walking around is making me even dizzier and I hate having this stupid headache.

As I opened the door, I looked out seeing Emily leaning against the railing of the porch. Her arms were on the railing with her head bent forward. Her legs were slightly parted with her toes sticking outward. She looked, tired but peaceful at the same time. I wonder why she's outside.

"Hey." I said as I stepped out of the house and into the cool porch with the cold morning air hitting me. I crossed my arms over my chest as I walked toward Emily who was turned to me with a sheepish smile on her face.

"Hi." She softly said and looked back out across the street to the other house.

"What's up?" I asked once I finally reached her. I put my hands against the cold wood and leaned forward.

"I was thinking." She then yawned.

I glanced at her. Her fragile face looked soft, but creases were on her forehead showing that she is worried about something.

"About?"

Emily hesitated for a second. She shook her head and mo put her forearms against the railing while she entwined her fingers.

"Riley, Jackson, you, Miley, Leah, everything." She chuckled.

"Why me and everyone else? What's wrong?" I asked and she shook her head.

"It's stupid… but… I was thinking about when you and Jackson started to go out and how you guys started dating." Emily frowned and turned away from me, trying to hide her embarrassment. "Then I thought about how I started dating Riley and it's confusing."

I smiled. "Yeah, those were interesting times…" I looked down toward the front lawn.

"Were you serious when you said you're seeing Jackson now?" Emily asked.

I startled. I never knew Emily heard that, I thought she was just drunk and having fun with Emily while she had the time to have fun with her. Whoa… I guess people were paying attention to me and Miley's conversation.

"Yeah." I shrugged. "It's bad since I'm with Oliver, but I love Jackson… I never realized how much I really did care for him until recently and it sucks. I never want to feel like this when it comes to liking a guy. I hate that I'm not being faithful to Oliver, but I guess that's how I am…" I frowned and shook my head. "I'm stupid." I sighed.

"No Lilly, you're far from stupid." Emily assured me and I felt an arm touch my shoulder.

I looked at Emily and she stared straight down at me with a wide grin on her face.

"I see what you're coming from and you can't help it." She tapped my shoulder. "You know, if you really loved Jackson then you should go for him… and I know that's how we started out which I find somewhat ironic, but you should do what you want to do."

I grinned at Emily. "You're sweet. I love that about you… I just wished I never stole Jackson from you… I see how you two match and you both are pretty understanding… maybe you were meant for Jackson." I laughed making Emily shake her head.

"No thank you! I'm very much in love with my fiancé thank you very much." She said and looked back outside and onto the road.

"But how would you feel if you had another chance would Jackson, would you take it?" I stared hard at Emily as she dropped her head, thinking about it.

Her face scrunched as she closed her eyes. She really was thinking about it, but I needed to know. He is the only girlfriend I'd ever ask anything like this to and it was because I trust her delay. She's one of my closes friends, new friends now and I wonder if she would tell me, truthfully, if she would go back out with him.

"I don't know… you're with him now so does it really matter?" She raised her eyebrows at me and I shrugged.

"I guess not."

She's an amazing person. Even if I was the cause of her and Jackson's break up, I wonder how life would be if I hadn't slept with Jackson in the first place.

**A/N **Sorry short update. I've been busy this week and I'm going on a trip for 4 days and I'm leaving in 15 minutes lol, but anyway, when I come back I should have a LOT of updates since I don't have school next week.

I'm not usually one to ask about reviews and stuff, but then I noticed a shrinkage in reviews and hits. Slightly that is. I'm just wondering if you're still reading this. Sorry it's my paranoia that gets to me that not much people are enjoying this fic anymore. And someone says it looks like I don't have ideas for the fic lmao. I do I guess putting the big drama parts are making it seem like I don't have anymore ideas. I guess I'll just rush it.

Kay, this is a serious **question/poll **whatever you want to call it. I was talking to someone coughDaisy617cough and I'm pretty curious in what you all have to say or feel about this.

How would you feel if Oliver died? Do you want Oliver to die?


	17. Just The Beginning

**Dedication **to Daisy617 just to make her happy XD jk jk because she helped me out a bit :D

**Chapter 17 **

**Just The Beginning**

After the talk with Emily, it somewhat made me feel a little over protective of being with Jackson. She kind of made me realize I should me happier with him than with anyone else. Even if she made me feel bad for taking him away from her, it also made me feel bad for cheating on Oliver. I need to break the news to Oliver that I don't want to be with him, but I didn't know how. It was frustrating to even think of the consequences it will leave me with once I tell Oliver how I feel. God, It hasn't even been a year yet and already I'm feeling like I need to get away from Lauren and Oliver. I'm horrible.

It's already Friday afternoon and tonight is my date with Jackson. I didn't know what to wear or do; all I knew is that I needed to look pretty for Jackson. Oh gosh, I hope Oliver doesn't know about the date tonight.

I was looking through Leah's wardrobe in her closet with Leah behind me, holding onto Lauren. I couldn't find anything in my own closet. It was full of my old skater clothes which I didn't wear anymore.

After having Lauren, I didn't skateboard or anything I normally did during the week which is kind of sad. I sort of feel like I'm turning into Leah because I don't skateboard or hang out with my friends anymore. I just haven't found the time to skateboard and I'll be amazed if I forget how to skateboard.

Before getting pregnant, I would always think that I would turn my own child into a skater chick, sort of like me, but now I don't feel like it. I've grown distant toward many things and I don't even want to spend time outside, apart from being with Jackson. I love spending time with Jackson and the date tonight is something I desperately need.

"Leah!" I groaned as I pulled out a floral skirt. There was nothing in her closet that looked cute!

"Calm the heck down Lilly!" She got up from the bed and set Lauren down on the bed between pillows. Then she went to her closet and looked through her own clothes.

"I can't! I'm nervous. You know, the last time I went on a date was when I was still dating Jackson? I've never went on a date with Oliver." I said as I looked from Lauren to Leah.

Lauren lay quietly on the bed while biting on her mitten. Leah on the other hand shuffled furiously through her clothes, trying to pick out a skirt for me to wear. I feel bad now, but I do need help! I don't have a sense of fashion.

"Who knew you were such a picky person." She huffed and shuffled around until she pulled out a miniskirt. "Here." She handed it to me and I smiled.

"Thanks Leah."

The skirt she chose was a black ribbon waist pleated miniskirt. It was cute, if only I could find a top to go along with it.

Then, Leah threw a black striped lace camisole at me which went perfect with the bottom. Oh, did I mention I loved the color black now?

"Perfect." I purred and smiled as I left Leah alone in the room to change into the clothes.

Amazing how I can be happy with what Leah puts together, but I can't even find something perfect for myself. I hope the clothes aren't too casual enough. Last date Jackson brought me to was so perfect and fancy; I can't imagine him taking me to another fancy date.

---

I stood in the bathroom, staring back at my reflection. I looked… Ugly.

My hair was down and curled, thanks to Leah, but it made my face look fat. My outfit, it was perfect, but my arms looked saggy and my thighs were too fat, not that it didn't look fat before, but it just made me think all my fat from my pregnancy came back and I came fatter!

Argh!

I sighed and started to add lip gloss to my lips. Then I added eyeliner and I just felt like I didn't match. I hated how I look, but I'm doing this for Jackson. I dropped my makeup on the side and looked down in the sink.

I felt sick. I'm getting nervous and self-conscious and I didn't need this right now. I usually didn't care for the things I wore, but now I am. What the hell is wrong with me?

I pursed my lips and tried to shake it off, but I couldn't. I didn't even know what time Jackson is coming.

Oh my gosh. Jackson. What if he doesn't come? What if all this was just a lie. Man what the hell am I thinking?

I took deep breaths trying to calm myself down, but it wasn't helping at all. I'm too nervous and I needed to seriously calm the hell down, but I can't.

I put my hands over my face and tried my best to relax, but nothing was working at all.

"Ah!" I shouted and sighed loudly. "Nothing is going right." I bit on my lip hard and crossed my arms.

"What's not going right?" I hear someone say behind me with arms wrapping around my torso.

I quickly turned my head seeing Jackson there.

"What the heck? When did you come in?" I asked him a bit puzzled. I sounded a bit pissed off, but I wasn't. I'm just frustrated and nervous and now that Jackson is actually here, it's just nerve-wracking.

"I have a key, remember?" He said and looked at me through the mirror. He grinned. "You're beautiful as ever." He kissed the side of my head.

"Uhh…" I blushed and looked down. I couldn't believe he's seeing me like this. I hate how he surprises me, but it's still cute that he's actually trying.

"Better get ready soon, I'll be with Leah." He said and kissed my cheek as he let me go, leaving me alone in the bathroom.

I exhaled loudly and glanced up at my reflection. I guess I didn't look too bad.

I blushed bright red.

How can he make me change my mind so fast? Oh gosh my heart.

I placed my hand over my chest feeling it beat fast.

He's so sweet. Oh gosh, I'm even more nervous now. I hope this isn't going to be a fancy date. Ah! Why didn't I look at Jackson's clothes for a just in case it is a fancy date?

I shook my head and finished getting ready.

----

I sat in Jackson's car next to him. He was concentrating on the road and he was dressed casual too, I guess this wasn't a fancy date after all.

I side eyed him and he saw me looking at me and smiled.

"Are you nervous?" Jackson asked as he let go of the steering wheel with one hand to put it over my hand which was on my lap.

I turned to him and smiled. "No, not at all." I lied and he chuckled.

"Relax Lilly." He softly said. "Think of this as a date, a first date between two people who have never dated before."

I nodded. "Okay, I think I can do that." I looked down at my lap.

"We're going to the movies okay and just be yourself. Forget about Oliver, forget about Lauren. Lauren is in good hands, she's with Leah." Jackson assured me and I smiled.

"I will, I will, don't worry about me." I laughed. "Think of me as a nervous girl who is going on her first ever date." I shook my head. "That's kind of how I feel right now."

Jackson let go of my hand and put it on the steering wheel as he took a steep turn.

"Great, now let's get this date going."

----

The movie was great; we had a lot of fun. We watched some random comedy, which the name of the title escapes me, but it was hilarious. I laughed a lot and Jackson did too. It kind of felt like how it was before everything in my life now happened. It was very… nice.

After the movie, we walked around the mall, held hands, took booth pictures, and had a simple teenage sort of date, something I'm _supposed _to have at this age.

We were still walking around the mall and it was only 8 at night so we had a long night ahead of us. Oliver knew I was going out, and thanks to Miley, she told him that I was going to have a big make over sort of thing and I would be home pretty late.

Jackson and I were passing a few stores in the mall with his hands interlaced with my own. Jackson, of course, was smiling proudly at himself as he brought me around, buying me a few useless stuff nonetheless cute at the same time.

This date seemed so casual and regular; I guess I'm sort of happy he didn't bring me to something big like the last time.

"Hey you!" Jackson said, ripping me out of my thoughts.

I glanced at him and he pointed to the stage in the middle of the shopping center. There was a group performing onstage, singing a song which was sort of slow and romantic at the same time. It sounded more of a metaphoric song and it sounded beautiful.

Before I knew it, Jackson was bringing me closer to the stage and chairs and over to the side where the speaker was. I looked at the singer and smiled. A beautiful young girl, who looked about the same age as me, was singing her heart out. She had blonde hair and wore a silky white dress and heels.

Wow, she's really good, this must've been a talent show, but she did sing it well.

I subconsciously swayed from right to left as I listened to the girl sing. Jackson let go of my hand to wrap it around my waist and dip his head toward my own.

"Let's dance." He whispered and I shook my head.

"No, I want to watch." I replied as I hugged myself. I was so transfixed on the girl, it was weird.

Then Jackson appeared in front of me, blocking my view from the girl and placed both his hands on my hips. He closed in toward me and smiled.

"Come on." He whispered as he grinned.

I blushed. "No, we can't… people are watching and I would hate it if I stole the spotlight from the girl." I replied as I dropped my gaze to the ground.

Jackson moved in closer to me and hugged me. "There's no need to be embarrassed. You wouldn't steal the spotlight from her… she's great and you know you want to dance… you have that look in your eye." With that, Jackson pressed his cheek against the side of my head and then started to sway his hips.

I closed my eyes and followed him, I knew I couldn't do this, but it was only for a second right?

"Just pretend that it's only the two of us here… forget everyone else." He whispered in my ear, thus blocking everything out except for me and the song the girl was singing.

I reached for Jackson's shoulders and put my hands there as I swayed with him. Jackson pulled me closer and I felt his lips against my ear.

"You're beautiful… I love that you came here with me tonight." He whispered and I sighed.

"I'm happy I came with you tonight." I replied back and pursed my lips.

We dance to the rest of the song and a few minutes later, the song ended. When we finally pulled away, I smiled brightly at Jackson and he smiled right back at me. He leaned to kiss my cheek and I looked around seeing a few other people dancing near us.

I blushed a bright red color and Jackson chuckled.

"Don't you feel better that we actually started something?" Jackson asked and I shrugged.

"I never really was the starter of anything, now can we please move on? I feel a little embarrassed." I bit my lip and looked down as Jackson pulled away from me to lace his fingers with mine and took me away from the crowd clapping at the girl who was now walking offstage.

We were walking toward one of the exits by now and I was a little confused. Were we going home already?

"Where are we going Jackson?" I asked as we walked toward the parking lot, but on the opposite end of where we parked.

It was surprisingly already dark out and really nice. It wasn't too hot or too cold, kind of the perfect type of weather for a good night.

I smiled and leaned against Jackson as he led me across the parking lot. He didn't answer my question and I just ignored the fact that he did. I know he wanted to make this night as casual and normal as possible, but what other bright ideas does he have for me tonight? I'm having a lot of fun even if I sound like I'm not, I guess I'm just happy that I'm actually out on a date with him.

I noticed that across the street from us was a park. What was Jackson going to do with bringing me to a park?

Jackson started crossing the street with a wide grin on his face. I glanced at him.

"What are you doing?" I asked and Jackson looked at me.

"We're going to have fun."

"We're already having fun." I said and looked back at the park. It wasn't any ordinary park, it was a skate park.

"Jackson." I warned, but Jackson ignored me and pulled me into the park and toward a little shop near it.

A skate shop.

"No way." I said and I knew what he was going to do.

He's going to make me skateboard.

He pulled me into the shop and went directly toward the cashier who had his back faced to us. When he turned around, I gasped seeing that it was none other than Stephen.

"Hey guys!" He smiled at the two of us and Jackson went to shake his hand.

"You got it?" Jackson asked as he raised his eyebrows.

"Wait man, seriously." Stephen said and faced me. He was dressed in black shirt, black cargo pants, and black shoes.

He's very black tonight, I wonder if that's their uniform. His dyed blonde hair now sprouted upward and was spiked with red highlights at the tips. He looked pretty hot, I'll admit that.

"Hi Stephen, do you know what Jackson has planned tonight? If he's going to make me skate, tell me now before I die." I told him and he chuckled. He reached for under the table and brought out black and pink shoes. He handed them to me and then took a skateboard, kneepads, elbow pads, and a helmet and handed them to me.

"have fun." He smiled and left the articles on the counter.

I glared at Jackson. "I'm not doing this." I told him and Jackson frowned.

"Come on, you can do it Lilly, please, for me." He pouted and leaned forward with his head pressed against mine.

My eyes drifted down toward his lips and I sighed. I moved to kiss him, but he instantly pulled away.

I groaned. "What was that for?"

It wasn't like him to pull away like that, but why did he d that? He would usually let me kiss him, apart from the night I was slightly tipsy, but he still let me kiss him a little.

Jackson shook his head. "Like I said, treat this as if it was a first date. Do people kiss on the first date?" He questioned.

"No they don't, but we-" I started back but he placed his finger against my lips.

"See, now there, put these on and I'll meet you outside. We're going to have fun tonight Lilly." He replied and left me alone in the shop with Stephen. I gave Stephen a warning look and he stepped back with his hands in front of him.

"Don't blame me, he wanted to make this night special." Stephen said and I shook my head.

The things I do for Jackson, seriously.

----

When I walked out of the shop, I felt a little weird. I never expected to be in shoes, skate gear, and holding a skateboard at that during a date. I'm in a freaking skirt too so what if my skirt just went up giving whoever was at the skate park a little show of my panties?

Ahh! that would suck.

I shook my head and as I went into the park, Jackson wasn't around. In fact, no one was around, just me. I started to freak out. Did Jackson just abandon me?

"Jackson?" I called out, but heard no one.

I stopped walking, but soon heard something from behind me. I turned around and there saw Jackson skating toward me on his skateboard. He stopped right in front of me and got off his skateboard.

He was smiling widely with a few drops of sweat on his face. He wiped it with the back of his head and he put his hand on my shoulder.

"Are you ready?" He questioned and I shrugged.

"I don't know, it's been a long time since I've done anything like this. You know, you should've told me we were coming here, I would've worn pants and shoes.. Unlike my little sandals and this skirt." I told him and he laughed.

"What are you afraid of? The old Lilly I knew wouldn't care if she was wearing a skirt or in heels. She would just be happy to be going to the skate park and doing some random moves to impress people." He grinned. He reached forward and tapped the tip of my nose. "Just have fun Lilly, if you need help I'm here."

I nodded and set my skateboard on the ground. I looked at Jackson and he held his hands out. I took them and put a single foot on the skateboard.

"Get your balance and put your other foot on it." He told me and I nodded and carefully put my other foot on it. I was standing on the skateboard with my legs shaking.

Oh gosh, I can't believe I'm doing this. It's almost been a year since I've last skated, does he not know that I might die if he lets me go? Ah I can't believe I'm going to skateboard.

I let out a shaky breath as he started to walk a bit.

"Do you remember how to skateboard?" He asked and I shook my head.

"Come on Lilly, you must!" He said and I shook my head again.

"I'm too scared!" I said and Jackson laughed. He stopped moving at this time and looked straight at me. I returned his gaze and he smiled. He slowly dropped my hands and I relaxed a bit.

"You know you can do this right?" He said and I nodded, but then shook my head. "

"I can't." I whined and he chuckled

"Well you're balancing on your own and I doubt you can forget how to skateboard just because you haven't skateboard in a long time. You must know how to go straight." He replied and I nodded.

With that I took a deep breath and moved my feet to the ground so that I started to move forward. I smiled and suddenly felt a little refreshed. There, I started moving forward, turning a bit to the right and moved toward a small ramp. There I went over it and then turned around again. I stopped and grinned at Jackson.

"I told you so." He replied and I laughed.

"Fine fine, I'll actually try this time, but I won't go on big ramps okay? And don't watch me! I'm going to get nervous!" I shouted at him making him laugh out loud.

"Okay fine, I'll just skate on my own." He said and got on his own skateboard.

Just as he got on, I started moving again and hit the small ramp again. I skated toward a little bigger ramp this time and suddenly gained the confidence to do a kick flip and it was successful!

"Yessir!" I shouted and skated toward Jackson.

He saw my kickflip and he was clapping! "You lied, you didn't forget how to skate." He shouted toward me and I quickened my pace toward him.

His eyes widened once he realized I was moving toward him, but he didn't move. There, I jumped from my skateboard and toward him. He thrust his hands forward and caught me as we both met the ground.

He groaned in pain and I hugged him tightly feeling a little relieved. I never felt so excited in my life. Ever.

"Ah I love you so much Jackson." I squealed and kissed his cheek.

He gazed up at me and smiled as he moved his head forward, planting a small kiss upon my lips.

"Hey!" I said once he pulled away.

"What?" He asked and I smiled.

"You said no kisses on first dates." I pouted.

He kissed me once again and softly chuckled. "Well, like you were going to say, we kissed on our first date, well not really first date, we kissed before we even went on a date." He remarked and I shook my head.

I love Jackson. He's bringing back so many memories and I love that about him. The nights still young and I wonder what else he has planned for this perfect night. I'm happy I decided to go on this date after all.

**A/N **Kay sorry, the only reason why I was asking who was reading is that if much people aren't reading then I would've put this on hiatus for about a month and continue on one of my other fics which are on hiatus right now.

While writing the little dance scene in the mall, oh my gosh, I felt so weird. I was like listening to the song _Sober _by _Kelly Clarkson _and yeah. I love that song sigh.

Okay, there's a second part to this, which is the next chapter. I never realized that this chapter was going to be so long! Lol. Are there any suggestions in what you want to happen in the second part to the date chapter? Oh man, so many things could just happen in one date :D


	18. Almost Perfect

**Chapter 18**

**Almost Perfect**

After going to the skate park, Jackson and I were driving off, I don't know where to, but he had yet again another bright smile on his face. After his little stunt at the park, I was ready for anything. I didn't mind that he was being exceptionally cute and acting like nothing bad between us ever happen, it was almost prefect. I was shocked that he actually took me skateboarding, which was something I hadn't thought of doing since I had Lauren.

Everything seemed so perfect and different at this point and I wonder where he is talking me to.

Jackson drove straight ahead until we reached a steep turn taking us toward a beach, a very odd place to go at a time like this. It's almost 9:30 PM.

"Jackson, where we going now? Will you just tell me?" I questioned as I reached for his arm. I squeezed it and he sighed.

"Well, you'll see, we're almost there." He said and then started to drive off the road as he entered the beach area.

I didn't even know we were allowed to drive on the beach, ugh, I hope he knows what he's doing.

He suddenly stopped dead in the middle of the beach where a blanket lay right ahead of us. I was slightly taken aback at the sight of the blanket and what looked of a single rose with basket in the middle. There was what looked to be a candle there, but was then blown from the slight winds of the beach. It looked adorable. Jackson left the headlights of the car pointing toward the site, but turned off the engine. From there, he hopped out of the car and ran around to open my own car.

"What's this now?" I asked him as he took my hand and smiled at me. He led me toward the blanket and let me down so that our backs were faced against the light.

"Well, I decided, why not a late night picnic right?" He asked as he took the rose atop of the basket and handed it to me.

I took it and sniffed it, smiling foolishly at myself. I set it on my lap as I watched Jackson open the picnic basket.

"How do you know that the food isn't poisoned? It was here and we just got here, maybe some homeless dude took some food or something." I told him as he chuckled.

"Don't worry, I told Miley to come here before we left the skate park and set it up. She stayed until she saw the car…" He responded and looked around. "So she might still be here." He sighed and leaned over to kiss my cheek.

"Why set all this up for me Jackson?" I questioned as I gazed up at him.

He only had a smile on his face as he pulled out a sandwich from the basket. He handed me the sandwich and smiled moving the basket from between us so that he could sit next to me.

"You deserve to have fun and do normal things teenagers are doing. You've been miserable for a long time and…" He lowered his head and sighed. "I still love you Lilly, I never did forget about you. I could never let you go even if you were with Oliver. I forgive you and all the things you did because it's hard for me to let you go." He shook his head and turned to me. His deep blue pools staring at my own as he reached for my hand between us. "You mean so much to me and I get forget about you just because of a mistake you did…" He sighed.

I smiled and moved in until our lips touched. We kissed for a few seconds and I broke the kiss with a smile on my face.

"You know what to say to make a girl melt. If only I didn't do what I did with Oliver, we would still be together." I whispered and kissed him again.

This time he kissed me back with his head slightly tilting. His free hand grazed my cheek, holding me in place until he pulled back.

"Let's eat before our food really does get cold." He smiled and reached for his sandwich which still was in the basket.

I smiled and looked at the sand and found a tiny piece of coral rock in the sand. I set my sandwich on my lap and looked at Jackson as he took a bite of his sandwich. There, I threw it at his head and he gasped.

"Hey!" He exclaimed and he looked at me to stick his tongue at me.

"Hey right back at you, you freak." I rolled my eyes and playfully pushed him on his shoulder.

He took another bite of his sandwich and chewed a bit before opening his mouth, showing me bits of the meat and bread in his mouth.

I gagged and turned away, biting into my own sandwich.

"Nasty." I shot at him and he chuckled only to bite into his sandwich again.

This is going to be an interesting night.

----

After eating out sandwiches and having a couple of drinks, Jackson and I started to talk and walk on the beach. I left my sandals and cell phone back at the car and I didn't care at this point. I didn't want to talk to Oliver or Leah or anyone right now. I just wanted some peace and quiet with Jackson.

Jackson had his fingers laced with mines as we walked on the edges of the water. The small waves came ashore and back into the ocean, hitting our feet as we walked. It felt nice and the water wasn't too bad either. I would go swimming now, I really would, but then it would be odd if I went home. Oliver would question and I wouldn't know what to say.

I'm not at Miley's place so I wouldn't be able to change. Mr. Stewart would question why I was there with Jackson to just change. I could never do that, especially since he knows about little Lauren.

"Lilly what's wrong you seem tense?" Jackson said.

I shook my head and forced myself to smile.

I didn't know what was wrong with me either, I was just, I guess, scared. I shook my head; all these things could happen tonight and I want to make tonight perfect, but I don't think I can make it perfect if I don't chose who I want to now.

"Jackson, if you were in my position, what would you do?" I asked him as we stopped walking. We still held hands and Jackson gazed at me with a small smile on his face.

"Honestly?" He asked and I nodded.

"Like I want to know something that's not the truth." I rolled my eyes and leaned against him.

"Well," He took a deep breath. "I would do what you're doing now. I would be with the woman I got pregnant and stay with them. I know it's my fault and I understand why Oliver is being overprotective when it comes to you and talking with me." Jackson shrugged and let go of my hand to wrap it around my shoulders. "What you're doing _is _wrong, but I made most of it happen by leading you back to me."

I shook my head. "No you didn't." I replied and put my arms around him so that I was hugging him. "I was wrong to still be in love with you and what I'm doing by seeing you while I'm with Oliver is wrong. Everything I'm doing is wrong, but I can't help it. I…" I took a deep breath. "…love you."

I pressed my face into Jackson's shoulder and Jackson kissed the top of my head.

"I feel the same way. How I see it is… you and Oliver are driven together over lust-"

"But I'm not lusting after Oliver!" I exclaimed. "My feelings for him are platonic and I would never…" I shook my head.

All these emotions I felt are once again hitting me and it's my fault. Damn it, I must sicken Jackson, I wanted this night to be special for us, but here I am ruining it once again.

"I get it Lilly, don't worry." He sighed. "Look you're a strong person and I'm happy that you love Lauren and just being with Oliver seems right to you, but one day-" He started and I shook my head.

"I'd choose you." Those words left my mouth and I pressed my face harder against Jackson's shoulder out of embarrassment.

We stood in silence and Jackson enveloped me in his arms. I felt him kiss the top of my head, trailing down until he met my ear. There, he started to whisper into it.

"Let's go… I have one more place I would like to bring you before I take you home." He whispered and his hands dropped from my waist, moving to both my hands. He grasped on them and I gazed up at him as I nodded.

He let go of one of my hand and pulled me to his car.

----

When we got to his next spot, I never expected him, Jackson, to bring me back to this place again. Again. Seriously… last time I came here was when he lived here and we were… together.

It was the studio.

Miley's studio.

I gaped at the dark and empty studio and once again, like what Jackson did at the beach, he ran around the car and opened my car door as he led me out. He pulled me toward the door and there, he took out his keys and unlocked the door.

"Jackson, can't we get in trouble for coming in here at this time?" I questioned as he shook his head.

"No, never. We all are allowed to come in here. I'll just lock the door you know?" He opened the door and pushed me inside.

When I looked at him, he was locking the door from the inside and there, he grasped on my hand and quickly led me down the hall to Hannah Montana's room. He unlocked that door and when I entered it, the room looked the same.

The couch was at the same spot, the instruments, everything… it made me wonder if Jackson would give me his little drum lesson like that first time. This place gave me a warm feeling and it was kind of weird actually.

I instantly felt Jackson's arms wrap around me from behind as he kissed my cheek.

"Some surprise huh?" He asked as he held me close.

"You're very… surprise-y today." I grinned as I put my hands over his.

I looked around and spotted the one instrument I can actually play. Maybe it was time for me to actually surprise him this time. I grinned and shoved Jackson's hands aside and turned around.

"Are we allowed to play around?" I asked as I pouted.

He smiled and nodded. "Sure I guess." He said and left my side to turn on the darkly lit room.

As soon as the light turned on, I went over toward the acoustic guitar and picked it up. There, I took it with me as I went to the couch to start playing. Jackson noticed me and sat down next to me as I started tuning the guitar.

"You can play?" He questioned and I smiled, only to start playing a slow tune.

"Does this surprise you?" I shot back at him, only to gain a kiss on my cheek.

"Yes it does. I didn't know you could carry a tune after the last time we played the drums." He chuckled and wrapped his arm around my shoulders.

"You're so…" I shook my head. He's amazing, sweet, everything I want and yet I have a problem blocking the both of us from getting together.

"You know what's hot?" He asked as his fingers moved up my arm that was holding down the keys.

"What?" I asked as I continued to strum the guitar.

"You plus guitar wearing nothing. Oh yes." Jackson started to nod.

I laughed and set the guitar down. There, I brought my hand up to his face, softly slapping him.

"Pervert." I giggled.

Jackson put his arms around me as he pushed me down on the couch. His body on mine as he showered me with kisses. I only put my hands on his shoulders, allowing whatever he wanted to do to me.

He kissed my lips, nose, eyelids, and cheeks, just everything on my face and then stared down at me. He continued to smile and I lifted my hand to his face, cupping his cheek as my thumb caressed his lower lip.

"Why did you want to make this date so ordinary instead of fancy?" I asked him and he just dipped his face down to kiss me once again.

"You deserved a normal ordinary date. Fancy dates are fun, sure, but when you're on an ordinary date, from what I saw, you acted like yourself… the Lilly I used to know before she turned into the emotionless house mom." He said and once again kissed me deep.

He was right. From what we did, most of the night it felt like I was still a teenager instead of some mother who made a mistake. I felt so different and good and I loved that about this date.

Jackson stopped kissing me and moved to his side on the edge of the cough. He had his arm over my stomach as we started to talk about nonsense things, more like the past and I loved it. We had so much to talk about and by now I wish, just wish Lauren was Jackson's baby and not Oliver's.

I know that I would be happier with Jackson and that's what's sad. I'm being forced to be with Oliver and that's not good. I shouldn't be forced into a relationship just because of a mistake. I should be with someone I love and… apparently Jackson is it. He's everything I need right now.

I closed my eyes as I listened to Jackson's soft voice. I hadn't realized that I drifted off to sleep, but it just felt nice to listen to someone talking so sweetly to you when you have a big problem to face.

----

I felt hands running across my tummy with lips pressing against my neck. Fingers traced my lower jaw as it pushed my chin up. I felt a warm hot tongue moving up my throat and to my jaw line, and then kissing my chin.

I let out a shaky breath as I opened my eyes, gazing into deep blue ones. We were still in the studio, but the room was dark again, but I have no complaints there.

"Jackson." I whispered only to feel his hands slip into my shirt, pushing it up over my chest.

"Shh." He whispered only to kiss me on my lips once again.

I lifted myself up so that he could remove my shirt and there, he took of his shirt as well. He placed a chaste kiss upon my lips before moving down, my neck and to the valley between my breasts. His fingers fumbled with the front clasp of my bra as he wedged his leg between my thighs.

I bit my lip feeling Jackson brought his thigh up and pressing it into my core. I softly groaned as I slipped my arms around his neck, throwing my head back against the couch. His hands moved to my waist, pushing my skirt up until it was around my stomach.

I grasped onto the back of his head once he finally freed my breast, pushing back my bra. There, his mouth left sloppy kisses from my chest to my breast, with a warm feeling at the pit of my stomach.

----

I woke with my face fully flushed and my breathing coming in gasps.

Was that really a dream?

I turned to my side seeing Jackson there sleeping peacefully beside me.

I guess it was.

I realized that we hadn't left the studio and it must be really late.

It feels nice waking up to seeing someone you cared about next to you.

I snuggled closer to Jackson as I pressed my lips against his neck. My hands moved under his shirt, sliding upward over his hard slim abdomen and up to his chest. I moved the back down, hitting top of his shorts.

I grinned as I left butterfly kisses from his throat to his jaw line and to his lips, lightly pecking them. I hear Jackson softly moan which excites me even more as my kiss grew fiercer. I finally felt Jackson respond to the kiss and there I rolled so that I was on top of him.

I pulled away and Jackson stared up at me. "We shouldn't do this; this is supposed to be like our first date." He whispered and bent his neck upward to capture my lips again.

"We didn't have an ordinary first date before. From what I remember we did _it _before we actually went on a date." There I firmly pressed my lips against his as I started to bring his shirt up.

We parted and I pulled off his shirt and he did the same to my shirt. His hands moved from my stomach and up to cup my breast and there, he rolled over so that he was on top at this point.

He quickly reached for my bra, unhooking it with one hand as he kissed me full on the lips. He removed my bra and met my lips into a heartwarming kiss. I parted my legs, hooking them at his sides as he pressed his body hard against mine.

He started grinding his hips between my legs as his chest pushed against my own as I got used to the mixture of emotions that I started to feel. His hands fled between our bodies, one snaking up to my chest as his other moved between my legs.

I bit back a moan as I thrust my lips against his hand and lower region. In pure bliss and ecstasy, I responded to everything Jackson was doing to me. I couldn't control myself; I writhed against his tender touch as my tongue probed his mouth. It was stuck in the moment and felt like I needed this.

Just then, as Jackson started to uncontrollably rub his groin against my hips, the door flung open.

Instantly, I covered my chest with my arms. Jackson jerked backward, rolling off the bed and there we saw Richard, the one running the studio, staring at the both of us looking confused as ever.

"What the… Jackson…" He said and with one hand I reached for my shirt, putting it over my chest. I got up, taking my bra with me and I darted out of the room.

My face fully flushed as I turned seeing Jackson following me while leaving Richard with a simple Sorry. We reached his car and as soon as he unlocked the car, I got in and started to get dressed.

Jackson climbed in with his shirt already on and a frustrated look on his face.

"I'll bring you home." He sighed and gave me a longing look.

I frowned as well and looked back at the studio. We must've given Richard some type of show from the look on his face. I could only remember Richard gaping at the two of us; I needed to get out then.

Damn, what was wrong with me then though? I felt like some type of sex addict and it's not supposed to be like that.

"Okay." I said and Jackson nodded, saying nothing else, but just drove to my place.

----

We sat in Jackson's car, just watching the front of my house. The house lights were closed which made it safe for Jackson to park here. I sighed and glanced at him and he frowned. It was almost 3 AM and I thought that Oliver or someone would be up to wait for me, but I guess I had nothing to worry about after all, thank God.

I glanced at Jackson and he looked slightly dazed. I guess from what happened in the room seemed a little different; we hadn't had such a big intimate time, apart from what happened at the beach a few weeks ago, but that was it.

I realized so many times I decided that I would chose Jackson and I even told him, but I don't know, is that what I really want?

After asking him what he would do if he was in my position, it made me think and maybe, I guess, he is right.

But I love Jackson and not Oliver.

When will I ever stop changing my mind?

"I guess this is goodnight?" I asked him with his eyes narrowing to the steering wheel.

"Yeah. Sad actually, don't you agree?" He asked.

"Yeah, really… I guess I'll see you later." I said as I opened the door. I felt Jackson's hand on my shoulder and I glanced at him.

"Let me walk you to your door… to end it properly you know?" He asked and I smiled.

I shook my head. "No, I don't want to be a bother." I told him and got out of the car.

I heard the other door close and I turned around seeing Jackson getting out. I stayed put until he made it by my side.

"You don't need to drop me off." I told him,

He smiled and looked as if he was about to go back to the car, but instead he pulled me into a fierce hug. I hugged him back and placed my head on his forehead. I felt him kissing the tip of my ear and I grinned. I gazed up at him and there I planted a soft kiss upon his lips.

We kissed for a while, with him holding me so closely with his hands caressing my back. My own hands found its way up his shoulders and to the nape of his neck, slipping into his short blonde spikes.

I felt so loved and close to him that I didn't want him to let go. I just wanted this to last, but I knew I had to eventually go and leave him, which sort of makes me feel sad.

With one last kiss, we pulled apart smiling at one another. I watched as he slowly opened his eyes, but soon froze when he looked passed me. I stared at him, a little confused, and then turned around.

I too froze when I realized what Jackson was staring at.

_Oliver_

**A/N **Hope you liked this update. Sorry if it was a bit off.

Tell me how you felt about the chapter.


	19. What Happened Before

**A/N** Dedication to daisy617 for helping me decide a few things. Seems like I've been dedicating a lot of things to you lately.

This isn't really an important chapter lol, its like you don't have to read it, but you should read it? Lol anyway enjoy. This mostly goes out to them Moliver fans lol. 

**Chapter 19**

**What Happened Before**

Oliver was in the living room, sitting beside Leah as he carried Lauren. It was already 2 AM and Lilly still hadn't come home from Miley's. It made him worried and he would call her, but he didn't want to be a bother. 

He knew Lilly would call if she were to were to sleep over, but he had to remember that she and Miley are girls and girls like to… use their nights for some random girl thing. He liked that she was going out more since she was always locked up in her room with Lauren, but it worried him that she wouldn't come back

"Where's Lilly?" Oliver asked as he glanced over to the clock and sighed loudly.

"She'll be home, don't worry!" Leah assured Oliver and Oliver nodded.

He tried so hard to concentrate with rocking Lauren and watching TV at the same time, but he couldn't do it. He needed to see if Lilly was alright now. He knew he was being overprotective of Lilly, but he didn't like seeing her emotional and sad like how she was when Jackson left. One thing he promised himself was that he wouldn't hurt Lilly like how Jackson did, even if Lilly was the one who hurt Jackson.

Leah reached over, taking Lauren from Oliver's hands and Oliver glanced at her in confusion. Leah rolled her eyes and stood up, walking over to the portable crib, and set her down in there.

"Look, you're too worried. Go for a walk and don't come back until you're relaxed enough." Leah said and Oliver nodded, standing up, and started to head for the door.

Oliver took his keys, which he left on the table next to the door, and walked out without looking back at Lauren or Leah. He stuffed his hands in his pockets, as he started to walk slowly, taking in a deep breath of the lukewarm air of the night.

He hated getting worried over Lilly like this. He didn't like getting worried at all, but ever since Lauren came to be, it just confused him. He wanted to be the perfect father; he didn't want anyone to interrupt his relationship with Lilly even if they came together by force. He was growing to like Lilly, but he knew his heart belonged to someone else.

"This is fucked up." He sighed and pulled his right hand out of his pocket, putting it to his head and running it through his thick locks.

He shook his head and let his hand fall to the back of his neck. He looked up and finally realized what he was doing. He was walking to Miley's house. He never really realized until he passes a few signs directing to Miley's house.

He laughed at himself as he shook his head. Maybe he was actually falling in love with Lilly after all.

"I'll just go over to see when Lilly will be home." He nodded and stared straight ahead, walking a bit faster toward Miley's house.

When he got there, it wasn't quite what he expected. He was hoping to see lights on with some sort of noise coming from the house, but nothing was there.

"Here goes." Oliver said as he walked up Miley's driveway and to the door.

He stood looking straight at the door, and started to have second thoughts. _Miley might be sleeping and Lilly might be home already, I shouldn't bother them_. Oliver shook his head. _But I have to see if Lilly's there. If she isn't then what's the point of me coming here?_

Oliver took a deep breath and lifted his hand to knock on the door. He cleared his throat and hit the door with his knuckles two times. He put his hand down and waited a little and finally the door opened. 

Miley's head peaked through the door and she smiled when she saw Oliver.

"What are you doing here?" She asked and Oliver shyly glanced at Miley.

Miley wore a robe; it was being close with one hand as the other opened the door for her. Her have was slightly pink, but she still held that beautiful smile of hers which he liked so much. She just looked beautiful to him even without makeup.

"Uh… Is Lilly here?" He shyly asked with his head dropping to the ground.

He felt childish with him acting like this. He knew he was staring at her too long, but he just couldn't seem to face her without feeling the feelings he once had when they were together.

"She… what?" Miley started.

Oliver gazed at her, noticing her puzzled look. He was about to say something else when Miley's eyes widened and she nodded.

"Uhh… She was but she decided to walk home a few minutes ago… the long way if you know what I mean." Miley started to laugh out loud and pulled the door opened a little wider. "Why don't you come in?" Miley asked and Oliver shook his head.

"I should go home, Lilly would wonder where I was if she didn't see me home." Oliver was about to turn around when he felt a hand on his arm.

He looked back and noticed Miley with her eyes staring straight into his, practically begging him to stay. "Please? Just for a little? We need to talk…" She asked and Oliver sighed.

"I guess… for a bit." He replied and walked into the house.

The house was completely dark except for a small light that was on in the kitchen where a glass of water and a sandwich was laid out on the corner.  
_  
Miley must've been eating. _He thought to himself as he carefully walked across the room, over to the couch, and sat down. Miley dropped down beside him and they sat in silence.

Oliver looked at the corner of his eyes, seeing Miley with her head bent forward, looking at her hands in the dark. He could barely see her, but with the moon shining through the windows and the small light, he could still see her small figure.

"So…" Miley finally said as she turned her head in Oliver's direction.

"Mhmm?" He asked and Miley sighed.

"What do you think of school huh? Weird? Its kinda sad Lilly's not there with us most of the time." Miley told him.

"Yeah it is sad. I mean she missed out on Stephen's graduation party, but it's okay. She's taking care of our baby. You know she does a lot of stuff at home with Lauren. Lauren is my child too you know?" Oliver said as he laced his fingers, looking down at his lap.

"That's really cute; it's good that Lilly and Lauren actually have someone that wouldn't leave them alone with the mess." Miley nodded.

"I told myself, when I got in the relationship with Lilly, that I would be like one of the jerks who didn't want to be a part of it. My brother with Leah, that was surprising."

"It was actually, but hey you're a boy who's going to clean up the mess. Are you going to marry Lilly?"

Oliver, startled, turned his head to Miley. She was staring straight at him with her eyes narrowing and her lips pursed. She looked curious to what Oliver was going to say, but at the same time, she looked sad.

Oliver didn't want to start anything, he knew that something like this was going to happen with Miley and he should've left in the beginning.

"Miley, you shouldn't ask me these types of things." Oliver shook his head and sighed.

"Do you think we would ever have a kid if you never got with Lilly?" Miley suddenly asked, ignoring what Oliver said.

He kept a straight face as he looked at her. He moved closer to her on the couch and took one of her hands.

"Miley, you should know that what Lilly and I did was on accident and I care for her and Lauren."

"But that doesn't answer the question. Have you ever pictured me and you in a long term relationship, married, kids, you know the whole package." Miley looked at him as she gripped on his hand.

"I… I don't know." Oliver looked down. "We're the past Miley, me and you."

She chuckled. "So that's how it's going to be." Miley shook her head.

Oliver felt a sudden pang of sadness. He knew Miley still liked him and he liked her too, but they're not allowed to have that sort of feeling. He's supposed to love Lilly and not forget about Lauren, but now he just felt like his betraying himself and Lilly.

"Look Miley-"

"Oliver, I love you, you do know that right? I don't care if you're with Lilly; I just want to be with you again… you don't know how depressed I've been since you left me. Being friends with you isn't enough, I need more." Miley finally said with her voice slightly cracking.

Oliver closed his eyes. He had the urge to hug her, but he couldn't, he just couldn't.

_I think I should leave._ He said to himself and decided to let go of Miley's hand.

As soon as he loosened his grip, Miley moved forward and captured his lips into a hard kiss. She put a hand to the back of his head, forcing herself on him and he did nothing. 

He sat there, a bit dazed at what was happening. He couldn't move, a part of him wanted this, but another part of him was telling him to push her off.

Before he knew it, he started to kiss her back and she was pushing him down on the couch. Miley had her hands running up and down his flat chest as she continued to kiss him. Oliver had moved his arms around Miley's waist, moving on the couch so that the both of them fit perfectly on it.

Oliver's fingers fumbled with Miley's robe, with his hands then slipping into them, feeling around for her body. His hands moved from her sides to the small of her back, pulling her close against him as they kissed.

Miley removed her lips, from his, kissing his cheek then to his outer ear, licking at the skin. She started to nibble at it with Oliver pursing his lips, trying to get his mind straight, but he couldn't. His mind was telling him to stop, but his body was reacting on its own and he couldn't fight it. He wanted this, he almost needed this, but he knew he shouldn't do it.

Oliver's hands finally moved into her shirt, which was, he thought, a spaghetti strap shirt. He shifted on the couch so that she was next to him and he raised his hands until they met her bare chest.

Miley softly moaned, as she stopped nibbling at Oliver's ear. Oliver took advantage, pressing his mouth on hers with his warm tongue probing into Miley's mouth. He started caressing her chest as Miley's body started to jerk, with her hips pressing onto Oliver's. Oliver knew he was passing the borderline he kissed down Miley's jaw and to her neck.

Suddenly he stopped kissing her and froze. A flash of the night he and Lilly had sex filled his head and he started to shake his head. This is how he got Lilly pregnant and what if he got Miley pregnant if they went all the way?

"I can't do this." Oliver whispered as he removed his hands from Miley's shirt.

"What?" Miley questioned, sounding a little disappointed.

"I'm not ready to do this again. First time I did this, I got someone pregnant. I'm supposed to be with that someone and that someone happens to be your best friend. I don't want to ruin the relationship between the three of us." Oliver said as he sat up.

Miley sat up wit her body just behind Oliver's. She started to feel guilty too, but then what Lilly's doing is what Oliver is stopping from doing.

"Sorry… I got carried away, I'm not usually so forward like that." Miley cleared her throat and pulled her robe back together with her hands.

"It's okay, we're okay." He showed a thumb up as he turned to look at Miley.

"Man, you really don't want to ruin what you and Lilly are going through, huh?" Miley put a hand on Oliver's shoulder as he nodded.

"It doesn't matter to me anymore. I can learn to love someone and I love Lauren, she's my daughter after all."

"You're a good guy Ollie; I don't know why Lilly would leave you." Miley's voice soft as she said this.

"Thanks, well, I'm going to go." Oliver said as he got up from the couch.

"I'll walk you there." Miley replied as she got up from the couch and followed behind him as he walked to the door.

When they reached the door, Oliver looked at Miley and noticed she looked a little sad, but he knew she understood the relationship he had with Lilly.

"Sorry." He said.

Miley sighed. "It's okay, we're fine." She forced a smile.

Oliver brought out his hand, and Miley gladly took his hand and shook it. She went on her tiptoes and softly kissed Oliver, bringing her hands back as she pulled away.

Oliver smiled. "Goodnight Miley." He said as he turned and walked away.

He shook his head and ran his hands through his hair, thinking of the consequences if Lilly were to ever find out about him and Miley. He knew that something bad would happen, but he couldn't help but wonder what would happen even if it meant that she wasn't going to speak to him for a few days._  
_

_I can't tell her, but I want to_. He sighed. _Man I'm stupid, I cant tell Lilly I did that, it would hurt her._

He crossed his arms and stared straight ahead. He walked back to Lilly's house, thinking of what happened at Miley's house. It just made him feel weird. The times he was with Miley, sure he fooled around with her, but with his feelings hitting him back so fast, he didn't know how to react and if he ever went hung out with Miley, would they just ignore what they were tempting to do? 

Oliver shook his head and stared straight ahead. He was growing closer to Lilly's house when he noticed a car parked in front of the house.

"Who's that?" He asked himself and then saw Lilly come out of the passenger seat with Jackson coming out of the driver's seat.

_What…?_ He asked himself.

He saw Jackson pulling Lilly into a hug and then Lilly kissing Jackson. He froze at his spot and stared at the two for a long time. When they finally broke the kiss, Jackson was the first to see him and then Lilly. 

He didn't know how to react except to watch the two hold each other tightly.  
_  
What the fuck is going on?_

**A/N** Lol. Sorry about this chapter. I was so tempted to write what happened before Lilly and Jackson was caught. Plus half the idea goes to daisy for helping me out a bit. I'm not much of a Moliver fan, so sorry if this chapter was weird. I tried my hardest to not make it sound weird.

Did you guys like this chapter? Lol or did I waste my night writing it? Lol.

The next chapter should be quite interesting. :D It should be out soon lol. I was going to put it in this chapter, but yeah I decided to leave it like that. 


	20. Forbidden

**Chapter 20 **

**Forbidden**

_Oliver_

Jackson protectively wrapped my arms from behind and I dropped my head to the ground. I know what Jackson was doing is probably not a good thing, but it did make me feel a bit comfortable. Now this must be a sign that I need to let go of Oliver.

I sighed

I couldn't face Oliver now. He saw us kiss, I told Jackson I loved him earlier in the night… and if I push Jackson away, it's going to start even more drama. But then… Oliver is my baby's daddy. He's supposed to be my real boyfriend.

I groaned.

Fuck, what am I going to do?

I glanced up to Oliver and saw him raise his hand to me, as if he was going to take me away from Jackson. I took the time and locked eyes with him; his eyes glossed over with his mouth slightly open, as if he was shocked at me. He looked like he was trying to reach out for me, but he just stood there.

"Oliver…" I sighed and felt my throat tighten.

This isn't happening. I mean, I knew this was going to happen sooner or later, but still, I just wished it was later.

My jaw clenched shut as I finally gazed up and saw him walking forward, ever so slowly. He was on the side walk, but why he was there, I don't know.

"What is…" He trailed off as Jackson pulled me closer to him.

I gazed up at Jackson and as soon as I caught his eye, I looked down once again.

Oliver should know now… is it not obvious?

"Oliver, look.-" Jackson started and I lifted my eyes to Oliver as he stood still once again.

He looked furious, his eyes now turning red with his fists clenched. It scared me to see him like this, he didn't even look like the type to be mad but… he just looked… hurt.

"I should've known." He said under his breath as he took a step forward.

What? Did he know we were together?

I watched as he bit his lip and shook his head, turning away from us.

"Oliver…" My throats now dry as I put my hands together, as I fumbled with my fingers.

I'm scared; I'm not going to lie anymore. This is just… scary.

"I don't understand how could you?" Oliver said as if he tried to calm down, but it wasn't working, his breathing grew hard as he turned back to us and looked at us hard.

"I never meant to-" I chocked out as I moved forward, slowly pushing Jackson's hands from my sides.

"Whatever. This is fucked up." Oliver snapped.

I thought he was going to run up to Jackson and punch him, but he did the next shocking thing.

He shot to the left and bolted away, not turning back, but stared straight ahead.

Not toward the house, but actually… away.

He's… running… away…

"Oh…" I watched him and felt Jackson's arms take their place back around me, pulling me into a tight hug from behind.

I didn't know how to feel, should I run after Oliver or should I stay here with Jackson? This is just overly confusing for me, and I just feel… bad. One, for not telling Oliver about Jackson and I in the first place, and two, for making Oliver run away like that. I never meant for him to do that, but I guess… he hates me now.

Ugh, what am I supposed to do?

"Let's go inside." Jackson suggested as he kissed my cheek. He removed his arms from my waist and slipped his hand into mine, pulling me toward the house, and to the door.

When we got there, the door was unlocked, and we walked into the dark house. The living room had some light in it, I think the TV was on, and so Jackson led me into there, where Leah was on the couch with her eyes glued to the TV.

I looked to the side and saw Lauren's crib with her in it.

Oh god, Oliver…

I let out a shaky breath as I felt Jackson's hand on my shoulder squeeze it for support. I looked back at Leah and found her staring at me. She saw me and smiled as she waved.

"Hey, how was your-" Leah started and then I felt my eyes start to well up as I rushed to her side, and put my face against her shoulder.

"Leah! Oliver saw me and Jackson… and I don't know what to do! He ran away." I wept and wrapped my hands on her arm.

"Shh, Lilly, don't blame yourself. Whatever happened to night with you, Jackson, and Oliver can resolve one day, just let it all out now, you know I'm here for you when you need to talk." Leah whispered as she moved her arm and wrapped them around me and pulled me to her front.

I clung onto her as my sobs grew. I didn't know what caused this late reaction, but it just made me feel scared. It was all suddenly crashing down on me. What if Oliver didn't want to be a part of Lauren's life now? What if he kills himself? Oh gosh, everyone's going to blame me now.

I shook my head. I needed to relax, but how can I relax when I know Oliver won't ever forgive me after this night. He doesn't deserve what I did to him.

No one does.

----

For the next few days, there was no sign of Oliver and it really got me depressed. I didn't mean to hurt him if I did. I've tried calling him, he wouldn't answer. I wouldn't dare call his parents house, they would probably lie to me and if I had to face Junior, I would probably slap him. Damn it, why must this be so complicated? I know I messed up, but I never intended to. If only he was inside, if only Jackson wasn't being stubborn and stayed inside the car, then I wouldn't be in this mess.

I sighed. Now I'm blaming Jackson when it's my entire fault. If I hadn't taken the chance and decided to cheat on Oliver in the first place, then he wouldn't have seen. I'm calling my mom.

I was in the living room, feeling down on myself. It was almost as if I hadn't moved from this spot since that night and it's already been a week. Leah took time off from her job to take care of Lauren since I've been too busy moping around to do anything at all.

I reached for the phone and dialed for my mom's cell phone. She hadn't been home for a while, I think, and I just want her to take care of Lauren while I'm depressed like this. I don't want Leah to do all my work, plus mom said she would help out anytime I need a break. I just hope she will take care of her now.

When I dialed, I waited until she answered and when I heard an answer, I smiled.

"Hello? Lilly?" She said through the receiver.

It had been a while since I saw her; I just hope she'll stay home for the next few days.

"Mom? Hi…" I tailed off. What am I supposed to say? I cheated on Oliver; therefore I can't take care of my own child?

"What's wrong Lilly?" She asked with worry in her voice; she knew me too well.

"Umm… do you think you can take time off from work for a while? I need… help." I softly said as my voice lowered.

"Yeah sure… I've been working overtime, but what's wrong?" Mom asked and I could hear moving n the background, kind of like she was putting things away, maybe she was coming home now.

"Well…"

I closed my eyes and I took a deep breath as I told her what happened. Everything. It took a long time, but I needed to let this story out to someone else. Leah, she must be bottled up with all my problems that I've told her, I don't think she can even tell me her own problems now that I'm going through so much with my baby. It's just hard, almost like I want to regret everything in my life that has happened up to this point. I fucked up my life real bad and I hate it.

----

Mom had been home since Saturday night and it's already Monday. Mom hadn't been home this long since dad was last here, which was a few months ago in June. Mom was going around, cleaning the house, cooking food, and making the house feel even… homey. She had been taking care of Lauren as I moped around and did nothing.

Jackson hadn't come over in a while because of my mom. We didn't even have our meetings at early hours because my mom was always up and looking out the window just incase Oliver came or something.

My mom knew that something bad between me and Oliver would happen if Jackson came back home, but still she wants me to make up with Oliver. She thinks its right for us to make up and get married, but why should I marry him when I don't even love him! Plus, how do I make up with a guy when I don't even know where he is? Well, I sort of do, my mom talked to his mom the other night and he's at his house, and that he's doing the same thing as me; nothing.

I lay on the couch, flipping through the channels as my mom walked into the living room, holding Lauren. She seemed to be slightly irritated and I didn't care. At this point nothing could help me with what I did with both Oliver _and _Jackson.

"Lilly, will you please go and do something other than lay on the couch and watch TV?" Mom asked as she came over and sat down by my legs.

I moved to sit down and smiled. "There, you happy?" I asked and leaned back into the couch.

Mom handed Lauren to me and I held Lauren close to me as Mom put her arm around me.

"Baby, you have to know that we all make mistakes and-"

"But do other people do bad things like me? I'm with someone and I have a baby with that person and I went out and cheated on him! Do people make horrible mistakes like that? I don't think so; I'm a stupid and worthless person." I hissed and made Lauren stand on my lap as I held her sides. She gazed at me with her brown eyes and I frowned.

Oliver's eyes.

I closed my eyes and pulled her close to me as I kissed her cheek. Man, stupid mistakes.

"Lilly, I haven't… You shouldn't speak so low of yourself." Mom said as she pulled me to her chest. She kissed my forehead and Lauren and took her from me.

I watched Lauren as her eyes grew watery. I felt my chest slightly tighten as Mom got up from the couch to face me.

"Find something to do… its not healthy to just sit down and watch TV all day, I mean, week long. There must be something you want to do." She said and started to slowly bounce up and down to calm Lauren down from her muffled cries.

I shrugged. There is something I want to do, it's just, I don't think Jackson would want me dropping by, after all I don't even know if Kristy is still here.

I got up from the couch and shrugged. "I think I'm going to go out for a bit." I told her as I looked down at my attire. Shorts and a shirt. Why do I need to change when all I'm going to do is see Jackson?

"Don't come back until you feel relaxed." Mom joked and left me alone in the living room.

I nodded and got off the couch and went to the front door, slipping on slippers and decided to leave the house. I reached the sidewalk and walked into the direction of Emily's house. I was nervous for one reason and one reason only.

Because of Kristy.

I just hope she's not there and Jackson's the only one there. I want to spend time with Jackson and I know that if I do, I'll be happy. He's the only one who is able to make me happy right now and I'm horrible. If I wasn't in love with Oliver then I shouldn't even be this depressed or sad about it. I want Oliver to be a part of Lauren's life, just not like how envisioned it.

I was a few feet away from Emily's house. There was the car Jackson was using which made me feel a little uneasy, I hoped his friend RJ wasn't there. He would probably ruin everything.

I casually walked up to Emily's porch and stood in front of the door. I took a deep breath and raised my hand to ring the doorbell. As my finger was about to push on the button, the door swing open and a tall boy walked forward and met me.

"Oh, uh…" I said and stepped back and blushed.

I gazed up at him and he smiled at him. He had deep green eyes which were looked amazing. Nice eyes and nice smile is a definite plus for me. He seemed to be about 6 feet tall, definitely taller than Jackson. Long jet black hair which ended at his shoulders with red streaks in his hair. He stood shirtless, but held a shirt in his hands.

This must be… Riley.

"Lilly, Jackson's girl. I'm Ri-" He started and I nodded.

"Riley, I know. Um do you mind if I see Jackson?" I asked him and he smiled.

I bit my lip and looked away. He looked really hot, no wonder Emily likes him.

"Jackson!" Riley shouted and pushed the door open.

I looked back up and saw Jackson walking toward the door. His eyes lit up when he saw me and Riley walked passed me as soon as Jackson reached the door.

"What are you doing here?" He asked and enveloped me in his arms.

"I needed to see you, my mom's getting pissed off at me being lazy and I can't seem to get the night off my mind." I sighed and remembered the real reason why I decided to come here.

"Oh. Come in, I was at the back yard." He replied and pulled me into the house and locked the door.

"Okay." I said and looked around the house. We were in a hall way and there were stairs. There was a door on the left for the living room and a door on the right for the kitchen. Quite an interesting looking house.

Before I could look further into the rooms, Jackson took my wrist and pulled me down the hall and passed the stairs to the back door. When we reached the door, he brought me back outside, but at the pool. Soft music played from the stereo on the side and Jackson led me toward one of the long chairs. We sat down and Jackson stared at the water. I sat down next to him, feeling a bit odd.

Getting here feels rushed and I didn't know what to say, but I didn't want to bring up anything that had to do with Oliver. I wanted Jackson to make me feel happy, but now I just feel weird.

"What's going on at home?" Jackson asked as he glanced in my way.

His short hair wasn't spiked for once and he wore an old short sleeved shirt with holes in it and some surf shorts. He looked bored and dazed, just sitting there like nothing bad happened which made me feel a bit better. At least he hasn't given me that sympathetic look everyone seemed to be giving me lately.

"Nothing really, Leah working, mom taking care of Lauren while I mope around, yup, everything is the same." I joked and leaned back against the chair.

Jackson moved and lifted my legs to put it on the end of the chair and moved to the edge and sat on my side. My whole body was on the long chair now and Jackson just stared down at me and smiled.

"Yes, everything is the same. You're still my desirable girlfriend that everyone wants." Jackson chuckled and put his hands on my hips. He leaned forward and quickly kissed me. "And you don't need to worry about anything; I can make you feel better."

I laughed. "Yeah desirable my ass, I'm not even perfect. How can you like me when I'm so… gross?" I asked him. I squint my eyes as I stared at him, I couldn't really see because of the sun that seemed to be directly behind him.

"You're not gross, you're beautiful. I still want you, all to myself." He smirked and kissed me, this time he stayed longer than usual and had his hands trailing up and down my sides.

When we parted, I gazed at him and sat up to wrap my arms around his shoulders. I pulled him down so that his upper body was on mine and I kissed him. We kissed for a while when Jackson put his hands in my shirt and stroked my upper torso. I reached forward and found my own hands fumbling with the tie of his shorts.

When he pulled away, my eyes shot open and found him looking at me as if he was kind of scared.

"What?" I asked and he shook his head.

"We shouldn't do this; you're not ready for it." He whispered.

"I am ready for this, I want to be with you, and you know that." I said and cupped his cheeks.

"Lilly, I would hate to bring this up, but you're just… confused. You need to think, your baby's father just walked out on you and-"

"And you say it's my fault?" I said and felt slightly taken back at this.

What the hell, I come here to feel better, but all he's doing is making me feel like shit. What is wrong with this picture?

"No, Lilly…" Jackson shook his head and pulled his hands out of my shirt, which we forgot was there in the first place. "I just don't want you to do something you want to do to forget how you feel right now. So many wrong things could happen and the last thing I want you to feel is neglected."

I didn't fully understand him. He wants me to feel like this, but he doesn't want me to feel like this? So confusing.

"I think it was a mistake coming here." I sat up and swung my legs on the edge of the chair.

"No, Lilly…" Jackson said and just as I was about to stand up, Jackson's hands made it to my arms and he pulled me down on the chair.

My legs were still off the side of the long chair, but my upper body was down and then moved down to kiss me. It felt slightly rushed, but then I started kissing him back with my hands moving to the back of his head. We moved on the chair into a more comfortable spot.

We were both lying on the chair, on our sides and facing each other as we kissed. We kissed a few times as Jackson held my hand tightly.

I pulled away for a second and stared at his face with his eyes shut. He looked a little sad and I felt bed. Maybe I was forcing myself on him to forget the feeling I felt because of Oliver, I just want to feel loved is all.

Jackson's eyes opened and he smirked at me. "Beautiful." He said and I giggled.

"Sorry. I'm a bitch today and I just want to spend time with you." I told him and he nodded.

"It has been a long time; today I have the house all to myself. Riley just left for work, Emily went to work, and RJ and Kristy are out-"

Kristy? Kristy is still here?

I furrowed my brows. I thought Kristy went back home.

"When is Kristy going back to Tennessee?"

"I don't know actually, should be in a few days. She and RJ are going back together; I sense the two are going out now." Jackson chuckled and reached forward to cup my cheek.

"What makes you think that?" I asked.

It was nice to know RJ and Kristy got together, it just makes me confused if Jackson even cares his friend is going out with his ex girlfriend, after all when he found out about me and Oliver, he practically killed Oliver.

"Kristy and RJ, they've been together for a while, just hanging out. I saw them kissing a few times even." He smiled brightly and leaned to press his nose against mine. "I told RJ to keep her busy while I was with you." He winked.

I blushed. When he says it like that, he makes it like we're still hiding the fact that we were together and makes it sound so… sexy. It's cute but it also makes me feel embarrassed. Oh boy, this is so awkward.

"Well, now that we're all out of the closet," I laughed. "Sorry for making this relationship complicated in the first place." I told him and kissed him.

He moved forward so that his body was partially on mine. His hand on my cheek moved down with his fingers stroking my cheek, neck, and moved down to my arm.

We kissed, in which sounded a long time, and before we knew it, we started stripping out of our clothes. It felt slow and passionate, just the perfect mood for something like this. I never even realized what we were doing until Jackson's warm mouth came in contact with my breast.

I was only in my panties and Jackson in just his pants at this point and we were outdoors. I just didn't seem to care anymore. The neighbors could see us if they want, whoever comes out on the back could see us too, but I just wanted to be with Jackson and feel him close to me.

His fingers working on my sides, caressing my soft skin as I kept my eyes closed. The warm feeling at the pit of my stomach grew and I just wanted to be as close to him as possible. His hands were know kneading at my thighs and slowly parted them so that he could fit perfectly between them. His hands met the front of my underwear and I let out a soft gasp as he covered my mouth with his once more.

Doing this seemed to make me forget about my problem with Oliver, it almost made me forget about Lauren, but not quite. I didn't want to use Jackson for just sex though, I love him with all my heart and I love being with him. If only I didn't have Lauren with Oliver, then this relationship with Jackson wouldn't be forbidden.

**A/N**it felt like a right time to end it there, sorry if this chapter didn't make sense. I was going to add more, but I guess I'll save it for the next chapter. I hope you liked this chapter!

And sorry for the late update! I was procrastinating and I had a lot of projects due last week. I seriously feel really bad for not updating sooner.


	21. Sweeter Days

**Chapter 21**

**Sweeter Days **

"Jackson, will you relax? I'm going to cook for you and only you. You should see my new cooking skills, I'm super good now." I smiled and stood in front of the stove in Emily's kitchen.

I decided to cook for Jackson, something simple and something he wanted which was an omelet. I've always wanted to cook for someone other than myself and Leah and now that I get to cook for Jackson, it made me feel excited.

We just finished getting out of the shower after our time outside. Gosh outside of all places, it's almost like we can't find any other good places which is sad, but stupid. I shouldn't depend on Jackson for happiness.

I shook my head and took a spatula to fold the piece of egg and cheese on the pan in half and put it on a plate. I was about to pour the rest of the egg when Jackson put his hands on my hips and kissed the top of my head.

"I wish this could be like everyday for us." He pulled me back against him. "It would be fun…" He pressed his cheek against my head.

"And if you don't let me go I won't be finished making your food." I forced him off me and finished cooking.

When I finished, we took our plates in the dining area. We sat across of each other and started to eat as we talked. It was soft, but it was fun. We just talked, like how it was before we got intimate again, it was nice.

"You remember last year when I thought you had that thing with Chantel?" I asked.

I started to think about Chantel during our talk. I was curious, I haven't heard or seen her in a year and not that I care for her or anything, but I just wondered what she was up to. She tried stealing Jackson before and now it seems like Kristy is like a Chantel, even if Kristy and Jackson aren't dating.

"What about her?" Jackson asked as he dug into his food. He was nearly done with his food and I guess I was that good of a cook.

"How is she?" I asked Jackson and he shrugged.

"I don't care about her." He said and shoved a spoon full of his food into his mouth.

"Then where is she? I haven't seen her in a long time." I sighed and started playing around with my food.

It felt a little odd talking about her, I'll admit, but it's not my fault. I never kept in contact with anyone since the big move and I miss them, even if Chantel was the biggest bitch out there.

"She's alright, last time I talked to her, she was in Maine taking up some writing class." He sighed and dropped his spoon.

He looked up and I felt his toe tap my foot from the ground. I rolled my eyes and he smiled. He started tapping my foot with his toe and I pulled my feet back.

"No footsie while I eat." I told him and took a big bite from my food.

"And no being mean while I wait for you to eat. Come on, let's just do something. You don't seem to be hungry." He said and winked at me.

He was right, I'm not hungry, whatever.

I pushed my plate a way from me and got up from my seat.

"So what do you want me to do?" I asked and made my way around to him I put my hands on his shoulders and he shifted in his chair and pulled me down on his lap.

"Let's talk about… Lauren… when you had Lauren." He said.

I was slightly taken back at his topic. Why Lauren? I mean wouldn't he be a bit hurt about it?

"I don't think so, it was a long time ago and it's not such a pretty fairy tale." I shook my head and crossed my legs.

"Please, I don't care; I just want to hear the story. My friend had a baby not too long ago and she said it hurt like a bitch." He chuckled and put his hands to my hips.

He lifted me up and placed me on the table in front of him. When did he get so… strong? Is there something he's doing to 'wow' me or something? I mean, I always knew he was strong and all, but still, its kind of cute.

I put my feet on his thighs and gazed down at him as he put his hands on the sides. I smiled and started to think back of the day I had Lauren.

"It was in February, you know, if we were still together, we would've reached a year then." I pointed out and he nodded.

"And so what were you doing?" He asked and I shrugged.

"I was moping around, and I felt incredibly depressed…" I sighed and shook my head. "Anyway, Oliver got home and gave me roses and chocolate and I started snapping at him for some stupid reason and then I had these major pains in my stomach that's how it started. I started to laugh remembering what happened.

I remember that day so clearly. Oliver was trying to be so sweet and nice with the flowers and candy, trying to set the mood. I started blaming him for some things that he did wrong with the room and the house and how I wanted certain things to be organized when my water broke. His face was so scared and he turned white, he was petrified. My mom was home at that time too so it wasn't too bad. My mom and Oliver got my things together when they brought me to the hospital, but Oliver was quiet the whole time, it was funny.

The story was getting too long and when it came to the part of the actual delivery, that's when Jackson grew even more interested in my labor.

"…I was yelling at Oliver during the whole delivery, calling him all these nasty names and screaming at him that this was his entire fault. He even threw up when the doctors showed him… down there if you know what I mean." I laughed and Jackson laughed with me.

"They actually showed that part down… there?" He said with his eyes wide and I nodded. "Did you hit him or anything?"

"Well, I was squeezing his hand, practically clawing at him and I kept on yelling. I remember saying something like, _I will never have sex again_, and it was, well, painful." I shrugged. "But it was an interesting experience." I smiled.

"You say you will never have sex again when you did it with me." He shook his head as he leaned back on his chair.

I moved my feet from his lap and put it on either side of his thighs. I leaned forward so that our faces were at the same level and I nodded.

"You're special that's why…"

"But you shouldn't give me special treatment because of it." He pointed out and moved forward.

I rolled my eyes. "So would you rather me still be with Oliver? Because I would go back to him if you want." I said and started to lift my legs up to move to the side.

Jackson took a hold of my legs and put his hand to my shoulder to put me down.

"Be reasonable, I love you Lilly, come on." He said and I smiled.

"Fine, fine." I pecked him on the lips and he smiled.

"Okay good, now what do you want to do?" I asked him and he kissed me.

"Kiss?" He suggested and I rolled my eyes.

"Come on." I sighed and he pecked me on the lips once again.

"It will be sweet." He lightly pecked me and lifted his hands to my shoulders and traced his fingers down my arm.

"Jackson." I giggled and he pulled me toward the edge of the table and down on his lap.

We started to make out and he held onto me closely. I had my hands on his shoulders and I kissed him back. We were growing into the kiss, no touching, just kissing and it felt normal and… actually nice. The room was quiet and nice and before we knew it, we were forced to stop the kiss with Stephen coming in.

"Jackson!" Stephen shouted and I jumped off Jackson's lap and felt embarrassed.

I don't know, I mean, I'm used to people catching me making out with Jackson, but now it's awkward. It's been a while since I was caught, well, not including the time Oliver caught us but this was different… I think.

"It's not like you saw this before." Jackson said as he pulled me back down on his lap.

"But still, it's gross." Stephen reminded he both of us and I laughed.

I gazed at Stephen as he walked past us and into the kitchen like nothing happened. I guess he wasn't bothered by it? I shrugged and got up from Jackson's lap.

"Let's go in your room." I suggested and he nodded.

"Sure, why not." He grinned, took my hand, and led me up the stairs to his room.

----

In Jackson's room, we were just talking fooling around, flirting, and talking. Of course he'd ask me about things about Lauren, I think he wants to be a part of Lauren's life which is good actually. I've heard of boys that would never date girls who have kids, but Jackson seems to not care about it, but Oliver, would he be so happy if he found out Jackson wants to be a part of Lauren's life if Jackson and I really get back together?

It seems scary.

I shook my head and was weaving my fingers into Jackson's hair. He was falling asleep and I found it interesting that just by doing this, he would actually fall asleep.

"Jackson." I whispered with his back face to me.

I had my leg on his hips and he leaned back against me.

"Yes?" He murmured in a soft voice.

"What are you doing?" I asked as I tangled my fingers into his hair and softly pulled them. His hair felt softer than they used to feel and it _was _shorter, but still it felt nice. I wonder what he used.

"Shh…" He whispered and I smiled as I moved my hand down from her hair to his neck.

He shivered to my touch and I moved closer to him. I raised my hand to his hair and stroked it again as his breathing grew deeper.

"Do you think I'm ugly?" I asked and smiled as I lifted my head up to kiss the back of his head.

"No, you're beautiful." His words slightly slurred and I knew he liked this.

"Why did you pick me?" I whispered.

I knew now wasn't the right time to ask him this, but I wanted to know. I'm a curious teen and he could choose anyone and he chooses me.

"Do you really want to know why?" He replied back, his voice soft, but I could tell that he was trying to force himself awake.

I nodded even if he couldn't hear me and I continued to fondle with his hair. I removed my leg from his hip and shifted next to him in an even comfortable position.

"You already know how I feel for you though." He finally responded as he moved on his back.

I propped myself up on one of my elbows and looked down on him. I put my hand on his chest and started to stroke his chest.

"Is that all?"

I stared at him with his eyes still closed and his mouth slightly opened. He was breathing out from hi mouth and looked like he was on the verge of falling asleep, but was resisting it. A few times he would open his eyes, but he kept on closing them. I guess maybe I should ask him this another time.

"You're beautiful… I love everything about you even if you have a kid with someone else." He paused as he took a deep breath, this time his voice came even softer. "You're perfect for me and I need you."

His eyes fluttered open one last time until he finally closed them. He was breathing softly and steadily, almost as if he had fallen asleep and I was going to move back to my side of the bed when he said one last thing.

"You're just the one I've been looking for and maybe you're my soul mate, one of them that I never thought existed until I met you."

I gasped and gaped at him after that final sentence.

Soul mate?

I blinked a few times and realized that he was sleeping by now.

I settled beside him and pulled the sheets of the bed high over my body.

How can I be his soul mate when I feel like I don't even deserve it?

I shook my head and looked back at Jackson. He looked like such a little kid when he slept.

I smiled and kissed his cheek before turning on my side with my back facing him.

Maybe soul mates do exist, but still, do I consider him my soul mate?

I shook my head and hugged a spare pillow beside me. I closed my eyes and continued to think about the fact that he said I was his soul mate.

Maybe I do mean that much to him, only time will tell how I truly feel. I am young and maybe the feeling I have for Jackson is more than I realized it to be. I already love him, but am I ready to say that we're meant to be? People who say that usually jinx it, but still, it kind of scares me.

----

In the morning, I woke up earlier than Jackson and I decided to leave. I called mom last night to tell her I was at Emily's but she told me to go home early so I guess I'm just going to leave him without waking him. Why wake him up when I'm going to leave anyway? Plus it's going to be harder if he wakes up because he might want to kiss and all that stuff.

I sighed and quickly kissed Jackson on the head as I slowly got out of the bed. I put on my shoes and straightened out my outfit, which was a shirt and some pants that I borrowed from Emily. I took my own clothes which were in a package and carried them as I got out of the room.

The house seemed to be quiet when I got through the hallway and down the stairs. I went into the kitchen to get a glass of water and saw Kristy there. She was sitting on the countertop and was drinking a cup of coffee while reading through a newspaper.

Hopefully she didn't see me so I should probably…

I turned on my heel and was about to leave when I hear Kristy call for me.

"Girl, you over there."

I bit my lip and turned around to smile at her. How thrilling, I'm going to have a conversation with her.

"Hey…" I smiled and walked toward the kitchen.

I set my clothes on the counter and took a cup to get water. I could feel her staring at me and it felt so awkward.

"You're Lilly right?" She asked and I glanced at her as I drank my drink.

"Mhmm." I said.

She smiled. "So you're the one he left me for. The one with the kid." She nodded.

I set my cup in the sink and nodded. I blushed, she knows me as the one with the kid. How… exciting?

"Yeah, I guess I understand why he would leave me, you're cute… Plus you have a history with him." She shrugged.

"Uh-huh." I picked up my things and waved at her. "I should go… see you later." I told her and started off.

"Bye." Her voice was faint, but I didn't care, I wanted to get out, I didn't want to talk to her at all.

When I got out of the house, I felt like I was practically running off of their block and toward my house. It feels kind of weird that I'm doing this, but I just wanted to get home as fast as I could. It is weird that I just slept with Jackson and then met up with his ex-girlfriend. Who does that? And she knows he left her for me is even more odd.

I know I'm just weird by reading too much into it, but I can't help it.

I stopped running and walked slowly toward my house. I had my hands in my pockets and stared straight ahead.

I'm kind of relieved I live near Emily's house. Since I know where she lives now, maybe I can go to her house more often, when I need to get away, plus it would be quite interesting to see what Leah and Emily would say after their little… kiss that night they slept over.

I giggled at the memory and rolled my eyes. I stopped walking when I made it to my house and is stared straight at it. I sighed. Home sweet home. Now to become a mommy and worry about my baby's daddy.

I shook my head and crossed my arms.

I started up the driveway when I heard a voice come from behind me.

"Lillian?"

I stopped walking and looked behind me. I gasped and found the last person I expected to be here.

He looked better than I thought he would look and he wore something so… Him. A plain white shirt, jeans, and some sneakers. He looked so much like his old self which made me kind of relieved actually.

"Hey, Oliver, what are you doing here?" I quietly asked as I faced him.

I was nervous, but its better talking to him now than later right? Create peace before the drama comes out, or am I being wrong again?

He shrugged and looked down to his feet, he did look nervous, oh gosh, is something bad going to happen?

"Can we talk just you and me?" He asked with a serious tone in his voice.

I sighed and nodded and walked up the driveway with Oliver following me. I wondered what he wanted to talk about, but still, with the tone of his voice, it made me feel scared. I just hope mom wasn't at home and at work or something. It wouldn't be good if we started a fight with Mom home.

Oh gosh,

Please, I pray nothing bad happens while Oliver and I talk.

I took a deep breath and felt his hand on my shoulder when we made it to the front of my door.

"Don't be scared, we're just going to talk." He assured me and I nodded as I unlocked the door and stepped in.

He tells me to not be scared, but another part is making me doubt it.

Ugh, damn it I need to calm down, but I can't.

I wished I told Jackson to walk me home now.

**A/N**Sorry late update I had to revise and edit and change the entire plot, or just the ending. Plus last week was my school homecoming week and yeah I've been going to the things. So yeah, the end is near… I'm not saying when, but its close.

What do you think will happen next?

Hope you liked this chapter; tell me how I did on this chapter lol.


	22. One Last Time Edit

**A/N **After having a talk with Alissyn on AIM, yes you Alissyn XD, I decided to change the ending a bit... or a lot. XD So those of you who read the last one I wrote, I changed the ending. **  
**

**Chapter 22**

**One Last Time**

When we went inside the house, luckily no one was home. I was nervous, yeah, but still I don't know what to do. Oliver wants to talk, but I don't want to talk. I'm nervous to see what he wanted to talk about and it just freaked me out. Plus, he called me Lillian. No one_ ever _calls me that unless they want to be serious or something. It's like Lilly's a sarcastic name but… I should just shut up and relax.

We walked up the stairs to my room and I could feel Oliver following closely behind me. It's nerve-wracking, but I just have to feel better. I just wonder where my mom was.

I sighed and looked back and found Oliver staring straight at me. I blushed and continued up the stairs and to my room. When we reached my room, Oliver closed and locked the door behind him.

Why would he close and lock the door? It's not like we're going to do anything bad… Right?

I started to feel even more nervous. Damn it Oliver, why do you have to make me feel like this?

I avoided looking in his direction and moved to sit down on my bed. He was walking toward me until I found his feet right in front of me.

"Lilly?" Oliver quietly said.

His hand lifted from his side and to my chin, pushing it up so that I would stare into his eyes.

I bit my lip and shifted my gaze to somewhere else, but still he moved so that I could look directly into them.

"Look at me." He whispered and I finally stared at him.

His eyes clouded with confusion and his face so stiff and hard. He was trying hard not to do something, but still what did he want to do to me? He knows I don't love him, but what more did he want with me?

"So you and Jackson…" He started off as he gazed straight at me.

"What about me and Jackson?" I said as casual as I could, but you still could sense that I was nervous about this. Damn it, I need to relax and not think of this, but I can't help it.

He sighed and let go of me to pace back and forth, and then stopped to stare at me.

"Tell me what you want? I'll change; I just want to know what's wrong with me. I can change you know." He said as if he was practically begging me.

"I don't want to change you!" I said and felt completely frustrated. He just doesn't get that I don't want him. "You've already changed and I miss the old you."

There, I said it. I'm so sick of it. I thought he wanted to talk, but all I'm getting here is some stupid lecture on how he wants me. He doesn't want me. He wants Miley and yet he can't see it. I can't be with him, I'm with Jackson.

"What do you want from me?" He fought back and made his way in front of me.

He sounded distressed and his face looked straight, seriously, and confused all together. He ran his hands through his hair and pulled at them in frustration. He huffed and shook his head.

"I don't want anything Oliver." I said as slowly and calm as I could.

It's seeing Oliver like this. This is not like him.

"Oliver-" I started and then he went down on his knees in front of me, wrapped his arms around my waist, and pulled me into a hug.

"Lil-"

"Oliver!" I gasped took a hold of his hands. I tried to get him to let go of me, but nothing worked. His grip was too tight.

"I want to make this work." He said and sighed. "I want to be with you and Lauren and the baby." His voice now soft and quiet.

I shook my head. I could feel my own eyes could with tears. "I can't be with you Oliver, I don't love you!" I replied as I tried my best to push him away.

Oliver lifted his head up to meet my eyes. He shook his head as if he didn't understand me. "This is the right thing to do." He said loudly.

"Even if it's right, take some risks and find someone else. Other people find ways to get their family in order." I told him.

This was getting too complicated. I wanted to scream my head off at Oliver, but something was holding me back. The sound of his voice maybe? No, it couldn't be, he's being too… ignorant. He just doesn't get that I don't want to be with him.

Oliver let go of me and went down on one knee. He brought his hand to his pocket and dug inside to get something. I gasped. No, this isn't want he wants to do. What he's getting better not be what I think it will be.

"Lilly… listen." Oliver whispered, sounding calm and collected, but the look on his face told a different story.

Oliver brought out a small velvety baby blue colored box and held it in his hand.

I started shaking my head. He couldn't be serious, could he? Before I knew it, my vision grew blurry with my cheeks getting moist. I'm… crying?

"I want everything to be serious with us." Oliver said softly with his voice sounding oddly high. He moved his hand forward, in front of me, and opened it revealing a ring with a single diamond on it.

"No…" I shook my head.

My worst nightmare is getting true and he's asking for marriage. I'm only 17 and I'm not ready for this! Why would he make me do this?

I started to panic as Oliver cleared his throat. He stared deep into my eyes and finally said the words I've dreaded to hear.

"Will you marry me?"

I continuously shook my head and said, "No, I can't…"

Oliver took my hand and I pulled back. I was now bawling my eyes out. I haven't been true to Oliver and yet he wants to marry me? I can't do this, I don't even love him!

"No, Oliver, no." I said again and stood up. "I can't, not with you." I walked away from him and made went toward the window.

I gazed at him as he stared at me with confusion which is when it hit me. He was being serious. He wanted to marry me, but I know it was all for the wrong reasons. He loved Miley; I just know it and my mom probably forced him to ask me for marriage.

"Why not? Can't you just-" He started as he closed the box and laid it on the bed.

He walked toward me "I just want you to love me, is that too much for me to ask?" He put his hands on my shoulders and gripped tightly on them, practically hurting me.

I couldn't take it anymore. He just needs to understand. "I don't love you like that! I love you Oliver, sure, but you're just not the one!" I shouted at him, making him loosen his grip on me.

"Bu-"

"No, listen to me." I put my own hands on his shoulders and stepped forward. "I love Jackson Oliver." I whimpered. "I love him more than anything and you should be the one to know that!" I exclaimed. "You know how I felt the last day Jackson was here and you were so supportive and now you're like a fucking monster, what happened to you?" My eyes were now shut and I dropped my head.

"Lilly-" He started and I shook my head.

I managed to open my eyes and walked over to my bed to sit down. I pressed my palms against my eyes, wiping at them as I looked at him. "You just don't get it. You don't even know how much you hurt me by your change. Oliver, just face it, we don't love each other like that. You're just doing the right thing our parents want." I told him.

He made his way toward me and sat down next to me, but not too close. He nodded and there, I saw him tearing as well. "I know and I'm so dumb."

I looked at him hard as my tears grew. He knew he was changing but did he even try to stop it?

"I wanted to be a god father, but I knew you loved Jackson. I thought if I was more protective, you would finally forget about him, but I was right." He sighed and shook his head. "I knew you were having late night meetings with him, I knew you were seeing him all this time, but I didn't want to believe it. I didn't want him to tear us apart. I wanted to be a good father to Lauren, but the more I tried to be the good person, I was only hurting you and I hate myself for it."

Wait, he knew I was seeing Jackson, but he didn't do anything about it? I stared at him in utter shock and didn't know what else to do. I had my hands folded on my lap, tears still streaming down my cheeks as I listened to Oliver intently.

"So much shit can happen in one night and I just hate it. Everything is my fault, hell I still love Miley, but I tried my best to stay away from her." He said as he looked down to the ground.

I shook my head. That's how it's supposed to be, me and Jackson together and Miley and Oliver together. It should've been like that from the beginning, but still we fucked up, well, I fucked up.

"Oliver, if you love Miley, you should be with her, like how I was with Jackson." I sighed and scooted closer to him. "You will always be Lauren's father Ollie; we don't have to be married because of her." I put my hand on his lap and he gazed at me.

"My parents say-"

"For goodness sakes Oliver, stop listening to your parents for once and listen to me." I reached forward and cupped his cheek. "You're already a good father to Lauren, you've given her everything and I'm not going to make you stop seeing her. Even if we're not together, you can see her anytime you want; I just want you to be happy even if we're not together." I told him and he nodded.

"You're right." He closed his eyes.

We sat in silence for which felt like a life time before Oliver started talking again. Tears stop shedding for the both of us and Oliver finally played one of his old famous lopsided grins.

"Okay," He took a deep breath. "I think we can work this out, I'm going to go and talk to my parents."

I grinned. I didn't know why but I felt somewhat overly relieved. I didn't know, I thought this was going to be more scary than usual, but it's actually going quite well.

"We should talk like this more often." I shook my head and dropped his hand from his cheek.

"I don't know. I don't even know if I believe this, it's just so weird." He chuckled. "We went from serious pissed off to actually smiling. I'm going crazy." He shrugged.

"Yep, well, at least you now understand that I want to be with Jackson and you want to be with Miley, which, by the way, what have you been doing for the past week?"

I raised an eyebrow. It only occurred to me that I haven't heard of both of them thought the week which gets me kind of excited. Has something happened to the two of them while I was worrying my ass off that Oliver was going to kill himself?

Oliver blushed as he looked down. "Well, actually, the night I saw you two, I met up with Miley and had some alone time with her." He bit his lip. "Why I reacted that way when I saw you two, I thought of Lauren and I don't know; my feelings were fucked up because of my incident with Miley." He shrugged.

My eyes widened and I laughed. "Alone time? Who uses that word?" I asked and he rolled his eyes.

"I stayed home and talked with my brother and parents about everything and eventually they talked me into marrying you and they kind of made me think I had more than just friend's feelings for you." He shrugged.

I rolled my eyes. "Never believe Junior." I sighed. "Anyway, you should get going." I said and reached for the box which held the engagement ring.

I opened it and smiled at the ring. It was cute, but I couldn't accept it. I closed the box and handed it to Oliver.

He sighed and took the box. "Yeah, but… Lilly?" Oliver asked and I smiled at him

"Yes?"

"Do you think I can have one last kiss before I forget everything between us? You know-"

Before he could finish his sentence, I kissed him. It wasn't rushed or anything, but a slow and soothing kiss. Something I've never had with him and I just felt like he deserved it.

The kiss grew and we both fell to the bed with our mouths pressed against each other. His hands started to roam and I didn't mind it for some reason. I just didn't care at this point. I was comfortable with him touching me because of the past so I didn't think too much of it.

I noticed him getting a little too out of hand with the kiss so I decided to stop it. I pushed him from me and sat up from the bed.

"We can't do anything more Oliver, you should know." I told him and he nodded.

"Yeah, sorry, old habits and I'm sorry for those times I forced myself on you."

I sighed. "Yeah, I know."

---

For t he next few hours, Oliver and I talked and it was nice. He told me some things and I told him some things and eventually I found out about everything he and Miley did when I wasn't there. It was a little embarrassing and I found out that he and Miley hadn't even done anything intimate yet.

I told him everything Jackson and I did while Jackson was here and I didn't mind. At this point, I didn't care for what people thought of me and Jackson. I just want things to patch up and get going with my life with Jackson.

It felt like hours, but it was nice talking to Oliver like how we used to talk. When he decided to take a nap, I took the time to take a shower, I don't know, the thought of taking a shower after a kind of break up, I suppose, felt nice. Plus, I wanted to see Jackson and if Jackson smelled Oliver on me, he would probably kill Oliver. Again. Like how he did that time he found out I was pregnant.

---

I went back into my room when I was finished showering and saw Oliver had finally woken up and was changing.

"Hey." I said as I saw a clear view of his butt.

"Oh!" He jumped and quickly got his pants up.

I laughed. "Kinda too late to be modest now huh?" I raised an eyebrow and went to my sprayed myself.

"Well it is odd. That was kinda… a little awkward." Oliver blushed and sat on my bed.

"Awkward with the opening up or something?" I shook my head.

"Sorta, I guess." He shrugged. "I only changed because I felt bad for what I tried to do earlier with the whole engagement." He shrugged.

I rolled my eyes. "It's supposed to be a closing to the relationship okay?" I told him and he nodded.

"Okay." He saluted and pulled on his shirt.

"So?" I asked him.

"It's nothing. It's just different." He said and gazed at me.

"Different how?"

"I don't know." He sighed. "This is confusing."

"We'll talk about it, Oliver." I walked over to him and patted his head. "Just don't think of Lauren or anything at the moment. Be happy and go see Miley if you want."

He chuckled. "Fine fine, I will later." He said and looked at the clothes beside him, ones he changed out of. "Funny how I picked out this outfit just to talk to you. Man I feel like such a girl."

"Oh gosh." I shook my head and lightly poked at his head. "Anyway, I'm going to go see Jackson, so I'll be back if you're still going to be here. Bye for now Oliver." I said and waved at him as I exited my room.

I jogged down the stairs, feeling extremely good for some reason. I can finally be with Jackson with no problem between us and everything's going to be great.

I grinned and got out of the house. I put on some shoes that was on the porch and headed off to the sidewalk. I was walking in the direction of Emily's house, feeling completely up beat and excited. Gosh, I never felt like this since, maybe, the last time I was with Jackson for real.

I was just a block away from Emily's house and I could see Jackson outside, talking with Kristy and his pervert of a friend, RJ. As I grew closer, RJ hugged Jackson and then went into Emily's car, which, I guess they were going home.

I slowed down and decided that they should have some time together before I get any closer and interrupt them. Jackson was now hugging Kristy and the hug lasted longer than usual. They were whispering to one another and just as they parted from the hug, they looked at each other and smiled.

I was about a house away from them when I saw stopped dead in my tracks and found the boy who said I was his soul mate kiss his so-called ex-girlfriend.

**A/N **I'm super sorry for the very Lollie chapter. Hope you liked this chapter! What do you think Lilly's going to do now? I didn't change it because of Alissyn honestly LOL I changed it because it felt awkward and if I left it the way it was, then it would've left a lot of openings. I plan on ending this in just 2 more chapters. I haven't read my reviews yet and Alissyn was talking to me about the chapter cuz I'm doing my project, I took a break of my project so I can edit it lol, and yeah I plan on reading them after I finish my project. If you want to know how the other ending was, just ask for it.


	23. Doubting Again

**Chapter 23**

**Doubting Again**

I didn't know how to react. My heart raced, but no tears came. Hands clenched with my teeth bearing into my lower lip, practically tearing into the flesh, but still, nothing happened.

Jackson and Kristy tore away form each other, leaving Jackson staring at Kristy as she entered the car. Jackson waved at them as the car stared running and I just stood there, staring at him.

I don't know. I just don't want to go to him, but just stay away and think of my own feelings. I'm just in utter confusion at the moment and it sucks.

Jackson smile faded as he turned to his right and saw me. He looked a bit surprised and started to approach me. I didn't know what I did, but then I found myself running away from him, past my house, and to some random place.

I could hear a soft voice calling for me, but I really didn't pay attention to it. My ears were plugged and I blocked everything off my mind.

Complete confusion filled me, I'm just, I don't know. I shouldn't be jealous; I shouldn't even be running from him since I kissed Oliver today, but still… I just don't know what else to do.

After running for so long, I made it to the beach. I stopped, collapsed to the sand, and breathed inhaled and exhaled hard, with my breathing coming out in small gasps.

On my band on the sand, I dug my fingers into the sand and closed my eyes, only to envision the kiss between Kristy and Jackson. If this is how I'm going to feel every time see Jackson kissing some random girl, then I don't want to feel this anymore.

I shook my head and pushed myself up into a seated position. I looked down at the sand and dug my toes into it. I sighed and shook my head.

"I'm stupid. I kiss Oliver and I shouldn't feel jealous or sad or anything just because Jackson kissed another girl, but still, it really felt weird. I don't want him to kiss anyone else other than me."

I stayed at the beach for at least an hour before heading back to my house. I had a lot to think about, the relationship between me and Jackson, how me and Oliver will play out, if my mom would accept the fact that Oliver and I wont be together like how she wanted, it's just weird and I promise myself I will not get depressed or anything like that just because something as small as this.

When I got home, I found Oliver holding Lauren in his arms with my mom sitting next to him. They were in a deep conversation, but I didn't care, I just needed to think a little bit of how to feel.

I passed the living room and jogged up the stairs to my room. Once I got there, I found Oliver's outfit in the trash with the engagement ring on the nightstand.

I've had a nice boyfriend/ex-boyfriend who was willing to give up his freaking life to be with me and Lauren and now that that's broken up, there's Jackson. I've had him since the beginning and yet I really feel as if I can't do anything.

Seeing Jackson with Kristy made me realize that… did I really want to spend the rest of my life with him or something? Is he that someone that I want to be with until I die?

He's perfect, just perfect, but it made me think that and I'm scared. I just don't want to fall out of something I'm not committed to. What if I regret going back with Jackson?

The beginning of our relationship was full of sex and games and it wasn't even until later when we did start to take things seriously. It's just so frustrating when I think about it and I don't want a relationship where all we do is intimate acts.

I shook my head and leaned back on my bed. I raised my arms above my head and crossed them right under my head. I closed my eyes and creased my forehead.

I felt weird. I feel like I've done something like this before, some deja vu action happening. Maybe I've done this more than once? Ugh, why must my relationship with Jackson always feel like this? I need to trust him, love him, everything but then here I am, doubting him.

Damn my stupid paranoia.

I rolled my eyes and continued to think of it.

"What if everything goes wrong? Then what will happen? I don't want my stupid little nightmare to happen again, and now that my wishes came true, do I really want to be in this relationship?" I told my self and loudly exhaled.

He called me his soul mate last night and it makes me wonder if we're right, if everything is right. He's in college and I'm nearing my senior year in high school. I want to have fun and explore, but I'm just scared.

What if Jackson is the one? What if I don't find the perfect guy and if I lose this chance with Jackson, what if it all falls apart?

I rolled on my stomach and took my pillow, burying my face into it, and shouted.

If only things will be easier, then I'll be fine.

----

It had been weeks since I last saw Jackson and I know he's been looking for me, I just hadn't been home. I'd been out with Oliver and Miley, spending time with them like how it should be and it was fun. My mom's home most of the time and it really does help me since I am going back to school in fall.

I was sitting on the porch steps with Oliver and Miley, talking about anything. Oliver stood in front of me with Miley leaning against the railing beside me. We were joking around about the old days when we were freshman. It was weird, we're stepping into our senior year next month and now we're talking about when we were itty bitty frosh. It was only until Miley brought up the subject of Jackson when I stopped laughing and started thinking about him.

I haven't spoken about him, but I know for a fact that Miley's telling Jackson about everything I tell her. I don't know, it's just this weird feeling I'm having, but still, it's pretty obvious he would do this, why wouldn't she if she didn't care right? She wants me to be with him and yet I'm still paranoid, it's stupid. Why cant I be a normal girl and just forget about all the problems I have? It's so weird.

I guess Miley noticed my dazed look because all of a sudden she started asking questions about us and when I'm going to talk to him, which is soon, I hope.

"Lilly, you're running out of time to talk to him. When is soon?" She asked me and I shrugged.

"I don't know when soon is." I honestly told her and dropped my gaze on her. "I'm still confused with my feelings. I'm just scared of commitment." I told her and looked to my lap.

Oliver and Miley had obviously been dating again and it's awesome, but I hate feeling like the third wheel. They tried bringing me on a double date with Jackson one time a few days ago, but I refused to go and stayed home with Lauren.

I made sure that I kept the doors locked and the shades of my room closed so it seemed like no one was home in case of a surprise visit from Jackson. I just couldn't face him at the moment, it was weird for me and yeah I missed him, I missed him a lot but I still had a lot to think about.

"_Commitment_." Miley rolled her eyes. "So you're telling me the whole time you were with him, you weren't _committed_?" She questioned as she eyed me suspiciously.

I sighed. "You know what I mean; I'm just scared of being hurt. He's going back to Nashville and I'm in California and we're going to be, what, two hours with the whole time difference, it's going to be hard." I bit my lip and hugged myself.

I see Miley, from the corner of my eye; pull out her cell phone with an irritated look on her face. Gosh, I might as well be her enemy again if I'm acting like this.

From hating me because I was with her brother to hating me because I'm not with her brother. It's so weird. Well, I do want to be with Jackson, I'm just not with him because I'm selfish, yep, because I'm scared to be hurt, grr, if only I can admit that out loud, everything will be fine.

"Look Lilly, I know you're scared, but look at me and Miley, we're fine." Oliver pointed out.

I shook my head. "Still, even if you two are perfect, I just don't want to be hurt you know? I've gone through too much this year and yeah…"

"Oh… are you afraid that you're going to tie him down with the distance? You want him to be free? You don't want to be with him, do you?" Miley asked with a shocked voice as she stuffed her cell phone away.

I frantically shook my head. That's not it at all… or is it? I don't know I'm so confused.

"I want to be with Jackson Miley, you should know not to ask that sort of question, but it scares me. What if he cheats on me while he's there and I'm here? Now I just can't handle the pressure, everything, just everything is fucked up and I pretty much screwed up you know?" I said as my voice shook.

I didn't want her to know my true feelings, hell, I don't even know my own feelings, but times like this, I tend to open up about my feelings more than I open up to myself. I don't know, I guess it's when your best friend is there, it's like everything has to happen for a reason or something.

"You shouldn't doubt your relationship. He's leaving in less than a week Lilly, talk to him before its too late." Miley gave me a supporting smile and I shrugged.

"I don't know. See, that's why, he's leaving, he wont even have time for me. You don't know how much I missed him this whole year he was gone."

Oliver, who was standing right in front of me, moved to sit down next to me and slung his arm around my shoulders. I leaned into him and closed my eyes.

"Lilly, just be happy for once. I want you to be happy and I know Lauren wants you to be happy. You made me happy by practically forcing me to talk to Miley again, well, in front of you."

We all laughed at that and I nodded.

"One day, my dears, one day." I said and lifted my head. I turned to Oliver and pushed him off me. "Now get to your girlfriend before I slap you."

He shook his head. "Just showing some love to my friend you know." He stood up from the steps and stood next to Miley, who was leaning against the railing.

**A/N**Sorry for the filler chapter lolz. Next chapter will be a sort of important chapter. Sorry for the shortness. Now there will be two chapters left XD.


	24. Trying So Hard

**Chapter 24**

**Trying So Hard **

I was feeding Lauren in the living room, sitting on the couch, just relaxing for a bit.

I decided to start fresh and new this school year. Change, a little maybe, but I'm definitely excited for it. Anyway, it would be different, I still hadn't talked to Jackson and I'm a bit surprised that I've been able to avoid Jackson for so long.

Miley and Oliver, after the talk I had with them yesterday, they made me realize that I wasn't being fair. I haven't been fair for a while now and, gosh, as much as I hate how I am now, I think it would be nice if I called Jackson.

I shook my head.

Now just isn't the time to talk to him, but he's almost leaving. I'm acting so childish and even I'm getting irritated of my own self, if that's possible.

I glanced at Lauren in my arms, getting ready to fall asleep, and I got up to put her in her playpen. After that, I went back to the couch to lie down. I have a slight headache for thinking too much, but hey, when am I to ever think? I usually just let things flow as they go by, but so many things change and I can't help but admit that I've changed.

I changed so much that I'm growing to hate myself so much. I hear all the time that when you have a baby, you change, but I never knew that you could change emotionally. It's just weird, I don't know, I just want to be free from this all and get away, but I can't. I'm a teen mother and I have to face the consequences.

So yep, I'm a bored, meaning I'm a boring person. What to do?

I put my arms behind my head, using it as a pillow and closed my eyes.

So many things to do, such little time. My mind is flooded with stupid worries for Jackson and I should just chill, calm down, and relax for a while.

Damn it!

I rolled to my side and stared at Laruen's playpen.

She's 6 months old now, she's getting bigger. I don't want her to be a screw up like me; I just hope I can bring her up to be a better person than I am now.

I closed my eyes and yawned.

I wonder, would this ever happen if Jackson wasn't in my life? If I hadn't been so intimate with Jackson, then I wouldn't have gone upstairs and assumed that Oliver was Jackson, and then I wouldn't be as fucked up as I am now.

----

I lay in the middle of a soft bed with my face buried into the crook of a person's neck. Arms around me, holding me tight, with fingers caressing my cheek. Soft words being whispered in my ear with my body feeling warm and tingly.

"You're perfect, too perfect and beautiful. I love you; you'll always be the one I want." The person whispered as his soft lips pressed against my forehead.

I moved my hands to his chest, and gripped onto his shirt. I took in a deep breath, taking in his familiar scent, and lightly exhaled with my eyes fluttering open.

The room, light, covered in flowers, looked nothing like what I've seen before. It was an unknown room, but the environment felt pretty and light, something like I've needed in a long time.

I lifted my head up and found myself staring into the eyes of Jackson. There was something different with his features; he looked like his old self. His hair long and wavy, that same look he had before he left for college. He looked happy with a soft smile pasted on his face and his eyes flickered with excitement.

He leaned forward and captured my lips into a passionate kiss, with his fingers running down my cheek to side of my neck.

Once we parted, he smiled and kissed the tip of my nose.

"Lilly." He said and I smiled with my heart feeling warm.

"Jackson, what-" I started, but he pressed his finger against my lips.

"Shh, just enjoy the moment." He said and held me close to him.

I kissed the side of his neck and closed my eyes as I felt Jackson's hands running through my thick hair.

Then, out of nowhere, Jackson's soft voice started to whisper a song. The song we heard at the mall when we went to the mall the day he took me out.

"Forget this life, come with me, don't look back your safe now, unlock your heart, drop your guard, no ones left to stop you now…" He whispered and stopped.

My heart clenched to those words and soon I felt Jackson's lips on my own. My head started to spin with my chest beating rapidly. The kiss felt all so real and I wanted more, I wanted everything to be alright because that's how it felt at the moment.

I opened my eyes and stared at him as he pulled away, eyes closed, with his face slightly flushed. He took a few deep breaths before he finally opened his eyes, only to gaze deep into my own.

"Why'd you sing that?" I asked.

"You need to stop thinking lowly of yourself. I love you Lilly and I don't want you to leave me. You can't; I want to be with you." He said with his hand cupping my cheek.

I moved a little higher so that we were at eyelevel and I pursed my lips. I wanted to reach out and touch him, but I was afraid to. He was doing all the touching and I felt helpless at his touch.

"But how? I'm scared." I pleaded with my eyes stinging.

I was scared; it just felt too unreal for him to say this.

"I want you Lilly, only you." He said with his voice growing even quieter.

"Ho-" I started and he merely shook his head.

"Just be honest to me, tell me how you feel, what you're thinking, and everything will be okay."

"Jackson." I said with my voice slightly shaky.

"Lilly." Jackson said and his voice faded with the whole background as well.

----

I opened my eyes, but with my vision blurry, I realized I was crying. That dream made me feel even more sad and confused than I was earlier and it sucks. I am holding back and I just don't want to let go of Jackson, but with the distance, it's killing me. I'm just scared.

I'm not surprised that it was a dream, but still am because it didn't have some sex or anything like that in it. That might probably be the first ever dream that didn't have Jackson pulling at my bra strap with his teeth or something and it was… nice.

I sat up and pulled my legs up to my chest, and hugged them tightly. I need to pull myself together and just relax.

I took deep breaths and glanced over at the playpen where Lauren was to see if she was alright, but then I realized that she wasn't in there.

My eyes bugged out and I gasped, only to stand up quickly and run over to it.

"Lauren?" I said loudly, but still she wasn't there.

Panic filled me and I put my hands to my forehead, feeling utterly scared.

"Where is Lauren?" I asked myself and felt the need to cry. I never once felt like this before, but now that I do I'm scared, what if someone stole her? Oh my gosh, she can't be kidnapped!

I looked around the room and started to think of what to do, but nothing came to mind.

I_need _to call Oliver.

I looked for my cell phone, but realized that it was upstairs so I fled up the stairs and to my room. It wasn't until I went inside that I realized someone was home. Someone was home. Not Leah, mom, or Oliver, but someone else.

I stared at the blond haired figure standing up, holding Lauren in his arms while staring outside the window and finally all the fear was drained and was replaced with panic.

_Jackson_

I took a few deep breaths and took two steps forward. I was scared, but that dream had to mean something right? Such a big coincidence that whenever I dream about Jackson, there he is, but this last dream didn't have to do with anything bad and it somewhat gave me confidence.

I clenched my fists and took a few steps forward.

"So you have Lauren huh?" I said, sounding more relieved than I really am.

I feel more scared than how I sound. Gosh, I'm really fucked up. This is it… And I'm not ready. I can't talk to him about this, he wouldn't understand damn it.

"Yeah, I do, did I scare you?" He replied back with a smile on his face.

"No you didn't, but still, what's up with that?" I asked placing my hands on my hips.

My heart raced with anticipation as he walked toward me with Lauren in his arms. She was sleeping with a bottle in her mouth.

Wow, Jackson really does know how to take care of a child. Jackson smiled as he handed me Lauren. I took her from his arms and walked over to her crib to place her inside of it. It was now or never and I just want a reason to be with him, but I need to know what he wants from me.

"Lilly, why are you avoiding me?" Jackson said as he broke the silence.

I felt hands on my shoulders and there I started to feel nervous. Every time it gets like this, I feel so nervous and it sucks. I don't know what to do except worry that this is going to turn out horribly wrong and I'm going to regret my choice.

I sighed and shook my head. "I'm not avoiding you." I lied.

Damn it, I have to lie just to save myself. That's not cool at all.

"Come on Lilly, I heard you on the phone yesterday. You don't want to see me. Am I wasting my time just trying to be with you? I love you Lilly, why can't you see that?" His voice slightly quiet.

I clenched my jaw and closed my eyes. I didn't know what to say or do, but still, I'm afraid. I want to go out and have fun and its saying; do I really want to settle down with Jackson when I won't even see him until next summer?

I sighed and finally turned around. I found Jackson's gaze at me completely dark and confused. His eyes bore into me with his brows furrowing. He held my gaze and he looked concern, I made him worry for me too long.

"I love you too Jackson, I told you that, but I don't know. I hate the distance, I don't even think I can handle you being there while I'm here finishing up school." I said. I pursed my lips and he stepped forward. "It's why I don't want to be with you, I don't want you to be tied down, and I want you to experience the real life in college."

"Don't say that." Jackson shook his head and cupped my cheek. "We can make it work-"

"No Jackson, we can't!" I raised my voice and pushed his hand from my cheek. "Don't you understand? I'm going to be hurt, I'm going to be missing you every single day until you come back home. I don't even think I can handle you being gone for so long and I just want you Jackson. I want you here with me and the fact that you're at a place so far away makes it even harder for me." Feeling overwhelmed, my eyes welled up and tears rolled down my cheeks.

Jackson stayed quiet, just watching me as I continued to cry. I couldn't even see his expression, but I know he hates me.

"I just-" I sucked in air from my mouth and held in my breath for a few second before releasing it. "I don't want you to regret being with me while you're there. I don't want you to be tied down and I just want to have fun while it lasts, is that too much to ask?"

As much as I regret saying it, I just had to. I didn't want to say this, but I don't want him to be with me. I know he would want to go off with a better woman there, especially one with the same interests as him. I'll consider him a girlfriend he just dated for fun, but not someone he loved. I love him to death and I'll do anything to make him happy, I just wish he would tell me the truth. He doesn't want to be with me, even if I see my whole life being with him. Gosh, I'm so negative, but I can't help it. I want him happy, not sad.

He wasn't saying more so I decided to push him off. I was growing irritated of him and I just needed my space, or at least time to think.

Just as I turned from him, Jackson gripped on my arms and held them tightly he pulled me close to him and walked me toward the nearest wall, which was right beside the crib.

I was startled. He's actually pinning me against the wall. My eyes widened as I saw Jackson's own eyes well, but forced the tears to not escape.

"Do you really want this to not happen?" His voice hoarse and hurt.

I bit on my lower lip hard and looked down.

"Do you want me to waste my life searching for the right person when I say the right person is right in front of me?" He asked as he inched closer toward me.

"I-" I started, but couldn't finish my sentence.

I was just too afraid to say something I know I'm going to regret, which isn't working out since I already said things I regret.

"Lilly, tell me right here and now how you feel for me and I'll leave. Tell me the one thing that's so wrong with our relationship and you're off on your own. I'd probably kill myself but still, I don't care." He said with a serious look on his face.

What? Kill him? That's just not right. I shook my head.

"Jackson don't say that!" I creased my forehead and clenched my fists.

"How can I not say that? Yeah I sound like some possessive boyfriend or something and I don't mean it, but I just have to know why you think distance is such a big issue." He said and shook me a bit, trying to get me to look at him.

"You're just wasting your time with me." I softly said with my heart feeling as if it was shattered into a million pieces.

So would this really be the end for us? Again at that?

There, Jackson threw my hands down and cupped both my cheeks, forcing me to gaze at him.

"Don't say that." He said and shook his head. "I want to be with you, don't you understand?" He asked and dropped his hands from me. He stepped backward and dug his hands into his pockets.

"How can I understand Jackson? You're the one who decided to move to Tennessee an-"

"And is transferring here. I want to be with you and that's why distance isn't a problem. I decided long ago that I couldn't stand being in Tennessee anymore and here I am, losing the one I love right before my eyes and it sucks like hell." He sighed.

He sounded like he was going to give up, but knowing this is just making me even more confused. Man, I need to sit down or something.

"What?" I furrowed my brows and he took a little box from his pocket.

He stepped forward and captured my hands. "I'm transferring here because I want to be with you. I realized that we're just hurting each other just by not being near each other and I'm willing to move here so we can happen." He blushed and looked away.

I gaped at him. He really did want to make this work? He's risking his career because of me?

I didn't know what to say but tears were welling up once again. Damn it, why must I get emotional over something like this? For some reason, I feel more hopeful than before and maybe it's because he actually wants something good to happen in our relationship.

I reached forward and put my hand on his chest. He put a hand over mine and I could sense most of the tension drop when Jackson shyly smiled.

"I'm crazy for you Lilly. Like I said, I feel like you're my soul mate or something. You've changed so much in me and maybe I really do see a future in our relationship, but if you want a break then…" He took a deep breath. "It's going to be hard for me to give you this." He said and handed me the box.

I eyed the box and without any hesitation, I opened it. I gasped at what was inside and it was a matching ring to the bracelet and necklace he gave me at those times.

"What? Jackson, why are you always giving me something like this?" I asked and shoved it back into his hands.

He shook his head. "No Lilly, it's supposed to be a promise ring." He said.

I eyed it and eyed him. "But…" I started and he shook his head.

"Don't give it back. I just want our relationship to be special, more special than other relationships you know?" He looked down and closed his eyes. "But now that you-" He started but soon I found myself in his arms and I kissed him.

Hopefully a kiss will patch things up in our relationship, like it always has, but still, it makes me wonder

I take back everything I said tonight. I'm stupid and selfish and I shouldn't have said anything in the first place. Damn it, I'm a dumb ass. Giving up such a great guy, maybe I am stupid for trying, more like thinking, too hard for this relationship. So many obstacles to come in our way and here I am worrying about distance. I just hope he doesn't regret everything we've gone through this whole time.

We pulled apart and gazed at each other.

"So what? Forget about all of this?" Jackson asked and I shrugged.

"Umm, a new beginning?" I asked him and he nodded.

"Fine, let's start all over." Jackson smiled.

"If that will help."

"I think it will." He said and sounded more positive than he was earlier.

"Okay, I'll go first." I grinned and he stepped back, removing his hands from my body.

"And how are we going to do this?" Jackson asked and I started laughing.

"I dot know, I have the perfect way of doing it." I said and cleared my throat. I took a deep breath and opened my mouth.

"I, Lilly Truscott, have been having "Sex Dreams" of "Mr. Sexy Jackson Rod Stewart" and I like having them!" I said loud, but not loud enough for Lauren to hear.

With that, Jackson broke down in laughter and embraced me into a tight hug.

"God, I love you." He whispered and kissed me.

"I love you too!"

**A/N**Okay, one more chapter people! Or like… an epilogue lol. Tell me how I did on this chapter please. I kinda feel like it sucked lol. I just hope you guys liked it!


	25. Epilogue: Anywhere

**Epilogue**

**Anywhere**

"Oliver, don't do that to Lauren!" Lilly shouted from her seat as she watched Oliver throw her seven year old daughter in the air.

"Lilly, relax, he knows what he's doing." Jackson's soothing voice whispered in Lilly's ear.

Oliver, Lilly, Jackson, and Miley were having their weekly dinner at Lilly and Jackson's house and it was just all fun and games. It had been years since the controversy of Oliver and Lilly's past and since then life became easier.

Lilly ended up with the perfect guy after pushing aside her negative thoughts of being with him. She realized she was just stupid for thinking so badly about Jackson and now she's just happy that she's with him.

Lilly sighed and leaned against Jackson and snuggled deep into his chest. She watched Oliver hug Lauren in his arms and smiled at the sight. There were no problems with who could have Lauren. Lauren stayed over at Oliver's most of the time since Lilly and Jackson had jobs to go to, but Lilly still spent a lot of time with her.

"Lilly, I think Jason is hungry." Miley said as she stood up from her seat across the room and carried a baby.

A year after her marriage with Jackson, Lilly got pregnant with Jason Logan Stewart. He looks exactly like Jackson, blonde hair, soft features, just everything a perfect baby needed.

Miley slowly handed Lilly the infant and Lilly smiled down at the baby as she started to feed him through a bottle. She gazed up at Miley as she took a seat next to Oliver on the couch and started tickling Lauren.

"Stop it!" Lauren shouted as she put her small hands out and tried to get Miley's hands from her small frame.

"Say please." Miley said in a taunting voice and grinned as the girl moved in Oliver's arms, trying to get away.

"Pleassseeee." She squealed.

Lilly chuckled at Lauren as she shook her head. Her face was turning a deep shade of red as Miley continued to tickle her.

"What's my name?" Miley asked and then Oliver started to tickle her as well.

"Please Aunty Miley!" Lauren shouted and Miley broke down in laughter. She stopped tickling Lauren, and so did Oliver and she settle on his lap, breathing hard.

Lauren eventually got off from Oliver's arms and ran across the room over to Jackson on the couch. She climbed onto Jackson's lap and sat down as she watched her brother in her mom's arms.

She scrunched her face as she took a hold of Jason's foot. She squeezed it and moved closer to Jason until Jackson put his arms around Lauren's body and held her in place. Lauren sighed and frowned at Jason.

"Uncle Jackson, when will Jason talk to me?" Lauren asked as she pounced on Jackson's lap.

"She's too young to love." He kissed her the top of her head.

Jackson chuckled and pulled Lauren close to him. She settled down and rested her head on Jackson's chest while watching Jason settle down in Lilly's arms.

Her long blonde hair in pigtails, how Miley tied them up for the night. She looked like a miniature Lilly; she even grew into the skater look, just like Lilly. She didn't like it when Miley tried to dress her up into a girly girl, that's how you know Lauren is Lilly's daughter.

"Lauren, you'll talk to him one day, just be happy. You're a big girl now with a little brother." Lilly grinned as she leaned forward to kiss Lauren's forehead.

----

After Oliver, Miley, and Lauren left, Lilly lay in bed, waiting for Jackson as he put Jason to bed. She stared at the ceiling and thought about her life.

Life has been fun, sweet, and nice. She got over so much drama and in her last year of high school went by fast. She continued to date Jackson, even took him to her senior ball. It was just perfect and Jackson helped her through the bad things in life. Leah was there too, but she was too busy with work and in the end, she got someone she loved too.

By the time college came, so much happened. She met a few new people, but still stuck with Jackson. She loved Jackson and she's completely happy that she ended up with him. She got married to Jackson in her final year in college and now that she has a child with him. She just felt right, ending up with her high school sweetheart.

She smiled to the thought of how it all began and how her relationship with Jackson grew to so much more. It just seemed like a big fairytale, in a way, almost perfect.

She heard the door open and in came Jackson with a smile on his face. He closed the door and slipped under the sheets of their bed. He lay down and winked at Lilly as she settled deeper under the sheets.

"Is Jason asleep?" Lilly asked and he nodded.

"Yeah, for a year old baby, he's pretty good at falling asleep at the right time." He smiled and leaned to kiss Lilly.

The kiss lasted for a few minutes until Lilly cupped his cheek and pulled him closer to herself. Jackson moved over her and held her close as they continued to make out. As they parted, Lilly gazed deep into Jackson's eyes.

Jackson grinned and shook his head. He knew exactly what the look on Lilly's face meant and he just was unsure if he wanted to do it or not.

"Do you think now is a good time to do this?" He asked and Lilly scooted closer to him with her hand resting just above his abdomen.

"When is it never a good time to do this?" Lilly asked as she lightly pecked the tip of Jackson's nose.

Jackson kissed her, adding so much passion in it. He tightly hugged Lilly and grinned against her lips. He opened his eyes, only to reach over to the lamp to turn off the light.

"I love you Jackson."

"Love you too Lilly."

--

_My dreams, nightmares, and wishes came true  
And in the end,  
All I wanted was you. _

**A/N**Okay, the end of Wishes… or the Dreams trilogy. Sigh. I don't know I had a lot of fun with this. I never thought a lot of people would actually like these three fics lol. Thanks to everyone who read and enjoyed Dreams, Nightmares, and Wishes. You guys are awesome. So thanks again to the readers and reviewers to the three of these fics.

Maricel  
AlwaysxAddicted


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